


Off Road

by blackrainbow



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:13:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrainbow/pseuds/blackrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin, forced to get engaged to make a strong bond between their families. But they just two person with different life, different goal, they even seemed to breathe different air.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Changmin was a mysterious man. Maybe because he was quiet. Or maybe it was the longing way he looked out through the window, with his long eyelashes and beautiful eyes, and his perfect jawline framed his gorgeous face charmingly. He was breathtaking and Yunho forgot to put enough air supplies to his lung the first time they met.

 

“It’s raining,” Yunho tried to start the conversation.

 

Changmin startled and changed his glance from the outside world to Yunho. But Yunho knew his mind was still elsewhere. Still, Changmin answered, “It is.”

 

“Do you… want to order something?” Yunho asked, finally.

 

Changmin sighed, and took a look to the menu. “Do you?”

 

Yunho was staring to the man in front of him, his long legs crossed, leaned back to his chair, and looked down to read the menu.

 

“Coffee for me, then.” Changmin said.

 

Two cups of hot coffee added, but still couldn’t break the ice between them.

 

Yunho slurped his coffee quietly, didn’t want to disturb the other man’s thought. When Changmin reached for his own coffee cup, he dared himself to speak.

 

“Do you have to be somewhere soon?”

 

“I have an appointment at 4.” Changmin replied, as he put some sugar in his black coffee.

 

Yunho glanced at his watch. 1.15 PM. He didn’t know what he should say, or do. It was still a quite long time.

 

Jung Janghyun, Yunho’s father was known as the ex General of Republic of Korea Armed Forces. His high rank in military made him famous in many circles, especially politics. In the other hand, Shim Changmin was the son of Shim Ingeun, one of the strong candidates for the next president election. Without further information, both parties already knew that it was obvious the meeting between them arranged to bond the two families to become one.

 

“Shim… Shim Cha- Chang…” Mrs Jung tried hard to remember the name of the politician’s son.

 

“Shim Changmin, dear.” Mr Jung helped her.

 

“Ah, right!” Mrs Jung clapped her hands and smiled brightly to her son. “Shim Changmin is reaaallly good looking, Yunho-yah… you’ll like him in an instant!”

 

It was right. He liked Changmin. The guy was easy on the eye. But unfortunately he wasn’t socially active.

 

“So… so…” Yunho stuttered, felt a bit nervous somehow.

 

“You can talk more comfortably, Yunho-sshi. You’re two years older than me.” Changmin drank his coffee elegantly.

 

“Okay,” Yunho cleared his throat. “So… Changmin… Changmin-sshi…” Yunho wanted to drop the formalities, but maybe it was too soon to do that. “You’re still in college, yes?”

 

“Yes.” Changmin answered.

 

Yunho knew that. He got all the information about Shim Changmin from Siwon. He knew Changmin studied music in America, and now back to Korea, he continued to get his second degree. He hoped Changmin would tell him more, though.

 

“Maybe… if you want… you can ask me questions, Changmin.” Yunho said, tried to be more casual. “…-sshi,” he quickly added.

 

“My father’s assistant gave me a copy of your profile. I’ve read it.” Changmin said.

 

“Oh.” Yunho didn’t know what else to say.

 

It was really hopeless. Yunho didn’t know what else to do to this man. Maybe he should leave. Maybe.

 

“I just remember I have a… meeting…” Yunho looked at his watch. “I should leave.” He took his bag and asked for the bill.

 

Surprisingly, Changmin stood up as well, after he put pieces of cash on the table, enough to pay for both of their coffee.

 

“No, I’ll pay… at least for mine.” Yunho quickly took his wallet from his bag.

 

“It’s okay. It’s nothing.” Changmin refused.

 

“No, really, I’m-“

 

“Where are you going?” Changmin asked.

 

“What?” Yunho was distracted.

 

“Where are you going?” he asked again. “I’ll take you there. You’re not driving, right?”

 

“Well… I’m… I can go by myself.”

 

“It’s fine. Come on.” Changmin led him out of the café and to his car.

 

“Changmin-sshi,” Yunho called. “This is not necessary.”

 

“Just get in. I’ll take you wherever you want.” Changmin said as he walked to his car.

 

Yunho just stood there and stared, before finally followed Changmin and got in his car.

 

“So. Where to go?” Changmin put on his seatbelt.

 

“I have… um… work…” Yunho mumbled. He didn’t plan this. He thought he could just got away from this cold guy.

 

“Okay.” Changmin replied shortly as he started the engine.

 

“Wait. Where are you going?”

 

“You said you had work. You teach hapkido in the academy right? I know the place.” Changmin replied.

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I told you I read your profile.”

 

 _Right_. “What else do you know about me, then?” Yunho was a bit curious.

 

“Why do you want to know about that?” Changmin was concentrated on the road, didn’t glance even once to the man beside him.

 

“Well… just wondering.” Yunho was still looking at Changmin’s right side. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

 

“I thought you had my profile.”

 

 _Shit_. Yunho did have. “I’m more interested in the real person. Aren’t you?”

 

“Nothing different.”

 

Yunho gave a slow hum before he finally looked away. He didn’t know what his life would be with this kind of man. From the outside, surely Changmin was attractive. But his personality killed his look. It wasn’t bad, no. It was just… boring. Boring.

 

Sighing, Yunho checked his phone.

 

_Oppaaa~~ how’s d blind date? Tell me ASAP!!_

_From: Pretty Minah >.<_

 

Minah must’ve changed her contact name in Yunho’s phone again.

 

_Nothing to be told about :l_

_This guy is as plain as a paper -_-_

_I’m going back to the academy N.O.W_

_Send to: Pretty Minah >.<_

Not long after, his phone rang. Minah called him.

 

“Oppaa! How is it? Hahahaha… where are you now?” Minah asked him straightly.

 

“I’m on my way to the academy.” Yunho answered, aware of Changmin beside him, tried to answer more carefully.

 

“So how is he? Is he really handsome like your mom said? Tell me!” Minah’s cheerful voice contrasted with Yunho’s gloomy one.

 

“Yes,” Yunho stole a peek to Changmin without turning his hand. “Okay. I’ll see you later.” He disconnected the call and texted Siwon.

 

_I’m in the car w him so don’t call!!!!_

_Send to: Pretty Minah >.<_

Not long after, they arrived and Changmin suggested them to exchanged phone numbers.

 

Changmin typed in his phone and Yunho felt happy for no reason.

 

“Yunho-sshi… there’s a message from… Pretty Minah?” Changmin said as he showed Yunho’s phone monitor to the owner.

 

“Oh!” Yunho quickly grabbed his phone from Changmin’s hold and close the message. “Hehehe… she’s just…”

 

“Your girlfriend?” Changmin asked.

 

“Well…” Yunho returned his phone to Changmin’s hand to let the younger man typed. “That’s not written in my profile?” he smirked.

 

Changmin smiled. His eyes got mismatched and his smile was… beautiful. “Here you go.” He still had this playful grin as he returned the phone.

 

“I will see you again?” Yunho asked as he got off the car.

 

“I guess…” Changmin smiled.

 

It was more like a little twitch on his wide lips but Yunho would interpret it as a smile. It was a good one too, anyway. So he smiled back.

 

“Thanks for the ride, then.” Yunho waved as the car went, and felt stupid with his hanging hand afterwards.

_Here’s my number._

_Yunho :)_

_Send to: Shim Changmin_

 

*

 

Changmin continued driving. He unconsciously stopped in front of an apartment building. His hand was still gripping the steer, but he didn’t know whether he just got in… or just…

 

 

“I love you,” Changmin whispered.

 

Sunyoung just smiled, gently caressed his cheek with the back of her soft hand.

 

“I mean it.” Changmin looked at her.

 

“You’re too young, Changmin.” She was still smiling.

 

Changmin got up from the bed and sat, turned his bare back to her. “You always say that!”

 

Sunyoung got up as well. “Because it’s true.”

 

“I thought you were… different… you’re the only one who didn’t treat me like a kid!” Changmin almost yell in frustration.

 

“Because it’s true, Changmin,” Sunyoung moved closer and hugged the man from behind.

 

Changmin could feel her warm skin. And her smell. Her sweet flowery smell, reminded him of spring… a nice walk in a park with a lover, while the sun beamed through the leaves…

 

Sunyoung placed her head on Changmin shoulder, her body stuck to Changmin’s and her thin arms wrapped around the man’s strong shoulder and waist. “You are not a kid, but you are still young, Changmin. At your age, there are many things that you can do… it’s the time when you discover what you want in your life.”

 

Changmin covered her arms with his. “I want to do it with you.”

 

Sunyoung let out a little chuckle, her breath warm on Changmin’s neck. “Okay, then.”

 

Changmin turned his face and kissed her deeply, gently pushed her to bed.

 

 

_Where are you now?_

Changmin was longing for her soft touch, her long black hair that tickles his skin, her elegant smile… everything about her. He took his phone and decided to call her.

 

“Hello?”

 

Changmin didn’t expect she would answer that fast. He remembered her voice.

 

“Hello? Who is this?”

 

Changmin missed her. A lot.

 

“Hello? Hello?”

 

Changmin took a deep breath. “Nuna? This is Changmin.” His heart almost stop beating.

 

She didn’t answer rightaway. “Oh. Changmin…”

 

Changmin could feel that she was nervous too.

 

“It’s been a long time, isn’t it?”

 

He let out a nervous laugh. “It is. How are you Nuna?”

 

“I’m fine, Changmin. How about you? I heard you’re back to Korea?” Sunyoung asked.

 

“Yes. Yes I am.” Changmin bit his lip. _I miss you_. “Nuna, can we meet?”

 

“I’m sorry Changmin,” Sunyoung said.

 

Changmin wanted to slap himself.

 

“I can’t now.” She quickly added.

 

“Later, then?” Changmin asked hopefully.

 

“Sure,” Sunyong replied.

 

“I wonder if… you still stay at your old apartment?”

 

“No, Changmin… I moved six months ago…”

 

“Ah… of course.” Changmin looked up at the building beside him. It was a pity. He had so much memory there. “Okay, so… I will text you, then?”

 

“I’d like that.” Sunyoung said.

 

“See you, Nuna.”

 

“Bye, Changmin.”

 

“Wait- Nuna,” _I really miss you_.

  
The call was already disconnected.

 

*

 

“Oppaa! How is the date? Tell me tell me!” Minah asked as they met.

 

Yunho always felt positive energy from this young girl. Her cute face and cheerful personality made everybody liked her.

 

“Minah, aren’t you suppose to be home now? Don’t you have homework or test?” Yunho smiled as he ignored the girl, kept watching the students train.

 

Minah sat next to Yunho. “Oppa~ why don’t you tell me?” she pouted. “Do you like him?”

 

“I’m teaching right now… let’s talk later.” Yunho said.

 

Minah tsked. “But I have to go home soon… Siwon Oppa will-“

 

“Minah! Stop bugging Yunho!” a familiar voice heard.

 

“See?” Minah smacked Yunho’s shoulder. “Oppa, I’m just talking to Yunho Oppa…”

 

“Minah, let’s go home now.” Siwon said as he took his sister’s hand.

 

“Oppa, let me stay for a while…” Minah whined.

 

Siwon sighed. “Minah!”

 

“Oppa! Why are you picking me up anyway! I’m not a little girl anymore! I can go home by myself…”

 

“Oh, Yunho, I just rememberd. Mrs Jung asked you to go home earlier today.” Siwon said to Yunho.

 

“Of course, Siwon. Thank you.” Yunho smiled to Siwon.

 

“Your welcome.” Siwon said to Yunho. “Minah, come on, hurry up! Oppa still have something to do!” Siwon pulled Minah’s hand.

 

Yunho chuckled as he say Minah being dragged by Siwon, mumbled how her Oppa should do what he should do and she would do anything she would do.

 

“Oppa!! Text me later, okay!! Don’t forget, Oppa!” Minah shout from the door. “See you tomorrow, Yunho Oppa!” she waved.

 

“Aish… that girl…” Yoochun sat next to Yunho, the place filled by Minah before. “I’ve told you she likes you!”

 

“She’s just a girl.” Yunho replied.

 

“It just makes it harder, Hyung.” Yoochun gulped his water. “Her feelings is complicated during that age.”

 

“She’s just a little sister to me.”

 

Yoochun gave him a look. “By the way, what’s this date she kept talking about?” he smirked and lifted his eyebrow teasingly.

 

“Yah, get back to work!” Yunho smacked Yoochun’s head.

 

“Yes, teacher!”

 

*

 

So Mrs Jung wanted Yunho to be home early because “Tomorrow the Shim will join us for breakfast, son.”

 

“Breakfast?” Yunho couldn’t understand it. “Why. Breakfast?”

 

“During the day, your father and Shim Ingeun are going to have a meeting… or something like that. They’ll go together.”

 

“Oh.”

 

The thought of meeting Changmin the next morning made Yunho felt nervous it was hard to sleep. And it made him woke up late the next day.

 

“Oppa, why don’t you wake up already?” Jihye tapped his shoulder.

 

Yunho was still adapting to the real life from his dreamland. “Wha- what..?” he glanced to the clock. “Shit! Why Umma didn’t wake me up?!” he threw the blanket off his body and got up quickly.

 

“She’s busy in the kitchen.”

 

When Yunho came down from his room, Shim’s family was already there. Mr Shim Ingeun and her beautiful wife, who had a beautiful daughter who looked just like her. She looked glamorous and elegant, didn’t smile as much but maybe that was her appeal.

 

And maybe, Changmin’s too.

 

Changmin was also there, wearing crème suit and her hair unstyled, fell down to his forehead and it looked so soft. Yunho wanted to test it, ran his fingers through it. Yunho just wore a black cashmere turtleneck and he hoped he wasn’t underdressed. His father wore a suit too, but it was because he had a meeting to attend.

 

Shim Ingeun was quite nice, Yunho thought. His handshake was strong and warm. He talked more than the rest of his family member, fortunately. Yunho liked him. He saw the politician some times on the tv, and according to Siwon, this guy was “A good man, and honest too. That’s the most important thing.”

 

Yunho sat next to her sister, in front of him were Changmin with her sister.

 

“Since Yuri and Jihye are the same age, I hope you two can be friends,” Mrs Jung smiled.

 

Yuri was a beautiful woman, looked more mature than Jihye. Her skin was quite tan, like her brother. Her brown hair was wavy and fell to his shoulder. She actually looked a lot like her Oppa, Yuri’s eyes and nose were like Changmin’s. She wore pearl necklace and Yunho thought that the Shim’s family looked like a family from a rich kingdom.

 

The conversation was dominated by the fathers, considered Mrs Shim wasn’t fan of talking herself, let Mrs Jung a bit disappointed.

 

“So, Changmin-sshi, do you have any plan for today?” Mrs Jung asked.

 

Changmin wiped his lips with the napkin. “No, Mrs Jung.”

 

“Do you want to go to the academy with Yunho? Maybe you can look around… or go somewhere together?” Mrs Jung asked again.

 

“That’s a good idea!” Mr Shim replied.

 

Yunho stole a glance to Changmin, who was chewing his scrambled egg with such a good manner. When Changmin looked up, Yunho quickly pretended to be busy with his sausage.

 

“Okay,” came Changmin short reply.

 

Yunho looked up.

 

“If that’s okay with Yunho-sshi.” Changmin added.

 

“I’m… I’m…” the meat was still in Yunho’s mouth.

 

“Of course it is! Yunho will be glad to!” Mrs Jung replied.

 

When Yunho excused himself to take his bag in his room, Jihye followed him.

 

“I don’t like her.” She sat on Yunho’s bed.

 

“Mrs Shim?” Yunho took his wallet and his phone from the table.

 

“Her daughter.” Jihye said. “She looks down to people!”

 

Yunho chuckled. Well, he agreed. Yuri looked arrogant, but he didn’t say it out loud. “What about her brother, then?”

 

Jihye sighed. “A little better, I guess. How could I know if they didn’t even say a word?”

 

Yunho lifted his shoulders. “Gotta leave now. Be a good girl at home,” Yunho patted Jihye’s head. “And be friends with Shim Yuri.” He winked.

 

“Oppa!”

 

Yunho and Changmin would use the Shim’s car, while Mr Jung and Mr Shim would go to the meeting with Mr Jung’s car. Mrs Shim would stay for a while, she seemed to be interested in Mrs Jung’s flower garden. And it left Yuri with-

 

“I can go to the meeting with you, Father.” Yuri said.

 

“Just stay here with your mother, Yuri.” Mr Shim straightened his tie.

 

“But I can-“ Yuri walked closer to his father from behind.

 

“I told you to stay.” Mr Shim said in a firm tone, he didn’t even look at her, but just turn his face a bit.

 

Yuri looked down and mumbled a quiet yes.

 

“Yuri can come with us, then?” Yunho asked. Because the girl looked so down and it pitied Yunho somehow.

 

“No, thank you.” Yuri answered. “I can go home by myself.”

 

Yunho looked at Changmin, but the Oppa didn’t feel guilty for his younger sister anyway. “Going now?”

 

“Wait. I’m gonna asked Siwon to drive you.” Yunho said, before left to another room to find Siwon.

 

“Oppa, just let her be!” Jihye followed her. “Why you have to trouble Siwon for- ah, hello, Siwon-sshi.” Jihye bowed to Siwon shyly.

 

“Hello, Jihye-sshi.” Siwon replied Jihye’s greeting.

 

“Siwon, are you busy now? Can you drive Mr Shim’s daughter back to her place?” Yunho asked.

 

“Oh, of course. Mr Jung doesn’t need me to go to the meeting?” Siwon walked together to the livingroom with Yunho.

 

“No. Mr Shim’s driver would drive.” Yunho replied.

 

*

 

“Your sister is very pretty.” Yunho said. They were on the way to the academy.

 

“Your sister looks like you.” Changmin replied.

 

 _He didn’t say Jihye was pretty_ , Yunho thought. Well, this man didn’t sugarcoat his words, then. “Yours too.”

 

“So I am pretty?” Changmin snorted.

 

“Well- that’s-“ Yunho didn’t mean to offense Changmin.

 

“It’s okay. They say I’m a pretty boy back in America.” Changmin replied.

 

“Really?” Yunho felt a bit relaxed. “Many Koreans when you were studying in America?”

 

“Only me.” Changmin shrugged.

 

“Your sister is in college, right? What is she studying?” Yunho asked.

 

“Politics.”

 

“Oh? Just like your father.”

 

“She is.” Changmin nodded. “What about yours?”

 

“Graduated, she didn’t continue her studies, though. Stay home with my mother.” Yunho answered.

 

Changmin hummed in reply, and Yunho felt a bit glad that Changmin at least would reply his questions.

 

“Changmin-sshi, there’s a very nice bubble tea shop over there. Do you want to try?” Yunho asked as he pointed a direction with his finger.

 

“Bubble tea?” Changmin looked at the direction.

 

Yunho nodded in anticipation. “Do you like it?”

 

“I haven’t had it for years.” Changmin replied. “You wanna go there?”

 

“If that’s okay.”

 

Changmin drove to the shop and parked it. The shop was quite small, so after bought a Lavender Vanilla flavored for himself, he recommended the Hazelnut Milk for Changmin. Yunho paid, in exchanged of the coffee Changmin paid before. They drank it in the car afterwards.

 

“Do you want to try mine?” Yunho asked.

 

Changmin looked a bit hesitant at first, but he said, “Sure.” He then gave Yunho his drink.

 

Yunho waited until Changmin drank his bubble milk until he let himself drank Changmin’s. He childishly thought it was indirect kiss. His eyes followed Changmin’s lips sucking the straw where Yunho’s mouth wrapped around before. And he needed to clear his mind because he started to adore Changmin’s mouth too much.

 

“I think mine tastes better.” Changmin said as he returned Yunho’s cup, chewing the tapioca balls.

 

Yunho thought so too. Maybe because the drink was Changmin’s. Because the straw was used by the taller man and somehow it added the sweet taste to the bubble milk.

 

*

 

During lunch, Minah saw them together. Yunho couldn’t help but introduced them to each other.

 

“Hello, nice to meet you,” Minah bowed to Changmin.

 

“Changmin-ah, this is Choi Minah. She’s one of my junior here.” Yunho said.

 

Changmin stood up from his seat. “Nice to meet you,”

 

Minah smiled and bit her lower lip. “Um… I’m sorry to disturb. Please continue your meal, Oppa.”

 

“See you, Minah.”

 

Minah smiled to them and left them alone.

 

“She is Choi Siwon’s sister. You know, Siwon was the one I asked to drive your sister home.” Yunho said.

 

Changmin nodded and continued to eat.

 

“Oh, I wonder if she’s home already? Should I ask Siwon?”

 

“It’s okay. She’s can do well on her own.” Changmin replied.

 

Yunho didn’t say anything. So, being cold and inconsiderate to his surroundings was Changmin’s nature after all? Yunho thought that Changmin didn’t even take care of his younger sister that much? What about Yunho then, who wasn’t Changmin’s family member at all?

 

*

 

Changmin arrived earlier, due to his nervousness. He thought he should’ve styled his hair, or maybe wore the tie, made himself looked more… _mature._

“Ordering now, Sir?” a waiter with neat and sleek suit (and Changmin kinda regretted that the waiter looked better than him) came to him, poured another glass of water.

 

“Later,” Changmin said.

 

“Very well.” The waiter bowed, and left.

 

Changmin looked at his watch. It was 8 already, but she hadn’t arrived yet. He sighed and looked at the menu. He wanted to pee but what if she arrived when he wasn’t there? He let out his phone and checked the time again. Thirty minutes had passed. Was she coming or not? Should Changmin call her?

 

An hour has passed and the waiter had came to him twice.

 

“I’ll call you if I want to order.” Changmin was quite irritated.

 

“Changmin?”

 

Changmin almost fell from his chair when he heard that voice. He quickly turned around and there she was. Wore a white coat, her hair tied into a ponytail and she looked pretty as ever. “Ah, Nuna… you’re here?” he quickly pulled the chair for her.

 

“Thank you,” Sunyoung sat and looked up to the man behind him.

 

Changmin’s heart skipped a beat when a pair of those beautiful eyes stared at him. He let himself leaned down a bit more, just to smell her scent he missed so much.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late, Changmin-ah. You know, the traffic was really crazy during this hour… and I was kinda lost… so…”

 

“It’s… it’s okay, Nuna…” Changmin looked down, saw her made him felt nervous.

 

“Changmin-ah,” Sunyoung’s delicate hand touched his.

 

Changmin looked up.

 

“You’re not angry, right?”

 

How could he be? “Of course not. It’s fine, Nuna.” Changmin covered her hand with his and smiled.

 

Sunyoung smiled back at her and Changmin thought that his life was so wonderful then. And when she pulled back her hand, Changmin was really disappointed. He wanted their skin touched, as much, as long as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

“Marriage?”

 

Mrs Jung nodded. “How about it son? You’re almost 30… shouldn’t you think about marriage soon?”

 

“Well…” Yunho _did_ think about that. Several times. Whether it’d be a man, or woman, he knew he’d give all he had to his partner. All of his life, all of his love…

 

“The Shim’s are really good, aren’t they, Jihye?” Mrs Jung looked at her daughter.

 

Jihye looked up from her stitching. “Really, Umma?” she asked sarcastically.

 

“Mrs Shim didn’t talk as much, but she’s a nice lady, indeed.” Mrs Jung slurped her tea.

 

Jihye sighed and continued her work.

 

“What about Shim Changmin, son?” Mrs Jung asked to Yunho.

 

“He is…” Yunho played with his cup of tea. He actually didn’t know about Changmin that much. Maybe not at all. Yunho wanted someone he could talk to, who was humorous, liked to laugh and smiled, at least. Someone who asked how his day was, what he’d like to eat, to do for their date. Someone who would hold his hand during a walk in a park, someone who let him laid his head on his lap. Someone who cared about him, his family…

 

Changmin just… didn’t seem to be like that kind of guy. He even didn’t care about his sister.

 

“Well, Yunho, do you have someone else in mind, then?” Mrs Jung asked cautiously.

 

“No, it’s not it.” Yunho put his cup to the table.

 

“Then?” Mrs Jung asked curiously.

 

Yunho didn’t answer.

 

“Ahh, Oppa, if you don’t like him, just say it!” Jihye said impatiently.

 

“Changmin is a nice guy!” Yunho replied quickly. He didn’t like it when someone badmouthed about Changmin.

 

Jihye rolled her eyes.

 

“Well, just think about it then, son.”

 

*

 

Changmin looked down to her, every strand of her pretty eyelashes, every line of her face became evident after her makeup erased because of the sweat from their previous love making.

 

“Why are you not sleeping?” Sunyoung asked, though her eyes were closed.

 

Changmin smiled and hugged her tighter. “How do you know?”

 

“I can feel your eyes on me.” She whispered.

 

Changmin didn’t answer, he just let his brain to feel every touch, the feeling of her hand on his hip, how her hair tickles his shoulder, and the way her breath felt on his chest. He put them inside his memory, wanted to keep the moment forever to last.

 

“Changmin…” she opened her tired eyes. “Stop it.”

 

“Stop what?” Changmin grinned, his thumb touched the spot where her lipstick smeared faintly to her cheek.

 

“Seeing me like that.” Sunyoung said. “You embarrassed me.”

 

“You look lovely.” Changmin said. _Nothing could look better than you_.

 

“I look horrible,” Sunyoung hid her face in Changmin’s chest. “My wrinkles just-“

 

“No, no…” Changmin lower himself to see her eye to eye. “You look gorgeous. Why you think otherwise?”

 

“I’m 40 already, Changmin.” Sunyoung looked him in the eye.

 

“A really pretty 40 year old.”

 

“I’m 46. Stop talking sweet to me.” Sunyoung put her finger in front of Changmin’s lips, prevented him from talking anything more.

 

“You are a sweet woman,” Changmin let her finger slipped to his mouth. “And taste sweet too.” He bit it playfully.

 

Sunyoung pulled her finger out and chuckled. “Sleep now.”

 

“Okay,” Changmin pressed one last kiss to her forehead.

 

*

 

Yunho didn’t know Changmin would pick him up that evening in the academy.

 

“You shouldn’t do this. I can go home by myself.” Yunho said as he put on the seatbelt.

 

“It’s okay. I’m on my way from the college too.”

 

But Yunho knew Mrs Jung asked him to, because his mother texted him earlier not to go home because Changmin was on his way there.

 

Yunho hated the silence between them, so he decided to say it. “Changmin-sshi…”

 

Changmin hummed in response, eyes were still on the road.

 

“Do you… by any chance know that… we’re going to get married?”

 

Yunho shouldn’t say it like that. Or better, he shouldn’t say anything at all. But this thought had bothered him all day, since her mother told him about it.

 

Changmin almost crashed the car to the taxi in front of them. But he stayed calm, tried hard to look like nothing happened just surprised his mind.

 

“I’m sorry! Really! It’s just my mother…” Yunho mumbled his apologies. “Sorry. It’s just silly. Forget it.”

 

“My father said it before our first met.” Changmin replied.

 

Yunho’s eyes widened. “He did?”

 

Changmin sighed. “I thought you knew.”

 

“I… I…” Yunho didn’t know what to say.

 

“So what did your mother say about it?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho didn’t expect Changmin would be… this relaxed. “She… just… asked. If I ever thought about it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

 _That’s all?_ Yunho thought Changmin would say something, anything about that, but a simple _Oh_ just came out. Was Changmin wanted the marriage? Or not? Did he have a lover? He would just accept Yunho, just like that?

 

Why didn’t this man say anything? He looked fine, but Yunho’s world was upside down since he met this man. It was unfair.

 

“We’re arrived.” Changmin stopped the car in front of Yunho’s car.

 

“Thanks for the ride.” Yunho took off the seatbelt and got out from the car. He opened the gate and the door, didn’t look back even once.

 

“Yunho dear, Changmin drives you here?” Mrs Jung asked.

 

“Yes.” Yunho took off his shoes.

 

“Why didn’t you ask him to come in? Is he still outside?”

 

“I’m going to my room.” Yunho went upstairs and locked his door. When he heard Jihye knocked his door and asked him out for dinner, he didn’t answer. Let them thought that he slept already.

 

*

 

Changmin stayed for a bit more in the darkness of the garage in his house. He knew he was going to marry the Jung’s son. His father told him that. He never refused his father offer, only once, when Changmin wanted to go abroad to study music. His father, surprisingly, said yes. After a long arguing, after he left home for a week, after his mother didn’t speak to both of them.

 

When he was lonely in the foreign country, when people looked down to him just because he was difference, his eyes weren’t blue or green, his hair wasn’t blond, he just different. He thought that his father was right. He should just stay back home, did whatever his father told him too.

 

That was the time when he met An Sunyoung. Someone who made his regret became hope, someone who made his life worth. They had been together for years. And Changmin wondered if it was possible, that everytime he saw her, the more he wanted her, the more he loved her.

 

It was until Sunyoung left her, without saying a word. Changmin was desperate, angry, he thought his life was over. His first love abandoned him, what should he do?

 

But now that they met again… how could he say everything between them was over?

 

*

 

They met again in the Jung’s living room, this time felt a bit more comfortable. Yunho sat beside Changmin this time, regretted his choice because now he was too conscious of the move he or Changmin made.

 

“What about engagement, then? If marriage is too early.” Mrs Shim said.

 

“That’s a nice idea! Isn’t it, dear?” Mrs Jung said, and Mr Jung just nodded away.

 

They talked and talked. Yunho wondered if someone beside him realized that Yuri excused herself to go out. He wanted to go too, but he didn’t want to be rude. The engagement plan was for him after all, how could he leave?

 

Changmin didn’t say anything at all, and Yunho wondered if the man was still alive. Noticing the rise and fall of his breath, Yunho knew that Changmin wasn’t dead yet.

 

“What about next week?”

“Isn’t it too early?”

“Well, it’s just an engagement, anyway.”

“Two weeks, then.”

 

Then, it was somehow decided.

 

When the maid put on the snacks and tea, Mr Jung and Mr Shim talked about shit Yunho didn’t understand and their wives were gossiping, Yunho thought that it was fine to go outside.

 

He walked to the garden and took a deep breath. But he wasn’t the only person there.

 

“Oh, Yuri-sshi,” Yunho realized Yuri was there.

 

With Siwon, who looked a bit flustered when he realized Yunho caught them together. It felt awkward, and Yunho excused himself.

 

“Oh, no Yunho. Just stay. I have… something…” Siwon mumbled and cleared his throat.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Yunho hated the fact that this couple seemed to be more compatible than him and Changmin. “I just needed some fresh air. I’m going inside anyway.” He turned and walked, as slow as possible ~~, because he wanted to eavesdrop~~.

 

Not long after, Yuri followed him inside, back to her position, sat next to her mother. Looked more relaxed than before and Yunho wondered if Siwon helped.

 

When the Shims were going home, Yunho managed to get him and Changmin both alone.

 

“Are you okay with this?” Yunho asked quietly.

 

“What do you mean?” Changmin asked.

 

“You didn’t say anything about the… engagement.” Yunho said.

 

“Well, do you?”

 

Yunho hated how Changmin always asked him back the questions. “I don’t mind with it.” He said honestly. “But if you have any problem with that, you can say it. You’re a big man and you can make your own decision.”

 

Changmin didn’t answer rightaway. “You’re right, I’m a big man.” He said. “And the decision that had been made for me, I’ll take the responsible for it. Goodnight, Yunho-sshi.”

 

That wasn’t the answer Yunho wanted. He wanted to know if _Changmin wanted_ to marry him, or not.

 

But it was too late. The broad back of the taller man had left him.

 

*

 

Yunho didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry when he found out that they rented an apartment for him and Changmin.

 

“We try to make you two closer, Yun-ah… to make you easier to… how should I say it… fall in love with him.” Mrs Jung explained.

 

The thing was, it was _Changmin_ who should fall in love with him. Yunho was-

 

Wait.

 

Yunho slapped himself. It wasn’t like he already loved the younger man! It was just… that… that Changmin was harder to fall in love with someone than Yunho.

 

Siwon helped Yunho to move his things to the apartment. There were boxes belonged to Changmin, unopened and left near the entrance door.

 

“Should I move these too?” Siwon asked.

 

“Don’t!” Yunho quickly said. “I mean, we don’t know what he wanted to do with it anyway.”

 

There was only one bedroom with king size bed.

 

Now Yunho knew he should definitely cry.

 

“How is this Shim’s son, anyway?” Siwon asked as he put Yunho’s empty suitcase on top of the cupboard.

 

“I have no idea.” Yunho sighed as spread the rug.

 

“Really? Cause I thought you’re already like him.” Siwon teased him.

 

Yunho gave Siwon a look. “What’s with you and the Shim’s daughter anyway, huh?”

 

Siwon’s toe hit the table and he cursed.

 

Yunho laughed. “She’s that pretty, yeah?”

 

“She’s smart. And charming.”

 

“Ah… you’re in love with her already.” Yunho grinned.

 

“Envy me because you’re the one who supposed to be in love here, huh?” Siwon smirked.

 

Yunho threw the cushion to his face.

 

*

 

After school, Changmin visited Sunyoung’s apartment, brought a bottle of wine he knew she liked so much.

 

“Although I’m glad you’re here…” Sunyoung said as she poured a glass for Changmin. “Is it okay?”

 

“What?” Changmin’s sense filled with the aroma of the wine.

 

“I heard about you and the general’s son, you know.” Sunyoung sat on the table, next to Changmin’s glass. “It’s on the news too.”

 

Changmin felt lucky he didn’t drink the wine yet, he might’ve chocked if he did. “Oh. That.” He himself thought that it was a stupid reply.

 

“What about that?” Sunyoung grinned and put her feet on Changmin’s lap.

 

Changmin’s hand snaked over her calf.

 

“Changmin,” she pushed Changmin’s chest lightly with her toes.

 

Changmin sat back and smiled up to her. “What did you hear?”

 

“That you and him are together, make a great way for your father in the election.” Sunyoung said.

 

Changmin held her tiny ankles. “It’s true, then.”

 

“That you and him together?”

 

Changmin massaged her foot gently, refused to give any answer.

 

“It’s alright, you know.” Sunyoung sighed in contentment. “You can tell me.”

 

Changmin knew. And he hated that Sunyoung was fine with it.

 

“Changmin, look at me.” Sunyoung leaned down and put her hand on Changmin’s shoulder. “Look at me,” she repeated when Changmin looked away.

 

Changmin held her when Sunyoung moved to sit on his lap, hid his face on her shoulder. He wanted her to know that he loved her. And Changmin wanted to Sunyoung felt it instead. Hell, she should’ve known how Changmin felt towards her. But why, why didn’t she say anything?

 

Sunyoung’s phone vibrated on the wooden table. She pulled herself out of Changmin’s embrace and went for it.

 

“Hello?” she answered the phone. “Yes…”

 

Sunyoung went further to her room and closed the door and Changmin wondered if he was on the wrong place at the wrong time. His thoughts answered when Sunyoung got out from her room not long after.

 

“Changmin, I have to go now.”

 

Changmin wanted to know if he could stay and waited for her. And when she came back, they could talk. Changmin would explain to her. And maybe, maybe, he would ask her, to ask him to stay with her, to cancel the engagement.

 

Sunyoung looked at him warily. “You should go too.”

 

*

 

It wasn’t as awkward as Yunho thought. Maybe they had gotten used to each other. Though Yunho almost threw the bowl of yoghurt in his hand when Changmin came in. Not that lucky though, he threw his spoon accidentally.

 

“Oh. You’re here.” Changmin said as he realized Yunho’s existence.

 

“Yes.” Yunho took the fallen spoon from the floor. _Sorry to disappoint you._ “You’re… gonna stay?” what a dumb question.

 

“Yes.” Changmin gave Yunho a strange look. “Are you?”

 

“Yeah.” Yunho bit his lip. “My mom asked me too.”

 

Changmin sighed. “Mine too.” He lifted his boxes.

 

“Do you want help with that?” Yunho stood up and walked closer to Changmin.

 

“No. Well just… that one, please put that in the bedroom, Yunho-sshi.” Changmin pointed one big box, while he was busy in the kitchen.

 

Yunho looked at that box. How could Changmin ask him to carry that huge box! He knew the younger guy was cold, but heartless? Huh, he should’ve known better! Yunho lifted the big box, which was actually as heavy as… a feather.

 

“Blanket. A present from my mother.” Changmin said as he opened one box.

 

“Oh.” Yunho cursed his damned thoughts. “No wonder it’s so… light.”

 

Changmin didn’t answer, so Yunho just walked to the bedroom. The room was not that small, but just enough space for a couple. A king size bed, closet, and bedside table with cupboards. There was a dressing table near the window.

 

Yunho put the box on the floor and opened it. He wondered if he should put the blanket on the bed? Or… oh look at that, there were a couple of comfy pillows too.

 

Both men didn’t say anything else, until it was the time to sleep.

 

“It’s okay. You can… take the bed, Changmin-sshi.” Yunho should’ve brought his own blanket and pillow! How could he forget!

 

“No, I don’t mind.” Changmin said, as they stood in front of the empty bed. “It’s enough space for both of us. Is that okay with you, Yunho-sshi?”

 

“Alright.” Yunho nodded stiffly.

 

They brushed their tooth together and washed their face. Yunho was the first to get in the bed. It felt so nice and comfortable, but that was the first time he shared a bed with a stranger. Well, Changmin was basically stranger to him, though they had met several times and was going to get married, Yunho didn’t know Changmin better than a stranger.

 

The light turned off and Changmin slipped beside him, and Yunho couldn’t move. He turned to the right side, let his back faced Changmin. After a quite long time, he could hear Changmin’s breath, and if his hand moved to his left a bit, he could feel Changmin’s body heat, which was what he did. Just because.

 

He couldn’t sleep and it was hard to keep his eyes closed. And when he finally fell aslept, Yunho jerked awake. Maybe he wasn’t gotten used to the bed. The new environment. The person beside him.

 

When he opened his eyes, his limbs sprawled uncharacteristically here and there, took a big portion of the bed and pushed Changmin away to the very end of the bed. Yunho just realized he had his left thigh on Changmin’s legs, and his arm stretched on Changmin’s chest.

  
Feeling ashamed, Yunho quickly retreated to his place, took the neglected blanket which already fell on the floor, put it to cover Changmin’s gorgeous body (Changmin didn’t wear any top so Yunho was kinda staring when he realized this fact), and left the room.

 

It was 3 am. Yunho sat on the couch and hugged the cushion. He wore extra sweater and finally fell asleep.

 

*

 

After shower, Yunho could hear Changmin’s faint voice from the bedroom. The door was opened a bit, and he couldn’t help but heard his words.

 

“Okay, Nuna. Just tell me when we can meet again.”

 

_Nuna? Meet… again?_

“I love you.”

 

Yunho’s heart dropped from its socket.

 

“That’s the way I feel, that’s why I’m telling you.” Changmin added in a soft voice.

 

Yunho knew he should’ve left. He shouldn’t listen to Changmin’s sweet confession, but somehow his brain couldn’t instruct his body to move.

 

“No, you’re the one who doesn’t understand. Nuna, I loved you back then, and now, I still do. Why don’t you believe me?” Changmin sounded frustrated.

 

Yunho’s fist clenched. He needed to hold onto something.

 

“Just- just…” Changmin sighed. “I will see you, okay? And we will talk.”

 

Yunho quickly retreated to the bathroom, closed the door quietly and locked it. He was still gripping the door handle when his head spin.

 

Why didn’t Changmin tell anybody that he already had someone… why? He had Yunho in his hand, but he had somebody else in his heart? What did that make Yunho then? Yunho could feel a strange punch in his gut. What was that? Anger? Disappointment?

 

Betrayed?

 

“Yunho-sshi?” Changmin knocked the bathroom door.

 

Yunho looked at the mirror to his miserable self. “Yes?”

 

“You’re still using the bathroom?”

 

“N… no.” Yunho stuttered. “Wait a sec.” he turned on the tap on the sink and splashed water to his face, before finally opened the door.

 

When Changmin was in the bathroom, Yunho wrote a note that he was leaving to the academy earlier. He didn’t need to, but he wanted to get away from the younger man as soon as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

They held the engagement party at Yunho’s house. There weren’t many guests, to Yunho’s likings, since his house wasn’t that big anyway.

 

Yunho looked at his reflection on the mirror. He wore cotton shirt and maroon suit. He tried his best not to look… _inadequate_ in front of people. Well, Changmin, particularly. The man had agreed to this engagement, and Yunho didn’t want to disappoint him.

 

“Omo, look at you…” Mrs Jung was on the door.

 

“Umma…”

 

“Oh Yunho, you look really handsome…” Mrs Jung put her hands on Yunho’s shoulder.

 

Yunho patted his mother’s hand.

 

Mrs Jung smiled through the mirror to him. “Please be happy, Yunho.”

 

Yunho was a bit afraid heard that word. _Happiness_.

 

Mrs Jung leaned to kiss his cheek. “Come on, son, the Shims are already here.”

 

Changmin was wearing sleek black suit with black shirt and golden necktie. He cut his hair shorter, it looked neater and made him looked really masculine. He was talking to someone Mr Jung just introduced him.

 

“Hey, Hyung,” Yoochun greeted him.

 

Yunho quickly turned his gaze away from Changmin. “Oh, Chun-ah… you’re here?”

 

“What, I’m not invited?” Yoochun narrowed his eyes. Mr Park, Yoochun’s father was one of Mr Jung’s alliances in military. Of course they were invited.

 

Yunho just laughed.

 

“Hyung, so where’s this Shim’s son you’re gonna married, huh?”

 

“There,” Yunho pointed to Changmin’s direction. “Oh, he’s talking to your father.”

 

“Oh, he’s gorgeous.” Yoochun commented as he saw Changmin.

 

“He is.” Yunho smiled.

 

“But does he like you?” Yoochun asked.

 

“What?”

 

Yoochun looked at Yunho. “Does he like you? Do you like him? Why are you getting engaged, then?”

 

Yunho should be able to answer that question. “Um, I gotta go for a while, Chun-ah. Sorry.” He walked through the crowding guests on the door, greeted one or two person he knew, before finally reached the garden, located at the back of the house, it was quite dark since there was no lighting. Lucky for Yunho, no one was there. He needed some fresh air. He needed to breathe.

 

Changmin was gorgeous. He was a good man, Yunho believed. But… he just not _him_. Not the one Yunho wanted. But he could, Changmin could be, and Yunho would change his mindset. He was willing to do that. But what about Changmin? Was he willing to do that as well? Would he try to learn, to love Yunho?

 

The answer was obvious.

 

No.

 

Changmin already had someone. Yunho knew that. But the younger man was doing a great job with his poker face on. It was somehow… hurt, knew that Changmin could be that… nice, kind, sweet… _loving_ , to someone, but not Yunho.

 

Yunho took a deep sigh, and tried to calm his mind.

 

“Oppa…”

 

Yunho startled and turned. “O- oh… Minah… what are you doing here?”

 

“Oppa, are you really… gonna marry that man?” Minah’s voice was small and unconfident, unlike her usual energetic voice.

 

“Minah, I just… have to do this, okay.” Yunho replied, tried to make her understand.

 

“But Oppa…” Minah slowly looked up at his eyes. “Do you love him?”

 

Yunho shrugged. He could see sadness in Minah’s teary eyes. “Minah…”

 

“Oppa, are you gonna be happy with him?” Minah asked again.

 

Yunho didn’t know what to do with the girl in front of him.

 

“But Oppa, I love you.” Came the innocent confession from the girl.

 

Yunho knew Minah had a crush on him, but… it still surprised him. “Listen, Minah-“

 

“Oppa, I know I shouldn’t say this,” Minah sobbed and wiped her tears from her cheek. “But I just want to let you know… that I can make you happy… I want you to know that… because maybe, maybe you will look at me as a woman…”

 

Minah was still a little sister in Yunho’s eyes.

 

“Minah! What are you doing here?” Siwon came to his little sister. “I’m sorry, Yunho. Minah, let’s leave.”

 

“No!” Minah yanked her hand away from Siwon. “Oppa! Stop treating me like a kid!”

 

“Choi Minah, you’re being childish right now! Don’t ashamed yourself in front of Yunho!” Siwon hissed.

 

“Why Oppa? Is loving someone is wrong? Is it shameful?! Why can’t I say it!” Minah cried as he pushed Siwon away.

 

“Minah, listen to me!” Siwon held Minah’s hand tighter.

 

“Stop it, Oppa, you’re hurting me!” Minah tried to break her brother’s hold.

 

“Siwon,” Yunho held Siwon’s hand. “Let go. It’s fine.”

 

Siwon stepped back. Minah cried harder and Yunho sighed. “Minah, don’t cry, okay?” he wiped her tears. “I’m getting engaged to Shim Changmin, and that is my decision. It doesn’t matter whether I love him or not, but I’m going to be his fiancé, and he will be mine.”

 

Siwon stood still, while Minah still let out pitiful sobs.

 

“Don’t cry. You are a beautiful girl, and in time, there will be men waiting in line for you.” Yunho held Minah’s face.

 

“But I want you, Oppa…” Minah muttered.

 

“I’m not for you. And you’re not for me. You will find someone who will treat you right and make you happy.” Yunho said. “Now listen to your Oppa, Minah. He has been taking care of you, don’t make it harder for him, okay?”

 

Minah was still crying quietly, but calmed a bit.

 

“Promise me you will be a nice girl to your Oppa, and listen to him well.” Yunho searched for Minah’s eyes. “Okay?”

 

Minah nodded a bit.

 

“Okay.” Yunho pulled Minah into a hug. “Thank you for loving me, Minah.” He let go of the hug. “Now go to your Oppa.”

 

Yunho looked as Siwon held Minah’s hand and went inside. And when he turned around, Changmin was there.

 

They exchanged gaze, nobody knew for how long, until finally Changmin spoke up. “Your mother told me to get you here.”

 

“She did?” Yunho broke the gaze as he walked to the door.

 

“Yes. We’re getting started.”

 

*

 

They gathered the guests, and Changmin didn’t know what and who was saying words. He could catch some like “perfect couple” and “look good together” or even that stupid naïve word: _love_.

 

His mind snapped back to reality when somebody called his name.

 

“Changmin, you can kiss him now.”

 

Changmin didn’t know who was talking. His mind wandered around, he could see faces in the crowd. Mr Park, a man Mr Jung introduced him before. Or Mrs Kim, his father’s old fried. Was that Yuri in the left? Changmin kinda thought he didn’t see her sister for a quite long time. And there was… who was that? Minah? Her face could be seen between tall shoulders of the men in front of him.

 

“Changmin?”

 

“No.” Changmin said. In his ear, it was like someone else was talking, not him.

 

“Son?” Mrs Shim touched his shoulder.

 

“We don’t have to.” Changmin looked at the man in front of him. Yunho’s hand was still in his, after they exchanged the gold ring. He couldn’t read Yunho’s expression.

 

“Right, Changmin-sshi. It’s not necessary.” Yunho pulled his hand from Changmin’s.

 

*

 

It was almost midnight when the newly engaged couple went back to their apartment. He could feel Changmin’s bare shoulder brushed against his when the younger man slipped under the bed.

 

“Do you hate me that much?” Yunho blurted out to the empty air.

 

Changmin stiffened, before he turned to face Yunho. “I don’t hate you.”

 

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” Yunho’s chest was heaving. He felt stupid saying it, but he couldn’t help but just let it all out. “Are you disgusted? Then why did you agree to the engagement?”

 

“I didn’t kiss you because Minah was there.” Changmin said after a deep sigh.

 

Yunho’s brain stopped working. “What..?”

 

“I didn’t kiss you because your little admirer was watching. What do you expect me to do, break her heart after you already did? You rejected her and you want me to kiss you in front of her?” Changmin used his left elbow as leverage to hold his upper body up, facing Yunho.

 

Yunho turned to see the man beside him quietly.

 

“If you want a kiss, I can give you one now.”

 

Yunho couldn’t see Changmin’s face clear enough in the darkness. But he could figure the outline of his jaw and nose. “You… saw her watching?”

 

“All teary eyes and sad face, yes I did.” Changmin acknowledged.

 

Fuck. Yunho didn’t expect that. So… Changmin saw Minah? Well, Yunho didn’t even think about that. Of course Minah was there. He didn’t know Changmin could be so… thoughtful. This man had a heart, huh, Yunho thought. He hated himself for his quick temper and being childish, how could he snap just like that to his fiancé?!

 

He could hear the blanket pulled and the bed shifted. Changmin was back to his lying position.

 

“I have to be at the campus at 8 tomorrow. Are you going to the academy?”

 

“Yes.” Yunho whispered.

 

“Okay. I’ll drive you there.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

*

 

Yunho sat on the back seat with Siwon next to him.

 

“Now your turn, Yunho!” Siwon said cheerfully. “Close your eyes… no peeking!”

 

Yunho giggled. “Okay, okay…” he closed his eyes.

 

“Now, guessed the number!” Siwon grinned.

 

“Hmm… four!”

 

“Daeng! Seven!” Siwon showed his seven fingers to Yunho.

 

“What are you guys playing?” Mr Choi asked as he drove.

 

“Try to guess the number, Mr Choi!” Yunho said. “It’s so hard. None of us had answer it right…”

 

Mr Choi laughed. “It’s easy, little boy. I can even do that while driving.”

 

“Appa, you lie! You lie!” Siwon pointed his fingers to his father.

 

“I can!” Mr Choi said. “Come on, test me.”

 

Yunho hummed. ”Okay. Now… how many fingers?!”

 

“Three!” Mr Choi answered.

 

“Appa, you’re correct!” Siwon said amazedly. “Now let me try. How many fingers?”

 

“Seven!” Mr Choi answered.

 

“Whoa, Mr Choi! Daebak!!” Yunho jumped in his seat. “Guessed mine again! How many, now?”

 

“Ahh… it’s seems a bit difficult now…” Mr Choi mumbled playfully, made the kids giggled. “One! Is that right, little Jung?”

 

“Oooohh, Appa, how can you guess them right?” Siwon asked.

 

Yunho looked to the front, and he caught Mr Choi’s eyes… in the rearview mirror. “Mr Choi! You’re cheating! You can see us from the mirror, right?”

 

Mr Choi just laughed.

 

“Come on, Siwon. Test Mr Choi again! I’ll cover his eyes.” Yunho moved closer on his seat, stretched his little arms to the driver’s seat.

 

“No, no, Yunho, I’m driving!” Mr Choi said as he held Yunho’s hand with his.

 

“Hurry Siwon!” Yunho said, as he made sure Mr Choi couldn’t see.

 

“Appa, how many fingers now?”

 

*

 

“…ho-sshi! Yunho-sshi!!”

 

Yunho jerked awoke, gasping for air. Cold sweat rolled his forehead and sideburns. He felt nauseous and his heart was beating like crazy.

 

The light on the bedside table turned on, illuminated Changmin’s worried eyes, looking at him.

 

It was so clear in his head. The blinding yellow light, before it turned red, then he fell to the pitch black. The car crash. It was because of him. He did it. He killed Mr Choi. He made Siwon and Minah lost their father.

 

“Yunho-sshi, are you okay?” Changmin asked concernedly, he sat up next to him, hand still on Yunho’s shoulder when he woke him up.

 

Yunho blinked several times and sat up.

 

“Do you need anything?” Changmin asked again.

 

“N… no.” Yunho couldn’t sleep again. Not after this. “I’ll… go outside. Sorry for bothering you.”

 

Yunho blamed his messed up thoughts and messed up brain and messed up life. It must be because the new things around him. Stupid pillow, stupid thick blanket and comfy bed, stupid man beside him, stupid apartment, and the stupidest was the engagement. Maybe because he wasn’t getting used to the new things around him so that the bad dreams came again.

 

Bad dream?

 

No. It was reality. He really killed Siwon’s father. He took their father and broke Minah’s heart. It wouldn’t be a surprise Siwon couldn’t forgive him. Because even Yunho could never forgive himself.

 

*

 

“You look miserable.” Yoochun said as he sat next to Yunho on the wooden floor.

 

“Can’t sleep last night.” Yunho yawned.

 

“Ooooh…” Yoochun smirked. “Did it feel nice?” he whispered in low greasy tone only Park Yoochun could do.

 

Yunho quickly pushed the man when he felt the hot air on his ear. “We did nothing!”

 

“Ohohoho~ of course, Hyung!” Yoochun patted Yunho’s shoulder. “Hyung, look, Minah…” he quietly pointed to the girl who was teaching a group of kids.

 

Yunho sighed.

 

“Hyung you make her like this.” Yoochun playfully blamed Yunho.

 

“Brat!” Yunho hit Yoochun’s head.

 

Yoochun laughed. “Hyung go cheer her up. I hate seeing her like that. Look, her lips turn down. It’s not pretty.”

 

“That’s not wise! How can I be the one cheering her up? You go.” Yunho nudged Yoochun’s shoulder.

 

“But-“

 

“Yah! Go!” Yunho pushed Yoochun to standing position before kicked his butt.

 

*

 

When Yunho opened the door, he heard sounds from the kitchen, something was being fried and the bubbling water boiled.

 

“Yunho-sshi?” Changmin was already at home.

 

“Oh? Changmin-sshi… you’re already here?” Yunho took off his shoes.

 

“Yeah, my class ended at 1. You finished early.” Changmin stood up several steps from Yunho.

 

Yunho hoped Changmin would move wherever that Yunho didn’t have to see his face. It was still embarrassing Changmin saw him like that last night. He took his time unlacing his shoes.

 

“You should’ve called me. I can pick you up from the academy.” Changmin walked back to the kitchen.

 

“It’s fine. I can take the bus.” Yunho followed slowly from behind. “You’re cooking?”

 

“Just for me, actually. I don’t know you’d be home early.” Changmin flipped something in the frying pan.

 

“Oh.” Yunho bit his lip. “It’s okay, I mean… you don’t have to cook for me.” Though Yunho felt a bit disappointed. Even though he wasn’t there yet, why couldn’t Changmin just cook for him too?

 

“Trust me, you won’t eat it.” Changmin turned off the stove. “I don’t cook well. It’s embarrassing but I unashamedly just cook as I like.”

 

Yunho felt a kind of relief. So Changmin didn’t want to cook for him because he wasn’t confident in his own cooking? “That bad?”

 

“You want to try?” Changmin asked, as he scooped a spoon of kimchi jiggae.

 

Yunho shifted closer as Changmin fed him and tasted it. “Well, it’s okay. I think it’s quite nice.”

 

“Ah, yeah, well. It’s the kimchi. My grandmother made it.” Changmin tried himself. “Hmm, it’s much better than my previous cooking.”

 

“I’m lucky, then.” Yunho let out a little laugh, which he quickly stopped. Didn’t want to offense the younger man.

 

But Changmin smiled. “You are.”

 

Yunho tried Changmin’s potato pancake, which was tasteless.

 

“Just say it, come on.” Changmin waited for Yunho’s comment.

 

Yunho munched some more. “Well… how do I say this… it’s…” he cleared his throat. “No flavour.”

 

Changmin didn’t look surprise. His expression was flat.

 

“It’s good enough, you know. Well, not that good, but not that bad either.” Yunho quickly added, ate another slice of pancake to show Changmin that it was taste alright.

 

Changmin gave a soft smile.

 

And Yunho almost droll.

 

“The rice is at least perfect.” Changmin said, as he turned and opened the lid of the rice cooker.

 

Yunho made two packs of ramyeon and ate Changmin’s cooking too, straight from the pot.

 

“My mother told us to buy the kitchenware ourselves. You know… together.”

 

“Sure.” Yunho took the ramyeon and put it on the table. “Tomorrow you free?” he asked. “Or… or I can buy them myself.” He quickly added.

 

“We can go.” Changmin said as he ate the ramyeon. “After I pick you up at the academy?”

 

“Perfect.”

 

*

 

“I’ll sleep outside.” Yunho said as he took his pillow out.

 

“Why?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho put his pillow on the couch. “Well. Just because…” he mumbled.

 

“You can take the bed.” Changmin said. “You’re the Hyung anyway.”

 

“No, really. It’s okay.” Yunho insisted, still didn’t want to look at Changmin.

 

Changmin didn’t say anything at first. “You were okay when we slept together at the first night. What’s bothering you?”

 

Yunho took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna bother you.”

 

“I don’t feel bothered. Well yes, beside the usual kicking and your long limbs stretched here and there.” Changmin’s words made Yunho’s blush. “But I don’t mind.”

 

“I just… Just-“ Yunho didn’t want to say it. “I don’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night with my stupid delirium.”

 

“Sleeping in cold weather increases the possibility of having nightmares.” Changmin stated. “Come inside.” He took Yunho’s pillow and brought it to the bedroom.

 

Yunho followed and sat on his side of bed.

 

“If you still want to sleep alone I can go.” Changmin said before he laid down.

 

“No, no.” Yunho quickly said. “You can… sleep here…” he muttered.

 

“Do you want to keep the light on?”

 

Yunho wanted to say that he wasn’t a little kid. But well, Changmin was being thoughtful, wasn’t he? “Turn it off.”

 

The lamp turned off and Yunho felt more nervous in the silence and darkness.

 

“Hey, you can… move closer if you’re afraid.” Changmin touched Yunho’s hand under the blanket.

 

“Um… okay.” Yunho shifted to Changmin, let the younger man held his hand. But what surprised him was, Changmin put his long arm under Yunho’s head, let the older man laid his head there before wrapped his other arm around Yunho’s body.

 

“This okay?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho could feel Changmin’s breath on his hair.

 

“You can sleep now?”

 

 _NO._ How could he, when he was facing Changmin’s bare muscular chest, his chocolate skin on display. He could smell it. Changmin’s musky soap and Changmin’s spicy scent and Yunho had a hard time breathing.

 

What Yunho didn’t know was, Changmin caught him staring. When he stole a glance up to see the younger man’s face, Changmin’s eyes were already on him.

 

“I… I’m…” Yunho shifted uncontrollably. When his half hard erection touched Changmin’s thigh, things couldn’t be worse.

 

 _Fuck_. Yunho knew he had to move away, stayed back on his own side of bed instead of cuddling in Changmin’s warmth. But his body wanted more friction against Changmin’s hard thigh. It felt so damn good and fuck he wanted to do it again! It wasn’t enough!

 

Yunho could feel a hand cupped his penis and… it hand rubbed his clothed erection once, twice, and Yunho’s brain could only scream for more, more! It had been too long he hadn’t got laid and fuck, when he realized the hand which was slipping inside his boxer was Changmin’s he had to grip whatever in his reach, held his lusted mind down so he wouldn’t came right then.

 

His left hand clawed Changmin’s shoulder while his right was around Changmin’s strong right arm, which was jerking him in a slow and nice rhythm, urging him to move faster. Changmin’s hand felt so good around him, not so soft but the texture made him wanted more. Changmin thumbed the head, smeared the precum and Yunho was moaning like an animal in heat.

 

“Ch- Changmin…” Yunho whined to Changmin’s skin when he felt the younger moved faster. His hand moved up and down, put more pressure and when he played with Yunho’s balls, Yunho let out a deep groan. “Almost…”

 

Changmin moved impossibly closer to his body, Yunho could feel heat all over him. When his cock twitched uncontrollably, Changmin’s pace was getting rougher and faster, he dragged his thumb on the slit, the other fingers was still around his hard dick and held it firmly, and Yunho lost it, shot his load to Changmin’s hand and muffled his scream to the man’s chest.

 

Through sleepy eyes, Yunho could see Changmin wiped his hand and Yunho’s crotch, pulled up his boxer and pants, and he didn’t know whether Changmin hugged him again in his sleep. Yunho felt tired but somehow felt warm and content, just let the sleep overcame him.

 

*

 

Yunho opened his eyes and he realized he was still in Changmin’s arms. Somehow drenched the younger’s armpit with his droll. He got up and contemplated whether he should just… wipe his saliva off or-

 

Changmin shifted in his sleep and Yunho did the first thing came to his mind: ran away.

 

After a glass of water, his mind cleared a bit. But he regretted it. Because he remembered what happened last night. Fuck. Fuck.

 

What now.

 

*

 

Changmin had a massive morning wood when he woke up. Yunho wasn’t there. He quickly went to the bathroom, took care of his business.

 

Changmin sat on the closet after he took off his sweatpants and yeah. He felt like a teenager again, with dick stood tall and proud. He felt pathetic as he wrapped his warm hand around his erection, shivered as he felt the familiar touch, but felt so damn good when needed.

 

He wanted _some_ last night, okay. He already had a hard on he should’ve taken care of, but he couldn’t leave Yunho. What if he had a bad dream again?

 

His dirty thought was to use Yunho’s hand around his dick when the man was sleeping. Or fuck, Changmin could just jerk off on his small pretty face. The tip of his cock touched Yunho’s full red lower lip. Yunho’s lips was so fucking distracting. With the beauty mark on the left, fuck was that sexy. He wanted to run his thick cock around Yunho’s face. His eyes, damn, those eyelashes must be ticklish on his sensitive hardness. Down to his straight nose, to his scar, and yes, to those luscious lips. Those lips which let out whiny needy whimpers.

 

Changmin moaned deeply, when he thumbed the slit, he imagined it was Yunho’s tongue. He wanted it, he wanted Yunho. He remembered Yunho was gasping for more, his desperate lusty look, his hand around Changmin’s, and of course, Yunho’s hot cock.

 

Changmin jerked faster, rougher, a bit more, until-

 

The door opened.

 

Yunho was there, hand still on the door handle. He saw Changmin sat on the closet, with hand around his thick juicy dick and-

 

Changmin spurted his cum.

 

He could see Yunho was blushing deep, before the older man closed the door hurriedly.

 

He was so fucked.

 

*

 

They had the most awkward breakfast afterwards.

 

“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t… I thought…” Yunho cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to walk in when… well, I just thought that you were still in bed.”

 

“It’s okay.” Changmin said, tried to sound calm but he felt so fucking nervous as well. “We’re both men.”

 

Yunho hummed and munched his toast. Remembering Changmin gave him a handjob was embarrassing enough, now added the image of Changmin jerking off in the bathroom, his brain was in haywire.

 

“And about last night,”

 

Yunho mind kept saying fuckfuckfuckfuck. “I’m sorry about that too.” He blurted out, before Changmin could say anything else. “And just… let’s just not think about that anymore.”

 

“It’s kinda hard, isn’t it? Since we live together.” Changmin drank his coffee.

 

Yunho hated Changmin’s witty self.

 

“When you said you’re sorry, I thought you were apologizing about… you know,” Changmin clread his throat. “Not returning the favor last night.”

 

That was the first time Yunho looked at him in the eye after the morning incident.

 

Changmin looked away and let out a nervous laugh quickly. “Haha… just kidding.”

 

Yunho laughed too, to ease out the awkwardness.

 

The ride to the academy was normal. Yunho got off and thanked Changmin for the ride. When he walked to his locker room, his phone rang.

 

_what time u finished? i’ll pick u up & we can go shopping._

_From: Shim Changmin_


	4. Chapter 4

“Hi, Minah!” Yoochun greeted her cheerfully.

 

Minah turned to see who it was. “Oh, sunbae-nim, hello,” she bowed.

 

“Have you eat lunch? I’m so hungry now…” Yoochun asked.

 

“Well… I haven’t, sunbae.” Minah shook her head slowly.

 

“Great! Should we eat together?” Yoochun grinned.

 

Minah looked down and didn’t answer.

 

“Accompany me, please? I hate eating alone.” Yoochun added, searching for the girl’s eyes.

 

“Okay, then.”

 

*

 

Yunho finished earlier again. He wondered if he should tell Changmin, or just went home by himself. But well, Changmin asked him to tell him, right?

 

_i’m still in the campus. wait for an hour ok?_

_From: Shim Changmin_

Yunho replied an okay with overloading smileys. Usually he’d hang out with Yoochun or chatting with Minah. But well, well, look at that. Yoochun was in the canteen with Minah, laughing about something. Yunho would like to join, but was it okay for Minah? And he was the one telling Yoochun to cheer Minah up, anyway. It sent a frown to Yunho’s face.

 

Then a thought hit him. He could go to  Changmin’s campus, right? Since Changmin went to Yunho’s academy a lot, it was fine to… _return the favor?_

Yunho texted Siwon, asked for Changmin’s campus address and decided to go. They could meet up there and went shopping later, right?

 

The reply came not long after, plus additional teasing from Siwon, saying that Yunho finally interested about his fiancé. Yunho felt stupid because Siwon was being kind as ever, but he was over polite, thanking Siwon again and again, apologizing for troubling him. Since the nightmare came, Yunho became more conscious about his attitude towards Siwon. But apparently, nothing changed between them.

 

The university was just a bus ride away, not far. Of course Changmin didn’t mind to drive Yunho everyday to and from academy. It was on his way, and Yunho wondered if the younger would still drive him if the academy wasn’t on the route.

 

Yunho started to use his brain when he already on the bus: what if Changmin didn’t want him to come?

 

He told himself that it was fine. If Changmin didn’t like the idea of Yunho coming, then, well, it wasn’t like he hoped Changmin to like him.

 

Scratch that. Of course Yunho wanted Changmin to like him! They’d live together forever, well, for a long time, at least. And Yunho had to admit, he started to like the younger guy. Changmin was gorgeous. And instead of his cold behavior, the man was actually… considerate. Especially when he hugged Yunho last night. Though being with each other was just something they _have to_ do, the feelings could just come without invited, right?

 

Yunho got off from the bus and looked around. The university could be seen, the big white building with the golden logo. Yunho hadn’t been in that area much, and he quite enjoyed the surroundings, the chatter of students filled the air.

 

There was a café across the road. Should Yunho waited for Changmin there?

 

But Yunho’s eyes caught somebody, wore black coat and dark purple scarf, sitting in the corner of the café. It was Changmin. Through the glass wall, Yunho could see the man was sitting in front of a lady. Maybe just a female friend from the college. Maybe his girlfriend.

 

The woman was actually… looked a bit too old to be a friend from the campus.

 

Oh.

_“Nuna, I loved you back then, and now, I still do.”_

Changmin smiled gently to the woman in front of him, talked to her with such look in his eyes. Look of much interest, care, _love_ … his smile couldn’t fade away, and that was the first time Yunho saw a happy affectionate Changmin.

 

Yunho’s hand felt cold in his pocket. He felt like a fool, watching Changmin from there. It was a nice sight, how Changmin’s cheeks blushed lightly, his twinkling eyes and blinding smile…

 

Changmin would never be like that with him, so Yunho would just stand there and look… for a bit more… enjoyed this side of Changmin.

 

Yunho took a deep sigh, walked back to the bus station, sitting alone and the wind blew quite strongly. If only the wind could blow his thoughts away. If only he could be like Changmin, had his own private life, with his perfect someone, he wouldn’t be this miserable. The engagement was sure nothing for Changmin, it was just something his parents wanted him to do. Yunho was a fool to think that… feelings would come as they were together.

 

*

 

Sunyoung put on her seatbelt, hand on steer.

 

“Why so soon?” Changmin pouted.

 

“I have work, Changmin,” Sunyoung smiled.

 

“Work? What is it?”

 

“It’s a secret.” She winked and turned on the car.

 

“Be careful, Nuna,” Changmin smiled to her.

 

“I will,” Sunyoung looked out through the window to the tall man outside.

 

Changmin leaned down and gave her a kiss on her lips. “See you later,”

 

Sunyoung just smiled before drove away.

 

Changmin walked rather happily back to his campus, to the parking lot. He’d have to pick Yunho from the academy. Should he text the man to tell him he was coming?

 

When Changmin passed the bus station in front of the university, he saw Yunho. Hunched down, face in his palm. Wait… it was Yunho, right? Grey coat… yeah, Yunho.

 

“Yunho-sshi?” Changmin walked closer to the man.

 

Yunho startled and look up.

 

“Yunho-sshi? What… why are you here?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho blinked. “Um… I… come to your campus just… well…” he shouldn’t come. He really should not. “I finished earlier, and I wonder if I… just come to you.”

 

“Oh.” Changmin nodded, though he didn’t understand Yunho’s reason. “Then… you’re just sitting here? Alone?”

 

Well, didn’t it sound so fucking pathetic. “Yeah… my head hurts a bit…” my _heart_ hurt.

 

“Are you okay?” Changmin lower himself, tried to see Yunho’s face.

 

“I’m… I’m fine… it’s getting better.” Yunho gave a small smile.

 

“So… do you want to go home now, or we can go shopping?” Changmin asked again.

 

“Can we just…” Yunho almost sobbed, because why, why would Changmin so fucking concerned about him when he already had someone, dammit. “Go home, please?”

 

“Sure.” Changmin nodded. “Let’s go. Should I buy a medicine or something? Have you eat lunch?”

 

Yunho stood up and walked. “It’s… it’s okay.” He said. “Maybe I’m just… a bit tired.”

 

“Okay.”

 

*

 

Mrs Shim and Yuri came to visit because it was weekend. Damn how Yunho forgot that he’d like to watch a movie together with his fiancé after shopping for their apartment, _because it was weekend_. He was pretending to sleep, before finally sleeping for real, and he woke up to the chattering outside the bedroom.

 

“I thought you’ve… furnished the apartment a bit, son.” Mrs Shim said.

 

“We’re both busy.” Came Changmin’s reply.

 

“But still…” Mrs Shim sighed. “The Jungs had visited you?”

 

“No. Not yet. Why don’t you come together?” Changmin asked.

 

“I’ve asked Yuri to contact them,”

 

“Jung Jihye answered. She said they were busy.” Yuri continued her mother’s words.

 

“Then maybe, you should call again.” Mrs Shim said patiently.

 

“She doesn’t like me.” Yuri said, out of nowhere.

 

Wow, Yunho thought. How could she know Jihye didn’t like her? Yunho should go out and greeted them, but well, the conversation was getting interesting. And it would be rude if he came out when they talked about his little sister, right?

 

“How do you know?” Changmin asked, and Yunho felt thankful the man asked that for him.

 

“You’d know she doesn’t like you either Oppa, if you pay a little attention to people around you.” Yuri replied.

 

Yunho wanted to give Shim Yuri a big round of applause. Of course, this girl was smart.

 

“I do, Yuri. And I know that she doesn’t like me, but she doesn’t like you more.” Changmin said.

 

So Changmin knew about that too? Well, at least Yunho learned that he shouldn’t talk back to the Shims. He’d lost the debate.

 

“It doesn’t matter who or what Jung Jihye likes.” Mrs Shim stopped them.

 

Yunho thought if the Shim’s conversation was always like this. It wasn’t bickering, to say. He’d like to watch their expression. Maybe Changmin’s calm one, and Yuri’s haughty look, and Mrs Shim would… he didn’t know what would Mrs Shim look like.

 

“It’s you, son. How’s Jung Yunho?” Mrs Shim asked, and Yunho’s heart stopped.

 

Changmin didn’t answer at first. “He’s… fine.”

 

“You said he was sick.” Yuri said.

 

Okay. It was the time to come out. He didn’t want to hear what Changmin thought about him. No, not yet. Yunho got off from the bed, quickly opened the door. Mrs Shim was sitting elegantly on the couch, while Yuri and Changmin were sitting in the kitchen.

 

“Oh, hello, Mrs Shim, Yuri-sshi.” Yunho bowed a greeting as they saw him.

 

“Hello, Yunho. How are you?” Mrs Shim turned to see Yunho. “Changmin said you’re sick.”

 

“Just… a little headache. It’s okay.” Yunho smiled, and he realized he should’ve looked at the mirror first. He wore sweatpants and faded tshirt. And his hair must be a mess now. “Do you want some tea, Mrs Shim?” Yunho walked to the kitchen.

 

“Can’t. The cup is limited.” Changmin said to Yunho.

 

Yunho looked at the mug on the table, belonged to Changmin and Yuri.

 

“You should take care of your mother first!” Yunho whispered.

 

“She doesn’t want one.” Changmin replied.

 

“It’s okay, Yunho,” Mrs Shim said.

 

“I’m sorry about that. Today we should’ve gone shopping.” Yunho said regretfully.

 

“It’s fine. I understand. Everything was too sudden, isn’t it?” Mrs Shim said with a smile.

 

And Yunho thought his mother was right. Mrs Shim was a quite nice lady.

 

“Yuri will buy it for you.” Mrs Shim added.

 

“Please don’t Mrs Shim,” Yunho stole a glance to Yuri, who was covering her face with the mug. “I don’t want to trouble you.”

 

“It’s fine.” Yuri put her mug on the table. “I’ll go tomorrow.”

 

Yunho didn’t expect such reply from her.

 

“It’s late already. Come on, Yuri.” Mrs Shim stood up from the couch. “We should go home. Changmin, take a good care of your fiancé.”

 

Yunho walked them to the door and Changmin was washing the dishes.

 

“Feeling better?” Changmin asked.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Let’s eat. My mother brought food from home.” Changmin said as he opened the food container.

 

Yunho took the mugs Changmin washed because they were the only mugs they had, Yunho brought them from home. He really shouldn’t let his feeling overcame him. He should just go shopping with Changmin. They had no plates or bowls, there was only a couple of silver chopsticks and spoons, the rest were plastics or wooden, from the chinese restaurant.

 

“Your mother cooks better than mine,” Yunho said as he munched the meat.

 

“She’s good at it but doesn’t cook often.” Changmin said.

 

“Yuri cooks well too?”

 

“Don’t think so. She’s not the housewife type of woman.”

 

Yeah, Yunho guessed so. Yuri was one of the modern women who loved independence and career.

 

*

 

“Boy, boy! Are you alright?”

 

Yunho could see red liquid on his hands, on his white uniform, on his pants, everywhere. He didn’t know what happened.

 

“It’s okay.” The man in uniform picked him up. The sound of siren hurt his ear and the next thing he knew, he was in the hospital. His father was walking panicky back and forth, his mother had little Minah on her lap, hugging her.

 

Siwon was standing in front of the closed door, unmoving.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, Siwon. I’m sorry.” Yunho cried. “I’m sorry… I killed your father… I’m sorry…” But didn’t matter how much he apologized and cried, it couldn’t bring Mr Choi back. “Siwon, I’m sorry…”

 

Someone pulled him to a tight embrace. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”

 

“It’s not okay! I killed him…” Yunho pushed him away and cried harder.

 

The man shushed him gently, a warm hand caressed his back.

 

Yunho just realized he had woken up from his nightmare. He could feel his cheek hot and wet with tears and they were on sitting position, his head fell to Changmin’s shoulder. His arms went around Changmin’s body, and he could feel Changmin hugged him tighter.

 

Changmin didn’t let go of their embrace when they laid back on the bed, pulled the blanket to cover their body. “It’s okay… I’m here. Nothing bad happen.”

 

*

 

“What are you doing here?” was what Yuri said when he saw Siwon standing on the door.

 

“Yunho asked Siwon-sshi to accompany you shopping.” Mrs Shim answer could be heard.

 

“I can go by myself.” Yuri said to Siwon, though in the end they went together.

 

They bought mat, towels and other cleaning equipment. Siwon let Yuri chose the cutleries and the kitchenware. Discount was given to couple, and Siwon put his arm around Yuri when they paid.

 

“So you two are married?” the cashier ahjumma asked.

 

“Engaged.” Siwon answered.

 

“Aigoo… your fiancée looked so pretty…”

 

“Thank you,” Yuri smiled and bowed.

 

Yuri pushed Siwon as they got out the store. “What was that?”

 

“Why, we got discount, right? Isn’t it nice?” Siwon smirked.

 

Yuri tsked and looked away, but Siwon could see blush crept her face.

 

“There’s a nice steak restaurant across the street. Do you want to eat?” Siwon asked.

 

“Okay.”

 

They put the shopping bags in the car and walked to the restaurant. Siwon liked it how Yuri could walk tall and proud on her high heels, didn’t wobble even once on the rough road.

 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Siwon asked after they ordered their food.

 

“I don’t have time for that kind of thing.” Yuri closed her menu.

 

“You don’t have time for boyfriend, but have time to go shopping for your brother?” Siwon teased.

 

“I only have time for useful, important things.” Yuri replied.

 

“So I am important?” Siwon asked.

 

“Lunch, is important.” Yuri smiled.

 

And when Yuri looked down as she slipped the strands of her hair behind her ear, Siwon thought there was no other beautiful things beside of her. The food came and they talked more.

 

“Are you gonna join a party? Your father’s maybe?” Siwon asked.

 

“No. He won’t let me.”

 

Siwon could catch disappointment in her tone. “Why?”

 

“Because I’m a woman.”

 

That was stupid. “But you are smart. You can do that.”

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Yuri said flatly. “I’m _only_ his daughter.” She muttered and sliced the steak rougher.

 

Siwon felt guilty to bring it up. “I have a younger sister. Her name is Minah.” He said, and continued when he noticed that Yuri was listening. “She worked in the hapkido academy too, same as Yunho.”

 

“What about your parents?” Yuri asked.

 

“My mother passed away when she gave birth to Minah. My father died in a car crash.”

 

Yuri looked up to him. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. It was… more than twenty years ago.” Siwon smiled reassuringly. “How’s the steak?”

 

“Delicious.” Yuri smiled.

 

“Worth your time, Miss?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

*

 

“Can I take you home?” Yoochun offered.

 

“No, it’s okay, sunbae.” Minah refused.

 

“Aish, come on.”

 

“Ah, Oppa, hello,” Minah greeted Yunho when she saw him.

 

“Hello,” Yunho greeted back.

 

“Why you call Yunho oppa, but call me sunbae?” Yoochun asked.

 

“Because… you’re a senior.” Minah mumbled, felt wronged.

 

“Yunho too!” Yoochun replied.

 

Yunho giggled. “Oh, Changmin’s there. I’m going now.” He could hear Minah said goodbye and Yoochun’s demanding voice to call him oppa too as he walked to Changmin’s car.

 

“Yuri and Siwon are waiting.” Changmin said.

 

“Really?” Yunho wore his seatbelt.

 

“Yeah… she texted me earlier.”

 

“You didn’t tell them the code number?” Yunho asked.

 

“Just… let them be.”

 

Yunho tilted his head curiously. “Do you know if Yuri likes Siwon?” _aren’t you pay attention to your surroundings and you’ll notice who likes who?_

“I only think she needs a boyfriend to tame her a bit.” Changmin lifted his shoulders.

 

“Tame her?” Yunho laughed.

 

Changmin laughed too. “To make her… less tough, then. To make her have feelings. She’s a woman, after all.”

 

Yunho wanted to ask, ‘what about you, then?’ but he instead said “So you care about her…”

 

“Not really.”

 

Yunho scoffed but said nothing.

 

When they arrived, Siwon and Yuri was in the apartment lobby. He led them to the elevator and opened the door.

 

“I’m sorry, Yuri-sshi. Changmin should’ve given you the lock code.” Yunho said. “Please come in.”

 

Siwon and Changmin was busy with bags and boxes.

 

“Thank you so much. Sorry for troubling you.” Yunho said.

 

“It’s okay, Yunho-yah. We got a couple discount.” Siwon replied.

 

“A couple discount?” Yunho lifted his eyebrows.

 

“Discount, you know. For couple.” Siwon smirked.

 

When Yunho’s brain was working to study that, Yuri cut them. “It’s nothing. Come on Oppa, we should go.”

 

“Thank you,” Changmin held the door for Siwon and Yuri, before he closed them.

 

“Wait. She wasn’t talking to you?” Yunho asked.

 

“What?” Changmin put the car keys to the drawer.

 

“Did she call Siwon… ‘oppa’?” Yunho asked, just realized that.

 

“Yeah, and they got discount as a couple too…” Changmin sat down to open a box.

 

“A couple? You mean… them… as a couple?” Yunho sat next to Changmin.

 

“Yeah, you didn’t hear that?” Changmin stood up again to search for cutter.

 

“Oh.” Yunho said dumbly. Why everybody was in love but not him? Minah, Yoochun, Siwon, and Yuri… what about him?

 

“Yunho-sshi, maybe you want to move your hand from there before I cut this open.” Changmin said.

 

Yunho pulled his hand from the top of the box.

 

They still called each other with Yunho-sshi and Changmin-sshi. He tried not to be jealous knowing Yuri  called Siwon with Oppa.

 

“Wow, they buy quite a lot.” Changmin said.

 

“Yeah…” Yunho took out a set of plates and bowls from a box and put them on the dining table.

 

“They even bought pots and frying pan. I feel hungry suddenly.” Changmin looked his reflection from the pot lid.

 

“Doesn’t it make you want to cook?” Yunho asked.

 

“Yeah. Should we buy groceries?” Changmin looked up from his sitting potition.

 

“Sure!”

 

*

 

Yunho made riceballs with anchovies, fed Changmin some when he was cooking kimchi jiggae.

 

“Can you add more chili?” Changmin asked as he was busy with his dish.

 

Yunho added more chili powder. “Oh, I forgot we bought seaweed. We should just make kimbap.”

 

“Just make it too. We’ll eat everything.”

 

“The filling?”

 

“There’s still some left from the riceballs?”

 

Yunho laughed. Yeah, of course they’d eat everything, knowing Changmin’s big appetite, and he was pretty hungry himself.

 

Yunho made a big failure rolling the kimbap. The filling was too much and it burst out from the seaweed sheet. “It’s hard.”

 

Changmin peeked from his shoulder. “Oh, here, let me…” he took over the job, put a line of rice Yunho made and rolled it perfectly.

 

“Whoa… you’re doing great!” Yunho was amazed when Changmin cut the kimbap neatly.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Yunho hummed as he watched Changmin making the kimbap. He made another three rolls of kimbap until he realized something. “Shit! The jjigae!”

 

“Oh right!” Yunho quickly turned off the stove and stirred the soup.

 

“Ouch!” Changmin shouted in pain suddenly.

 

“What is it?” Yunho looked at the younger man.

 

Changmin accidentally cut his finger. It was bleeding quite a lot.

 

“Come here,” Yunho held Changmin’s hand and put it under the tap, let the water rinsed the blood. “You have to be careful…”

 

“Yeah, I just… surprised when you jumped off the chair to the stove…” Changmin mumbled.

 

“Well sorry about that.”

 

“It’s my fault forgetting the jjigae, anyway.”

 

Yunho smiled and dried Changmin’s finger with tissue. “Hold this. I have a plaster in my bag.”

 

Changmin waited as Yunho went to the bedroom, came back not long after. Yunho dabbed Changmin’s wound to dry the blood, and quickly wrapped his finger with the plaster. It had little strawberries motifs.

 

“It’s… cute.” Changmin commented.

 

Yunho scoffed. “Minah gave this in my birthday.”

 

“When is your birthday?” Changmin asked.

 

“February.”

 

“Mine’s too.”

 

“Really?” Yunho looked up to the younger man.

 

Changmin nodded. “Thank you. Let’s eat now.”


	5. Chapter 5

Yunho told her to be careful around Yoochun because that guy was a playboy. Minah just laughed because Yoochun was also there, kicked Yunho’s butt. But she made a mental note not to be too close to him.

 

It was a bit awkward at first, but it became more comfortable. She spent lots of time with Yoochun lately. Since the Jung-Shim engagement, Siwon agreed not to pick her up everyday at the academy. Yoochun usually would drive her home after a nice dinner, and Minah insisted to buy the desert for them.

 

It was Saturday and they had a date. Minah told Yoochun not to bring his car, she’d show him around. They rode bus and Yoochun had a little girl on his lap. She was bouncing happily, her mother sat beside him, hugging a little baby. They ate snacks until they stomach almost burst and Yoochun didn’t finish Minah’s favorite topokki because it was too spicy for him. He bought vanilla ice cream to cool down his tongue and shared it with Minah.

 

“Today was really great! We should do it again!” Yoochun grinned. They had arrived at Minah’s home, standing in front of the door.

 

Minah couldn’t hide her smile either. “I’m glad you enjoyed it too, Sunbae.”

 

“Oppa! Remember?” Yoochun warned her.

 

“Oppa…” Minah said quietly, looked down and his cheeks blushed.

 

Yoochun thought it was the cutest thing he ever seen. Minah was like a little sister to him, she was cute and energetic. But… seeing her like this… “Minah-yah…”

 

Minah looked up and Yoochun leaned, closed the distance between them and kissed her.

 

Minah’s eyes widened when she felt Yoochun’s lips on her. It felt… weird but not unpleasant. A foreign feeling she had for the first time. Yoochun’s lips were softer than it looks. She was afraid Yoochun could hear her heartbeat and pulled back slightly. She could feel her face red and hot. And Yoochun shifted closer again, kissed her again, felt her quivered and pushed a little bit, put his arms around her to calm her.

 

Yoochun pulled back when he needed to breathe.

 

And now…

 

The awkwardness came.

 

“I should come in before… Siwon Oppa…” she mumbled.

 

“Yes, yes you should.” Yoochun nodded.

 

Minah gave a little bow before opened the door and closed it. Yoochun could feel his pulse up to his neck and he thought he caught a fever. He never felt like this.

 

*

 

Yunho woke up on Changmin’s arm again. He couldn’t deny his fiancé helped him to… prevent the nightmares. Their life together had gotten much better. Though Changmin didn’t ask, Yunho would just tell him how his day went, the students he taught, and how Yoochun had gotten closer to Minah.

 

And actually he was itching to ask who was that woman? That nuna in the café. Was she the one Changmin called before, the one he loved?

 

“Good morning,” Yunho was slurping his morning coffee.

 

Changmin just groaned in reply and took a cup for himself. “My father wants me to go home.” Changmin said, after he slumped on the couch next to Yunho.

 

“What?” he held his breath.

 

“The election day is in a week. He asked me to help.”

 

“Oh.” Yunho huffed. He thought that… the Shim wanted Changmin back, took him away from him. That somehow Yunho displeased Changmin’s family. “I can’t believe it’s in a week.”

 

“Yeah, me too.” Changmin shrugged.

 

Yunho had watch Mr Shim on tv, debates, promotions, interviews, and he had to say that the man was good. Changmin’s wit came from his father. There were other strong candidates, Moon Heejun, who was the Ministry of Finance five years ago. He had been concentrating in his party when he wasn’t active in the government. The other was Yoon Jinyi. Yunho liked her, she was a new face but really smart and confident.

 

“Do you want to come? You don’t have to go to the academy today, right?”

 

Yunho didn’t know whether he should come or not. It wasn’t like he could help anything, anyway. “Um, should I?”

 

“Yeah. I mean, my parents would like to see us together.”

 

 _So it was just for your parents? Whatever we had done together, just for your parents to see?,_ Yunho thought. “I don’t know politics.”

 

“Me either. Well I know, but it doesn’t matter.” Changmin got up, poured the rest of his coffee to the sink. “I’m showering first, yeah?”

 

Yunho thought that they were okay. Changmin was actually a better man than he thought, and he wondered if Changmin should be a bad man he thought he was. Maybe that way, Yunho wouldn’t fall faster for the other man. He didn’t know what or who he was in the younger man’s eyes. They were too formal to become friends. And they slept too close to each other to be strangers.

 

“Are you coming?” Changmin asked as he was ready, wore navy shirt and jeans.

 

“I’m going out with some friends.” Yunho lied.

 

“Got it.” Changmin took the car keys from the drawer. “I’m going then.”

 

“See you.” Yunho watched as Changmin wore his shoes and left.

 

He didn’t even ask who was Yunho going out with. Of course he didn’t, Changmin wouldn’t care at all, would he?

 

*

 

Changmin didn’t know why he had to go home. His father had his team, anyway. And there was Yuri, for god sake.

 

“Father, I’m here.” Changmin opened the door to his father office.

 

“Good son, now come here,” Mr Shim welcomed him.

 

Changmin sat in front of him, men were murmuring here and there, didn’t even notice Shim Ingeun’s son was there. He just read the papers given to him, stayed silent and invincible until Mrs Shim came with a tray of snacks and tea for the staff.

 

“Where’s Yunho?” Mrs Shim asked.

 

“Not coming.” Changmin answered.

 

During break time, the Shim were relaxing in the livingroom and Mr Shim sat next to his son. “What do you think, son, isn’t it fun?” he grinned. “It’s like a war. The heat is arousing, isn’t it?”

 

“The heat is burning my brain.” Changmin replied, ate two cookies at once.

 

“Shim Chang-“

 

“Father, you know this is not for me. I’ve made myself clear that I don’t want this.” And Changmin realized why his father asked him home. To lure him to politics, to make him became like his father.

 

“I don’t see you make anything out of your studies!” Mr Shim raised his voice. “You just keep studying, studying, what are they teaching you, anyway? It makes you a lazy and unproductive person.”

 

“Learning, and studying are process that will never end.” Changmin drank his tea.

 

“And what, you’ll just study and study until the day you die?” Mr Shim demanded.

 

Changmin didn’t answer, Mrs Shim and Yuri stayed in their position. It was just like the old times.

 

“If I were chosen to be the president, I’ll need someone I can trust in the government! And it should be you, my son, Shim Changmin!” Mr Shim stated.

 

“ _If_ , father, if you were chosen.” Changmin replied sarcastically.

 

“Shim Changmin!” Mr Shim scolded.

 

“Father, listen, I have done anything you asked me to. I’ve helped you too in this election, you know? I’m engaged to the Jung’s son, isn’t it enough?” Changmin’s jaw clenched.

 

Mr Shim was furious. How could his son talk to him like that?

 

“Father, I can-“

 

“Shut up, Yuri!” Mr Shim quickly cut his daughter, eyes was still on Changmin.

 

“Father, please hear me out,” Yuri pleaded.

 

“Enough!” Mr Shim glared to Yuri. “Go back to your room.”

 

“Why? I’m not deserved to be here?” Yuri asked with shaky voice.

 

“I’m talking to my son now, I don’t want to hear your ramblings.”

 

Yuri stood up. “Shim Changmin is your son, but he’s not your only child! I am your daughter! I’m doing everything I can to be a decent daughter for you!”

 

Mr Shim finally looked at his daughter. Mrs Shim looked surprised too, still holding the tea cup in her hand.

 

“Why am I never enough? Why can’t I do what Oppa should do?” Yuri gulped down her heartache.

 

“You are a woman, Yuri.” Mr Shim said the obvious. “I’ve never asked you to enroll in the politic school. You should stay at home. Look at Jung Jihye, a girl should learn to be a good housewife, to treat their future husband right.” He said calmly, though anger still evident in his voice.

 

“What do you mean?” Yuri asked quietly.

 

“I don’t need you, Yuri.”

 

Changmin could see Yuri fists tightened, before his sister stormed out, left everything behind her. He knew Yuri could more than able to handle this, the election. She was the top graduate and even got a scholarship for her second degree. To say that his father didn’t need Yuri was the stupidest thing Changmin ever heard.

 

“You shouldn’t say that to her.” Mrs Shim said as she returned the cup to the table, tried to remain calm.

 

“It’s fine. She’s a grownup woman.” Mr Shim replied flatly.

 

Changmin got up and walked away.

 

“Where are you going? We’re not finished!” Mr Shim called him.

 

“If you don’t need someone like her, I wonder what a man like me can do.” Changmin mocked, he went downstairs to Yuri’s room.

 

She was packing and Changmin wondered why he surprised.

 

“Yoon Jinyi is the biggest threat.” Yuri said as she put her clothes in her suitcase. “He underestimates her and only think about Moon Heejun.” Yuri took all the money inside her safety box. “Father should worry about her more, but he is fucking not!” she shouted as she banged the suitcase closed. “Because she’s a fucking woman?!”

 

Changmin stood by the door, watching his sister wandered in her room, collecting things she needed. “Where are you going?”

 

“I don’t know.” Yuri took her expensive handbag from the bed and pulled her suitcase in another hand.

 

Changmin moved to give her a way out. “Call me if you need anything.”

 

Yuri didn’t answer but Changmin could see her nodded before walked out through the door.

 

“Where’s your sister?” Mrs Shim asked panicky. She was still on the stairs.

 

“She’s leaving.”

 

“You didn’t hold her up?” Mrs Shim walked faster.

 

“I tried.” Changmin said.

 

“Oh my gosh, Changmin… what… what…” Mrs Shim was helpless. “Follow her now!”

 

“Okay.” Changmin gladly walked out too, left his house behind. “Hello, Yunho-sshi?” he called as he got in the car.

 

“Hello?” Yunho’s voice could be heard.

 

“Do you want to eat anything? I’m on my way home.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. Are you home yet?”

 

“Well, of course I am.”

 

“Oh, I thought you’re still with your friends.”

 

“What? Wh- oh, yeah, right. We… well he couldn’t come, so… I’m still at home.”

 

“Okay…” Changmin smelt something fishy about Yunho’s sudden nervousness and stuttering but still didn’t ask. Yunho was the type of guy who liked to talk and excited to do so, and his words were smooth and neverending. That was why when he didn’t speak clear enough, it meant something went wrong. “So? Do you want something to eat? Have you eaten yet?”

 

“N… no. Well, what do you want to eat?”

 

“Anything. Are you craving something?”

 

“Um… can we… just go out to buy the groceries and cook at home?”

 

And another thing Changmin found about his fiancé was, he liked to cook. He was kinda hyperactive and it made his work messy and uncoordinated but Changmin couldn’t complain. Not when he saw the sincerity in his eyes and his hard work. “Sure. I’ll call you when I’m arrived.”

 

“Okay!”

 

Changmin did the engagement because he hoped his father wouldn’t tie him down anymore. Wouldn’t ask for anything else. It was a big favor to do, to spend your life with someone you didn’t know at all. It was worse than gambling.

 

“The marriage between your father and I was also arranged. It’s not as bad as you think.” Mrs Shim said when they were out buying suit for Changmin.

 

It wasn’t bad. But it was hard.

 

When he arrived, he called Yunho and the man came out from the apartment building not long after. “You finished earlier than I thought.”

 

“Yeah. Nothing I can do there, anyway.” Changmin started to drive.

 

They bought vegetables and meat. Changmin wasn’t confident enough to cook fish. There were food stalls outside the marked and Yunho was drooling after the freshly fried redbean bun. The smell was really good and Changmin couldn’t say no when Yunho dragged him there.

 

“Whoah… look at the filling…” Yunho said excitedly as he split the bread.

 

Changmin was too busy to nom, fighting with the hot bread inside his mouth.

 

“You should eat slowly!” Yunho patted Changmin’s back, saw the smoke came out from Changmin’s mouth.

 

Next to the redbean bun was potato pancake stall. Changmin couldn’t resist it either. And Yunho, being the good puppy, followed Changmin and ate from Changmin’s plate.

 

“It’s really delicious!” Yunho’s eyes were widened.

 

Changmin moaned in delight and they laughed to each other’s reaction. Yunho was asking to the seller how to make a delicious potato pancake.

 

“Should I tell you?” the ahjumma smirked. “How can I tell you my secret recipe!”

 

“Oh please, Omoni…” Yunho pleaded. “I wanted to make a good one for my fiancé.”

 

The ahjumma smiled and told Yunho how to grate the potatoes, how to get rid of the liquid, and the right amount of the spices. Changmin quietly memorize them all and even typed the measurements of the spices in his phone.

 

Full and happy, they got back to the car. Yunho walked to the wrong side and opened the driver’s door. “Oops,” Yunho gave a smile to Changmin. “Wrong door.”

 

“Don’t you want to try driving?” Changmin asked when Yunho walked to the passenger’s door.

 

Yunho shook his head slowly.

 

“Why is it?” Changmin asked when they were inside the car. “Does it have something to do with your nightmares?”

 

Yunho turned to look at the man beside him. “How do you know?”

 

“Well… you were rambling that it was your fault that the car crashed… you know, in your dream.” Changmin said carefully.

 

“I said that?”

 

“Yeah…” _beside that you were killing a man_ , but Changmin didn’t say that.

 

“It’s not written in my profile?” Yunho teased nervously.

 

“No. If it was, I’d disagree to the engagement.” Changmin let out a little laugh.

 

Yunho looked away, convinced his mind that Changmin _was kidding_.

 

“It’s okay of you don’t want to talk about it.” Changmin turned on the car. “But I believe it has been a long time ago, Yunho-sshi. You shouldn’t let your past haunts you.”

 

*

  
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked when they were sitting on the couch, watching tv.

 

Changmin was rotating his right shoulder stiffly, stretched his arm slowly. “It’s a bit hurting… right here,” he squeezed his bicep.

 

“Hmm… let me…” Yunho moved closer to Changmin and massaged his muscles. “Here?”

 

“Yeah… oh… that’s right, there…” Changmin moaned in contentment. “You’re so good at this.”

 

“Usually people got injured in hapkido. I have to be able to… well, at least lessen the pain.” Yunho knead Changmin arm gently.

 

“This really feels nice…” Changmin leaned back and let Yunho massaged his arm.

 

“Why is it hurting anyway? Was it because the groceries? Too heavy?” Yunho asked.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Well…” Yunho tilted his head. “Only your right arm?”

 

“Yeah, my left is okay.”

 

“That’s…” the thought kinda struck him suddenly. Was it because he always slept on Changmin’s arm? Fuck, that must be it!

 

“Oh… that really feels good… hmm…”

 

And Yunho thought that Changmin should stop doing that. Moaning like a pornstar. Because his thought was going everywhere right now. Yunho had to sew his lips so he wouldn’t say ‘yeah, does hyungie make little Changmin feels good?’ Yunho cleared his throat. “What did you do at home this morning? How’s your father?”

 

“Well… I shouldn’t come home, you know?” Changmin still had his eyes closed, enjoyed the massage too much.

 

“Why? What happened?” Yunho asked concernedly.

 

“My father wanted me to be like him. I’ve made myself clear that I have no interest in politics but he still wants me to do that.” Changmin sighed.

 

“Because you like music?”

 

“Not really.” Changmin opened his eyes.

 

“But… you take that major in the college, right?”

 

“Music is better than politics. I don’t like music that much, but it’s alright. I’m just tired doing everything my father asked me to do.”

 

So Changmin did that just to… rebel?

 

Changmin phone vibrated on the table and he quickly picked it up. “Hello? Mother?”

 

Yunho let Changmin took back his hand, though he wanted to feel more, wanted to touch Changmin as much as possible.

 

“I’ve tried to call her too, but she didn’t answer it… yes, I will, okay… Mother, it’s okay, she’ll know what to do… of course… Mother, it’s okay, don’t worry about her… I will, I promise…”

 

Yunho watched curiously as Changmin talked to the phone. “What is it?” he asked when Changmin disconnected the call.

 

“Yuri, she ran away from home.” Changmin put his phone back to the table.

 

“WHAT? She- she ran away?! Why? Where is she?” Yunho asked panicky.

 

Changmin gave him a strange look. “She’ll be fine. I think-“

 

“No, Changmin-sshi! Your sister is running away! Have you called her?” Yunho cut him.

 

“Well, I haven’t but-“

 

“Call her now! What if something happened to her?” Yunho took Changmin’s phone and gave it to the owner. “Find out where she is now!”

 

“Yunho-sshi, she’ll be-“

 

“Don’t you care about your own sister, Changmin-sshi? She is your family! How can you leave her alone like that?” Yunho asked him, as if Changmin was doing something that didn’t make sense.

 

Changmin took a deep breath and call. Yuri answered right away. “Yuri, where are you now?... what? Why don’t you stay at the hotel?... oh, that’s right. Fine. Take care-“

 

“Changmin-sshi!” Yunho scolded him.

 

“What?” Changmin didn’t understand. What sin had he committed?

 

Yunho sighed and took the phone from Changmin. “Hello, Yuri-sshi, this is Jung Yunho.”

 

*

 

“My father will check the credit card transaction. Well, I guess mother, then. My father wouldn’t give a shit about me.” Yuri said.

 

“Just go to our apartment. You shouldn’t be alone out there.” Yunho replied.

 

Yuri could hear “But we only have one room, Yunho-sshi!” and Yunho hushed her brother. “Please come, Yuri-sshi. It will be colder at dawn outside.”

 

Yuri smiled. “It’s okay. Oppa is right, I can take care of myself.”

 

Yunho sighed. “Then… just wait where you are. I’ll tell your brother to bring some money. And have you eaten yet? We already finished our dinner… so-“

 

“No, no, it’s really okay, Yunho-sshi.” Yuri refused. “I already had my dinner. But yes please, if you can ask Changmin Oppa to send me the money.”

 

“Of course! He’ll be there in a while.”

 

*

 

Yunho had prepared a nice hot ginger drink for Changmin. He felt bad for interfering the Shim’s family problem. But still, Yuri was a woman, and she was Changmin’s sister too! How could he let her alone out there? It could be dangerous!

 

It had been three hours since Changmin left. A quite long time, since Yuri’s location wasn’t that far. Should Yunho call? Ah, but maybe they went out together. Yunho didn’t want to disturb them.

 

A little before midnight, the door clicked open.

 

“Changmin-sshi!” Yunho came to the door. “Why do you take so long? Is Yuri fine?”

 

“She is,” Changmin took off his coat and gloves.

 

“It’s really cold out there? God, you’re freezing!” Yunho could feel Changmin’s cold fingers when he touched them. “Are you-“

 

Changmin was standing tall in front of him. Nose red, maybe from the cold. Yunho could feel his breath on his face. Shit, they must be standing too close.

 

“Do you want to do it?” Changmin asked, his hands tightened in Yunho’s hold, pulled him closer a little.

 

“What.” His heart started to beat like crazy. Their hands trapped between their bodies.

 

“Do you? Tell me now if you don’t want it.” Changmin’s voice was low, a bit rough.

 

Yunho could read _lust_ in his eyes. “Sex?”

 

Changmin moved his hand to wrap around Yunho’s body, pulled him impossibly closer and leaned down to whisper right to his ear. “Tell me now if you don’t want to.”

 

Yunho could feel the hot damp air and Changmin’s slightly chapped lips brushed against his sensitive neck. “Let’s do it.”

 

Changmin took his hand and walked to their bedroom, stripped in progress and Yunho just followed his lead, their clothings scattered here and there. Changmin pulled him to the bed and Yunho was pinned under him.

 

“I- I’ve never done this.” Changmin said suddenly.

 

“You’ve never…” Yunho looked up to Changmin’s eyes. He could see that the younger was a bit afraid, nervous and insecure… lust somehow had blinded him.

 

“Not with a guy.” Changmin bit his lip.

 

“It’s okay.” Yunho gulped, ran his hands up and down along Changmin’s bare body. He rolled to the side and took a little bottle of lotion, god know who was it belong to, and squirted the content to his fingers. “Wait,” he pushed Changmin.

 

Changmin sat and watched Yunho as the man spread his leg, foot planted to the bed, knees bent. And slowly, Yunho put his finger to his hole. He could hear Changmin swore, stroking his cock roughly. Yunho could notice the neediness and the rush in the air.

 

Changmin was stroking his dick. He was jerking off. Yunho had seen it once, accidentally. And now, it was presented right in front of him. Changmin’s long beautiful fingers wrapped around his equally beautiful cock, the veins started to visible, and Yunho gulped, because he wanted to feel it in his throat.

 

Slowly, Yunho added the second fingers. It had been so long and he was tight as hell. It was so fucking hurt and Yunho was scissoring his fingers, prepped himself carefully. When he heard Changmin moaned and the tip of his cock was glistening with precum, Yunho moved his fingers faster, looking for his prostate, wanted to feel the same pleasure as well.

 

“Enough,” Yunho said to both of them, took the lotion and poured it directly to Changmin’s cock. “Come, enter me.” He pulled Changmin’s shoulder to lean down to him.

 

Changmin pulled Yunho’s legs and the older man was laying on his back again, Changmin on top of him, took Yunho’s leg up, the back of Yunho’s knees hitched on his elbow, and entered.

 

“Aaaahhh! Fuck! Fuck!” Yunho shouted in ecstasy. Maybe because Changmin was too big. Maybe he was too tight. Maybe he was too fucking impatient to prep himself well, dammint, but fuck, Yunho couldn’t wait for it.

 

Changmin wasn’t gentle, and Yunho wasn’t in the mood for slow sex either. He pounded right away to Yunho’s hole, fucked him inside out vigorously.

 

Yunho was clawing to Changmin’s back, his hand grabbed Changmin’s firm ass, pushed him closer, deeper inside him. He wanted to feel every burn Changmin could give. When he look up, he could see Changmin’s eyes tight closed in pleasure, jaw clenched and his mouth opened slightly to let out the sexiest whimper Yunho had ever heard.

 

Changmin shifted and he held Yunho’s legs up to his shoulder, and fuck, he hit that spot just right. Yunho could feel his prostate being molested by the big hot hardness and he was moaning like a whore but he didn’t fucking care, because he was almost there. Yunho wrapped his hand around his erection, the rhythm was getting messy because both of them were chasing the pleasure.

 

Yunho jerked faster, faster, his hand held his cock tighter, thumbed the slit rougher and he spurted his seed to his abs. The orgasm made his inner walls squeezed Changmin’s hot cock mercilessly and Yunho could feel the younger man’s twitched uncontrollably. Yunho held him tighter, encouraged him to go deeper. Changmin thrust once, twice, and he lost it, spurted inside Yunho with a shout.

 

“Sunyoung-ah!”

 

Yunho froze. The man passed out on top of him, and Yunho couldn’t move. His eyes automatically filled with tears and just fell like that. He felt numb.

 

What.

 

What just happened.

 

Changmin’s body felt hot and heavy, yet Yunho still couldn’t push him away. His hands fell limp to his sides. They felt so cold and his lips felt dry. There was a strange feeling in his stomach and he just couldn’t stop it though he wanted to get rid of it.

 

Changmin shouted a name. Not his, that Yunho knew. It wasn’t the wrong name, the right one instead. The name Changmin had in his heart. And it wasn’t Yunho.

 

After god knew how long, Yunho slipped away, let Changmin fell to the bed on his chest, and went to the bathroom.

 

*

 

Changmin knew he should care more about his sister. But it wasn’t like he was wrong. Yuri was 24. Of course she could take care of herself well. She didn’t need him, right? But Yunho had proved him wrong. Yuri needed her Oppa.

 

“You can use my money.” Changmin gave the cash to his sister.

 

“Thank you, Oppa.” Yuri smiled and received it. “He made you do it, doesn’t he?”

 

The weather was freezing, the wind blew cold air to their direction. Changmin huffed and took off his scarf. “Here. You wear this.” He put the scarf around Yuri’s neck.

 

“Omo, Yunho-sshi told you to give your scarf too?” Yuri asked in amusement.

 

“You better text Mother or something. She worries about you so much.” Changmin said.

 

Yuri looked down and played with Changmin’s scarf.

 

Changmin sighed. “I’ll tell her you are alright. Just take your time okay. And stop being so childish, Yuri, at least think about our mother.”

 

Yuri mumbled a quiet okay.

 

When he drove back, Changmin passed Sunyoung’s apartment. Should he… but he knew he shouldn’t.

 

But Changmin got in anyway. He parked the car and entered the building. “Nuna, are you home?”

 

“Changmin? What-“

 

“I’m in your apartment. Let me in.” Changmin felt happy just to hear her voice.

 

Sunyoung sighed. “Okay. Wait a sec.”

 

Three minutes later, Changmin found Sunyoung in a tanktop and skirt.

 

“It’s so sudden, what happened?” Sunyoung asked.

 

“I just want to see you, can’t I?” Changmin walked closer and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

 

“Changmin… I’m tired…” Sunyoung muttered.

 

“Okay, do you want me to-“

 

“Changmin,” Sunyoung turned around and pushed Changmin. “You’re married.”

 

“I’m engaged.” Changmin corrected her.

 

“Yes.” Sunyoung replied.

 

“But Nuna, I’ve told you it doesn’t matter, right? That’s just something my father wanted. But I want you…” Changmin walked closer and hugged her again. “Only you…”

 

Sunyoung put his hand on Changmin’s chest to stop him. “Changmin, what we had, is nothing. I thought you know that.”

 

“Nothing?” anger flashed in Changmin’s eyes. “What do you mean by that?”

 

“God, Changmin, don’t tell me that you don’t know that.” Sunyoung scoffed. “We enjoy each other’s company, but it doesn’t make it official.”

 

“Why do you think like that? You think that we’re not in a serious relationship?” Changmin demanded.

 

“Look at us. You are twenty years younger than me. You can be my son, Changmin!” Sunyoung stated.

 

“Age doesn’t matter!” Changmin quickly replied.

 

“Age does matter! Look how childish you behave! How can you think that we’re together, Changmin?” Sunyoung hissed.

 

“Why you always like this?” Changmin asked quietly, totally defeated when it came to the woman he loved. “It didn’t matter when we first met, why is it matter now?” he looked at her. “I can be whoever you want, I will give whatever you need, why you change?”

 

Sunyoung gulped. “You’re engaged, Changmin.”

 

“And you had a husband. But you said it didn’t matter, right? And you divorced him. It doesn’t matter.” Changmin insisted.

 

“It matters now.” Sunyoung turned and walked away.

 

Changmin quickly held his hand. “You’re hiding something from me. What is it?”

 

“I’m not!” Sunyoung yanked off Changmin’s hand. “Stop acting like you know me!”

 

Changmin stood still, before finally walked off and drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

Changmin thought it was the sex.

 

Yunho didn’t greet him the usual sunshiny ‘good morning’, but just sat there, looked gloomy as if dark clouds were all over him. Changmin didn’t know what to do, it was inevitable. And it wasn’t like they did something wrong, right? They both wanted it and he remembered Yunho came as well. The sex wasn’t that bad.

 

When Yunho didn’t speak even a word to him until he got off the car in the academy, Changmin finally felt bad. But he still didn’t know what was wrong.

 

His phone rang at that time.

 

“Changmin! Yuri-“ his mother’s concerned voice could be heard.

 

“Yes, mother, I’ve met her yesterday.” Changmin cut before she worried too much. “Yuri is fine.”

 

Mrs Shim let out a deep sigh. “Where is she?”

 

“Mother, I think it’s better to let her alone now,” Changmin said.

 

Mrs Shim didn’t answer.

 

“Mother?”

 

“Yes…” Mrs Shim answered. “Just… please take care of her, Changmin. Make sure she’s okay.”

 

“Okay. I’ll do that.”

 

*

 

“Hyung!” Yoochun slapped his shoulder. They were in the hall, sat on the wooden floor and leaned to the wall.

 

“What is it?”

 

“You! I’ve been talking the past hours, but you just-“ Yoochun groaned. “What’s wrong? You didn’t even speak one word since you got here.”

 

“Nothing…” Yunho looked down. “Yoochun-ah, do you think… it’s okay if I… go back to my home?”

 

“Huh? What do you mean?” Yoochun didn’t understand. “Ah! What did Shim Changmin do!?”

 

“He- he’s doing nothing!” Yunho quickly answered. “Just… it’s me… I don’t think I can live together with him again…”

 

“Why is that? He must’ve done something!” Yoochun insisted. “You were okay about living together, but now? What happened?”

 

“I just don’t think this gonna work out, you know… the engagement thing…” Yunho shrugged.

 

“… why?”

 

Yunho gulped. “He’ll never love me!” _He loves another woman_ … “I thought it’d be better if we just… separate.”

 

“But… what about your parents, then?”

 

“It’s still a valid engagement… we just don’t have to live together, don’t you think?”

 

Yoochun took a deep breath. He didn’t think that was right, but he hated how Yunho looked so down.

 

*

 

Yunho’s text usually consist unimportant question such; ‘How was ur day?’, ‘Have u eaten yet?’, ‘Changmin sshi u’ll pick me up today too?’ for the last question, Changmin had explain him, that he would _always_ picking him up, but why he _always_ ask again and again? Yunho’s text wasn’t complete without the smileys which could fill the entire screen. So when Changmin read this text, he felt something was missing.

 

_U don’t have to pick me up. I’ll go home by myself._

_From: Jung Yunho_

So he just drove home to find Yunho who was already there, stood in the middle of the living room, watched the tv seriously. Too serious, Changmin, thought.

 

“… the ex Ministry of Finance, who also running a campaign for the President Election. He was caught in his residence in Gangnam, with An Sunyoung, the woman whose name commonly used to disguise his ownership of assets. The land and-“

 

“Oh Changmin!” Yunho turned off the television. “You- you’re here…”

 

It was her. He could recognize her. The white coat she wore during their date in a restaurant. She covered her face with a pair of dark sunglasses. Her long black hair hidden in the silk scarf. But Changmin could recognize her though she was covered from head to toe.

 

_“I have work, Changmin,”_

_“Work? What is it?”_

_“It’s a secret.” She winked._

Sunyoung never told him, never once, no matter how much he asked.

 

_“What is it? Come on…”_

_“Why do you want to know?”_

_“I want to know everything about you…”_

_“Do you really, want to know everything about me?” she pulled him close and began to explore his mouth_.

 

So.

 

Was it true?

 

Changmin met Sunyoung as a housewife of a very famous lawyer. Her life had been glamorous since then. But after they divorced, Sunyoung’s life never changed. Her expensive perfume Changmin loved so much on her, or her fancy fur coat… Changmin never thought about how… how could she get them all?

 

He just stood there like he had been struck by lightning.

 

“I… have to go.”

 

*

 

Yunho kept the tv on so he wouldn’t feel so… alone. He had been thinking whether he had to pack or not, took the things he needed to go home. Should he left? Or should he stay?

 

He couldn’t blame Changmin. It was him. How could he be such a weak man? Such a needy whore in heat? Thirsty for touch and hungry for cock.

 

Fuck.

 

Yunho slumped on the coach. His limbs dangled here and there lifelessly.

 

Did Changmin think about her all the way? From the moment he touched Yunho, did he thought it was _her_ skin instead? When he pushed Yunho to the bed, did Changmin want it to be her? Did Changmin close his eyes when he thrust into him, thinking it was someone else, someone he loved, instead of Yunho?

 

Yeah.

 

Of course.

 

It was _her_ name he called.

 

 _Sunyoung_.

 

Was that the woman in the café? The one who made Changmin blushed like a teenager, made him smiled dumbly. Dumbly in love.

 

“… land, and properties, under the name An Sunyoung-“

 

Sunyoung?

 

Yunho looked up to the tv. It was the corruption again, huh? Not less than eighty billion won gone. It happened years ago but the issues started to come to the surface not long ago.

 

Yunho didn’t really pay attention, because…

 

Was it? Was that… An Sunyoung… that Sunyoung… as in _Changmin_ ’s Sunyoung?

 

Yunho could faintly remember her face, but her eyes were covered by shades and he couldn’t be so sure if it was her. He walked closer to the tv to get clearer look.

 

Fortunately the news was all over the tv station. When he changed the channel, it was about how Moon Heejun hid the money he corrupted by buying lands, properties, and he even had new villas that bought under the name An Sunyoung.

 

And finally, they showed the photo of An Sunyoung.

 

And yeah, it was her.

 

Yunho didn’t want to think that it was her because _he hoped_ it was her, but… those eyes, small nose, pale skin, long black hair… was her. Yunho remembered her eyes because it was her eyes that made her look old, the wrinkle made Yunho realized that this woman was much older than Changmin.

 

Yunho switched the channel to find out more. And oh, that Moon Heejun was also running an election! What a shame. They found out his sin just before the election. And of course the money he took used for the campaign too.

 

That was the moment when Changmin came in.

 

When Yunho realized Changmin was there, watched the television with disbelief, he quickly turned it off. “Oh Changmin, you’re here?” he asked nervously.

 

He could see the flash of anger, disappointment, fear, and misery in his eyes. Changmin’s lips trembled and he was unmoving for some moment.

 

“I have to go.” He said.

 

And Changmin walked out the door.

 

Changmin’s expression was what made Yunho sure that the woman, An Sunyoung, _was her_.

 

*

 

There were police cars in Sunyoung’s apartment area. Changmin looked at his phone on the seat next to him.

 

Of course Sunyoung didn’t tell him anything.

 

Yuri called. His mother called. His father called. His mother called again. And again.

 

Changmin didn’t answer because he thought his mother would ask about Yuri. And the girl was fine. Nothing to worry about. And his father… Changmin didn’t know why he called but he just didn’t want to talk to him.

 

Fucking shit.

 

An Sunyoung what the fuck? Why did she do this to him? What Changmin lacked that she had to do this to him? And how could he be such a stupid idiot? How could he…

 

“Nuna, let’s just runaway together… and get married.” Changmin said one day, head on Sunyoung’s lap.

“Silly,” Sunyoung smiled down and combed his hair with her fingers. “Life is not as simple as that, Changmin.”

“But I can do anything! I mean, I can work and get enough money for us… I can cook too! Nuna, don’t have to worry about anything. My savings is enough for us to buy that small beach house you like so much.”

 

It wasn’t all about money, Changmin thought. But what else? He could provide anything for the woman he loved. Why the answer was always no?

 

His phone vibrated again.

 

“Mother! I’ve told you Yuri is-“

 

“Changmin-sshi?”

 

 _Fuck_.

 

“Yunho-sshi.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. Where are you now? It’s already late.” Yunho asked concernedly, his voice was small.

 

Changmin looked at the clock on his dashboard. 10.30. It wasn’t that late. But time passed so fast. Everything seemed like a running train in front of him.

 

“Changmin-sshi? Are you okay?”

 

“I am.”

 

Yunho didn’t answer and Changmin could hear his breaths. It somehow calmed him a bit.

 

“Okay… then…” Yunho mumbled before disconnected the call.

 

 Changmin felt disappointed and had never feel so alone in his life.

 

He drove to the river. Watched the calm water from inside his car. The sky was dark. He once visited the river with Sunyoung. She didn’t want to come out from the car because she didn’t want anybody to see. It was… embarrassing, she said. But Changmin just wanted to show her to the world, that this woman was belong to him. Wanted to kiss her in front of people, claimed her, that no other could ever touch her but him.

 

Now that he thought about it, not even once, the word _love_ came out from her lips. But Changmin was deaf to hear it anyway. Sunyoung hugged him and kissed him back, and he was dumb enough to think that action was better than words. He said I love you. Too many I love you. In the morning, before his classes started, when he texted her, after sex, and every time he felt like it.

 

And she would just smile. And kissed him. And he thought it was enough. It was _I love you_ enough.

 

Somehow, Sunyoung was right. Changmin was too young. Too young to understand, that this woman, didn’t love him. Didn’t have anything for him, no matter how much he’d give.

 

Changmin drove home. The street was already empty, it was past midnight. When he opened the door, the light was still on.

 

Yunho was curled on the couch like a baby bear, somehow made himself warmer by hugging himself. Changmin leaned down, hovered above his body and he could see the phone in his embrace, like Yunho wanted to wake up quickly when it rang. His face was a bit scrunched and his eyelids twitched.

 

His eyelashes were short, unlike Sunyoung’s long pretty strands. Yunho’s lips. Changmin always liked his lips. They parted and let out a surprised gasp.

 

“Changmin-sshi!”

 

Changmin startled and almost fell back.

 

Yunho wiped his mouth, afraid if he drooled or did something embarrassing in front of his fiancé. Did he snore? “You… you’re home…”

 

“I’m home.”

 

After Changmin washed up and came to bed, Yunho was already laying down with blanket covered his body. He turned off the light and sighed.

 

“Changmin-sshi…” Yunho called.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can I… can I ask you something?”

 

Changmin felt a bit nervous, but… what would Yunho ask anyway? “What is it?”

 

“Do you have somebody?” Yunho asked quietly.

 

Changmin’s heart stopped. “It’s over already.”

 

They both unmoving, laid on their back, staring to the ceiling.

 

“But… you can’t say it’s over if it didn’t even start, right?” Changmin said flatly. He could feel Yunho tensed up.

 

“I bet… you love her so much…”

 

Changmin could catch sadness in Yunho’s voice. But he didn’t know what to answer.

 

That night, Yunho had Changmin in his arms instead.

 

*

 

The smell of coffee and the sound of busy Yunho in the kitchen woke him up.

 

“How’s Yuri?” Yunho asked.

 

“She’s fine.”

 

“But, have you called her?”

 

Changmin didn’t answer but tasted his coffee.

 

“Have you?” Yunho asked again.

 

“I have.” Changmin put down his cup.

 

“When?”

 

 _Three days ago_.

 

“Changmin-sshi?” Yunho seemed like could read Changmin’s thought. He sighed. “Just give me her number. I’ll call her, is that okay?”

 

“Of course.”

 

After shower, Yunho asked Yuri to come to the academy.

 

“You can look around. It’s better than alone in the hotel.” Yunho said through the phone.

 

“Okay. Please text me the address, Yunho-sshi.”

 

*

 

Maybe because Yoochun was always nice around girls, but Minah didn’t mind. It wasn’t like she wanted Yoochun, anyway. It was nice to have him as a friend.

 

But it changed after the kiss. Minah felt more for the older guy. She thought about him more. What was that kiss for? It was hard to treat Yoochun as a senior, as a friend after that kiss. That was her first kiss and she was clueless, didn’t know what to do.

 

Maybe it was why she felt hurt… when she saw Yoochun had a meal together with a very beautiful lady in high heels and mini lacy dress. She giggled about something Yoochun said.

 

Well, of course Yoochun would never fail to make ladies laugh.

 

Yoochun didn’t ask to have lunch together that day. And Minah tried to ignore that actually, _she wanted to_. She wanted to have lunch _together_.

 

When Minah took her bag from the locker and walked out, she could hear the familiar voice was calling her. She wanted to ignore it, but he just came closer.

 

“Minah-yah…” Yoochun held her hand from behind. “Didn’t you hear me?”

 

“I… have to go home now.” Minah said, didn’t turn to look back.

 

“Okay, let me change my clothes first.”

 

“No! It’s no need, Sunbae.” Minah pulled her hand.

 

“Minah-yah… about…” Yoochun didn’t know how to say this. “The kiss…”

 

“Just forget it.” Minah cut him. She didn’t want to hear the rest. She didn’t want to hear how sorry Yoochun was, that it was a mistake that shouldn’t happen. A kiss was just a kiss, she told herself. It didn’t mean anything. “I have to go now.”

 

“But-“

 

Minah turned to bow to Yoochun before walked to the gate.

 

*

 

“Siwon practiced regularly here twice a week,” Yunho said as he poured a glass of tea for Yuri. “Every Tuesday and Thursday.”

 

Yuri didn’t give any sign that she was interested, but Yunho knew she was listening.

 

“Do you want to come tomorrow? Or I can give you a free membership too!” Yunho added with a grin.

 

“It’s okay, Yunho-sshi.” Yuri smiled as she put her cup on the table.

 

“Have you called your mother?” Yunho asked after some time passed.

 

Yuri looked up to him.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

 

“It’s okay.” Yuri cut. “I haven’t.”

 

“Why?” Yunho sat next to Yuri. “She’s worrying. She called your brother everyday, asking for you.”

 

“I know I should…” Yuri’s voice was small. “But I’m… I’m afraid if I heard her voice, I want to come back home…”

 

“It’s okay. Of course you can come back home.” Yunho said comfortingly.

 

“After I ran out, how can I just come back like that? That’s embarrassing.” Yuri scoffed.

 

“They’re your family. Nothing embarrassing about that.”

 

“Our family is different. I thought we were… strangers…” Yuri thumbed the hem of her lacy dress.   
“They don’t care about me.”

 

“Your mother does. And your brother too, apparently…” Yunho let out a little laugh.

 

Yuri laughed too. “Yeah… I never thought that… Oppa will ever give his scarf for me.”

 

“He did?” Yunho’s eyes widened.

 

“Yeah… and I thought you asked him to… but you didn’t?” Yuri asked.

 

“Wow, he’s much better than I think.” Yunho tilted his head. “No offence, Yuri,” Yunho quickly added. “-sshi,” he added again.

 

Yuri smiled to him. “It’s okay. You can be comfortable to me. You’ll be my brother in law, anyway.”

 

Yunho smiled back to her.

 

“And yes, I thought Oppa is getting better too… a better person.” Yuri said.

 

The door of his office opened and Yoochun walked in.

 

“Hyung,” Yoochun whined. “Oh Yuri-sshi, you’re here too…”

 

“What is it?” Yunho asked.

 

“Hyung… I think… Minah doesn’t like me.” Yoochun slumped on Yunho’s chair.

 

“Why?”

 

Yoochun wanted to tell Yunho about the kiss. How he felt towards Minah, how he never found someone like her, that he was afraid that he _actually_ liked her, that he wanted to date her, he wanted to try to be a good man just for her, but she… just… “She rejected me. I asked if I could drive her home and she said no.”

 

“Heh, of course. Any sane woman won’t accept your offer.” Yunho snorted.

 

Yuri giggled.

 

“Yuri, don’t accept such offer from this guy too, okay?” Yunho told Yuri.

 

“I have my own car, anyway.” Yuri sipped her tea calmly.


	7. Chapter 7

The election happened, but it didn’t muffle the corruption issues. Just like Yuri had predicted, Yoon Jinyi won and became the next president. She was angry, not because his father didn’t win, but because “He didn’t listen to me.”, but also glad because she could prove herself right.

 

**The Woman Phenomenon Behind the Corruption**

 

It made the headline. With large bold letters, and Sunyoung’s pictures when she got caught. Idly Changmin thought that it was great. People didn’t lost in the post-election euphoria. Poor Yoon President who had to take care of it right away.

 

Changmin decided not to buy the newspaper and just went to his car. Even if he didn’t read the news, he could hear it all. They confiscated An Sunyoung’s goods and they froze her accounts. The amount of cash surprised Changmin, and it even didn’t included the ‘gifts’ yet, branded watch with diamonds which cost same as a house, jewelries sets, and yeah, that beach house.

 

Changmin rented that beach house five years ago, during break and he went back for vacation to Korea. It was a small house, but it had everything it needed, with a magnificent view to the beach. They sat on the sand, hearing the song of the sea, feeling the breeze blew the salty air, and watching the sunset.

  
Changmin would put his arm around her, held her waist close and just wished that moment would last forever.

 

Nothing such _forever_ existed. Especially happiness. Or _love_.

 

It hurt just to think of that. How such sweet memories could turn into bitter ones and stabbed daggers to your heart.

 

Changmin had never loved someone but her.

 

The feelings he had for seven years just evaporated to thin air. Gone just like that. He couldn’t love anymore.

 

*

 

“Minah, this is Yuri,” Siwon said.

 

“Hello, nice to meet you,” Minah bowed to her.

 

Yuri bowed back.

 

“Yuri, this is my little sister I told you about.” Siwon continued.

 

Minah felt small beside Yuri. Her high heels made her taller than she already were. Her soft pink dress looked really feminine, her brown wavy hair was so soft and beautiful. Minah was just finished practicing, she still wore her hapkido uniform and hadn’t wear any footwear. Yuri’s fingers were manicured neatly, and Minah just hid her hands behind her back.

 

So his brother also knew this lacy dress lady? Minah saw her when she had lunch with Yoochun. Closer, she looked prettier and Minah really didn’t want to stand next to her.

 

“Minah, let’s eat. Oppa will treat you.” Siwon said.

 

“I… will go change. You go first, Oppa.” Minah said.

 

Siwon nodded. “Come on, Yuri.”

 

Minah came back to the locker room and looked into the mirror. Her hair was sticky and sweaty from practicing, she tied it into a ponytail and it was a mess now. Her eyes were small, unlike Yuri. Even after she changed, nothing really changed. She couldn’t be as beautiful as her. No wonder Yunho treated Minah like a little sister, she really looked like a girl. _Not a woman_ , Minah thought, as she combed her hair.

 

She sighed. Of course… Yoochun would prefer Yuri over her. Everybody would do.

 

When Minah stepped out, Yoochun was there.

 

“Hi Minah! Do you want to eat together? I’m so hungry right now!” Yoochun said cheerfully.

 

“I’m… eating with Oppa.” Minah looked down.

 

“Can I join too?” Yoochun asked.

 

Minah thought that she should’ve left quickly so Yoochun couldn’t reach her.

 

“Minah?” Yoochun asked quietly. “Did I… did I do something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?”

 

Minah fumbled with the hem of her tshirt. “You can join if you like, Sunbae.”

 

Yoochun frowned, but let Minah go.

 

*

 

In the end, they had lunch together. Siwon, Minah, Yoochun, and Yuri. But Siwon and Yuri were leaving first. Minah had a feeling that her brother liked Yuri, but didn’t say anything. After all, who wouldn’t like her? But she was nice to Minah. She didn’t talk much, but she smiled and asked whether Minah would like to come with them too.

 

“It’s okay, Minah will stay with me.” It was Yoochun who answered instead.

 

“Maybe I’ll be home later, Minah.” Siwon said.

 

“Okay, Oppa.” Minah nodded.

 

“See you,” Siwon patted Minah’s head before went.

 

After the couple gone, Minah got up from her seat but Yoochun held her hand.

 

“Minah, can we talk?”

 

Minah had no chance but slowly sat back down again.

 

“Just tell me… what I did wrong to make you hate me?” he asked in a small, low voice.

 

“I… I don’t hate you.” Minah looked at her hands on the table.

 

“Do you… don’t like me? Is it because I kissed you? You don’t like it?” Yoochun moved closer to her.

 

“It’s just me, Sunbae. I’m just…” Minah took a deep breath. “I’m just thinking about it way too much. But of course it didn’t affect you at all.”

 

Yoochun put his hand on top Minah’s to prevent her from running away. “I don’t understand.”

 

“It was just a kiss, right? And I shouldn’t think strangely about that. I mean… it doesn’t matter to you, but I’m just…” she stuttered.

 

“It matters to me!” Yoochun cut her.

 

Minah looked at Yoochun confusedly.

 

“Do you really believe Yunho Hyung? Minah, I don’t just kiss girl here and there! Well, I kinda was… but not anymore!” Yoochun quickly added. “Because… I really like you!”

 

Minah blinked.

 

And Yoochun thought her eyes were really pretty. “I like you, okay. I mean… I looked at you just as a little sister, but… I know how hard it is for you. When I found out that your parents passed away already… and you only live with your brother, yet you still had this smile on your face. You have positive thoughts despite all of the bad things that happened to you. You are a strong girl and I like that side of you…” he confessed. “And I just want to be there for you to protect you…”

 

Minah started to blush again. “But… I’m still a girl in your eyes…”

 

“Yes,” Yoochun brought Minah’s hand to his lap. “A girl I want to be my girlfriend.”

 

Minah looked into his eyes.

 

“Now, do you want me to be your boyfriend too?” Yoochun asked hopefully. “Even if your Siwon Oppa will kick my ass I will take the risk, Minah.”

 

Minah giggled, and nodded.

 

It was the best _yes_ Yoochun ever received in his life.

 

*

 

Yunho didn’t know what to do with Changmin.

 

His family went to the Shim’s house after the election, it was such a waste Mr Shim Ingeun didn’t win. But Yunho thought that he deserved it, especially after he mistreated Yuri. She didn’t want to stay home and decided to find a place for her own. Mrs Shim didn’t seem disturbed by the fact her husband didn’t win, and Mr Shim himself took the defeat quite well.

 

Yoochun gave him two musical concert tickets because he pitied Yunho and thanked him because of Yunho, and his unfortunate love story, he got Minah.

 

“Kim Junsu! You’ve heard of him? Doesn’t matter, he was good as hell!”

 

It was pricey and Yunho got the VVIP seats. He couldn’t just waste it.

 

“Do you want to go?” Yunho asked.

 

“If you want to, I’ll go.” Changmin replied.

 

Yunho sometimes hoped that Changmin would reject. Or said his opinion, instead of ‘if you do, I’ll do’. He didn’t have to agree to anything Yunho offered, dammit. It was like Yunho live with a robot with no feelings, but Changmin was worse than that. Because Changmin was a heartbroken robot. And it broke Yunho’s heart more knowing Changmin was breaking into pieces because of someone that _he loved_ , someone that wasn’t him. The more you loved, the more it hurt. And Changmin hurt a lot. More than a lot.

 

Yunho sat on the comfy velvet seat with Changmin next to him. The orchestra started to play and the curtain opened. Kim Junsu was an attractive man in his 20s. Yunho didn’t expect someone so young, but when he started to sing, his doubt disappeared.

 

When Yunho stole a glance to his left side, he could decide whether Changmin enjoyed it or not. The younger’s expression remained the same.

 

During MC time, Kim Junsu pointed some couples, and envied about how intimate and lovely they were. Yunho did feel envy too. He wanted to curse the love song he sang, and he hated it even more because he sang it perfectly.

 

The melody turned slower mellower and he started to sing the ballad.

 

*

 

Changmin didn’t want to hear. But he couldn’t closer his ear.

 

_With the erased time, I erase you_

_My heart that hasn’t reached you_

_It goes back to the sky, my dear_

He couldn’t reach her. He could never do.

 

*

 

Though Changmin’s eyes weren’t on stage, Yunho could tell Changmin could feel the song too. How it sneaked to his soul and reminded him of the reality.

 

Yunho had spent quite a long time with Changmin to know him well enough. To know how his eyes lightened up when he was with someone he loved, how he blushed shyly and he couldn’t hide his smile. To know the look in his eyes when he was torn, betrayed, and deceived. That no matter how she hurt him, he still had the longing look in his eyes.

 

Maybe Changmin’s love was too strong to break. But he didn’t know. He never felt it. He wanted to pretend that they were lovers at night, that Changmin would let him sleep in his arm and hugged him when his nightmares came. But the next day, they would be nothing. What happened at night didn’t matter.

 

When Yunho realized it, how much Changmin felt for her, it hurt him too. He should be the one closest to Changmin, he was his fiancé, but it didn’t guarantee him anything. In fact there he was, struggling with his own feeling. In love in his own, all alone.

 

Kim Junsu’s voice mixed with the flood of thoughts in his mind.

 

_I hope a love that is too painful_

_Was not love from the start_

 

*

 

Their families had a dinner in a fancy restaurant. When Changmin called his name, Yunho felt happy, thought that finally Changmin was out from his quiet attitude. But he was just telling Yunho that their mothers planned a dinner together. Yunho wondered why, didn’t know what to celebrate, since Mr Shim didn’t win.

 

Yunho started to getting used to the Shim’s family, their quietness and all, since he lived with Changmin and Yuri had visited the academy more. He didn’t mind the silence, but Mrs Jung broke the ice.

 

“So when we will hold the marriage?”

 

Yunho choked on the fishbone and when he stole a glance, he could see that Changmin stopped eating.

 

“Marriage?” Yunho said, after he drank the whole glass of water.

 

“Yes, darling.” Mrs Jung smiled.

 

It never crossed his mind that they were going to get married.

 

Seeing the sons clueless behavior, Mrs Shim decided it wasn’t the time yet. “Just let them talk about it first.”

 

So that was what the dinner for, huh.

 

They parted ways in the parking lot and before they got in, Yunho decided to talk about it now. “Changmin-sshi?” Yunho carefully called. “Can we talk?”

 

“Sure.” Changmin turned his head and face Yunho, they were standing beside the car.

 

“What do you think about the marriage?”

 

The thing was, Changmin couldn’t think at that time. “What about you?”

 

“Why are you asking me back?” Yunho felt tired that Changmin always asked him questions he gave, instead of answering them.

 

Changmin sighed. “If you want to do that, let’s do it, then.”

 

“How can you easily decide it like that?” Yunho narrowed his eyes.

 

“It’s not me deciding it. We’re supposed to do it. That’s what my parents want, and what yours want too.” Changmin calmly said.

 

“Your father lost the election. We didn’t have to get married. Don’t you remember what the purpose of… this?” Yunho frustratedly asked.

 

“We’re engaged already.” Changmin stated. “That leads to marriage.”

 

“It doesn’t have to.” Yunho said.

 

Changmin took a deep breath. “My father wants this. If I do and he’ll stop asking me to do things for them, I’ll do it.”

 

Yunho couldn’t believe what he just heard. “So… I’m just a free ticket for you? If you marry me, then you’re free from your father?!”

 

“Why are you saying it like it was a bad thing? You didn’t object to the engagement!” Changmin started to feel emotional too.

 

“Do you think marriage is a simple thing?”

 

“Well, isn’t it?” Changmin said sarcastically. “We’ve gone this far. Nothing happened. We can go further.”

 

 _What do you mean by nothing happened_ , Yunho wanted to scream. Yunho received all the pain. How could Changmin do this easily? How could he just say yes because he wanted to be free from his father? “What… about… love, then..?” he quietly asked.

 

“Love? What about it?” Changmin asked coldly.

 

“You marry someone love…” Yunho’s voice was shaky.

 

Changmin felt tired. “If we were to marry, I have to love you, is that what you mean?”

 

“God, no!” Yunho shouted. “ _Have to_ love me? Love is not something you can force!” Yunho’s vision got blurry with tears. “If you think that you have to _love me_ , please don’t!”

 

Yunho turned and walked away. Gosh, Shim Changmin! How could he be so low like that? Yunho kept walking, tried to clear his mind and held back his tears. He was a fool. A fool who fell in love alone. He hid himself in the shadow of a dark alley and leaned back to the bricked wall.

 

“Fuck,” he muttered in his breath.

 

Yunho didn’t expect this kind of fucking drama in his life. When he watched movies, sure he wanted a romantic kiss in the rain, a sweet confession written over a crumpled piece of paper, or announced in front of people. But just an ordinary love story was alright too. As long as they love each other. It was enough.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said.

 

Yunho could see Changmin’s boots standing in front of him, distance he couldn’t reach but he could hear him clear. Changmin followed him. Yunho didn’t expect that.

 

“I don’t know what love is. How do you think I suppose to do that?” Changmin continued.

 

“You don’t know it. You feel it.” Yunho said. “Just like your feelings to Sunyoung.”

 

Changmin stiffened and Yunho could sense it.

 

“When we had sex, you shout her name when you came.” Yunho whispered, his tears were unstoppable and he let them fell. “You love her that much, yet you still want the engagement, now the marriage. How can you do that?”

 

Changmin couldn’t answer.

 

Yunho held a sob. “I want this to be over.” _I’m hurting too much and I hope this isn’t love_. “Let’s just stop this.”

 

*

 

Changmin drove Yunho to his home. Luckily his parents had gone to bed and Jihye wasn’t in sight. Yunho didn’t bother to change and just laid on the bed.

 

He didn’t dream of the car crash.

 

He dreamed of a tall man with big brown eyes, walking passed him when he was just standing there, waiting for something that would never come.

 


	8. Chapter 8

They didn’t have an alarm clock. Yunho usually got up earlier and the smell of coffee or banging in the kitchen would wake Changmin up.

 

Changmin was late for his first class. He couldn’t sleep last night. He tried to close his eyes, but he didn’t feel tired at all. The bed was lacking something… someone.

 

Changmin tossed and turned, facing Yunho’s empty side of bed. Yunho’s pillow smelt like his shampoo and Changmin’s shampoo. Knowing the older man’s clumsiness, he’d just pour the shampoo without looking, sometimes it happened to be Changmin’s. The scent mixed well, his and Yunho’s.

 

He was the bad guy. More than bad guy. A guy who called another name during sexual intercourse. Changmin couldn’t feel worse than that. But… Yunho still care for him. He waited Changmin to go back home, and didn’t say anything about it. Yunho didn’t let his anger show.

 

The guilt suffocated him and he couldn’t just let Yunho hurt again. Maybe took him back home maybe was the best choice.

 

At first, Changmin thought that Yunho was the tough guy kind. He taught hapkido and his father was in the military. But seeing how excited Yunho was when they tried to cook together, how overloaded the smileys he texted him, how he trembled at night, haunted by his nightmares… Changmin couldn’t help but seeing him in a different light. Yunho had a… vulnerable side.

 

Changmin dreamed of having Yunho woke up next to him, smiling with his sunshine smile, let his thumb brushed his lips. The light was abnormally blinding and everything was white, unlike their bedroom.

 

When he blinked, it was all gone.

 

Changmin shouldn’t drown in this situation because he was already late. With empty stomach, he took the car keys and went to the university.

 

*

 

Yunho woke up late, his stomach was grumbling. He could hear the conversation from upstairs. Their parents went together to meet a colleague. Silently, Yunho came down and went to the kitchen, peeled a banana and searching for coffee.

 

“Omo! Oppa!” Jihye’s shout made Yunho choked on the banana. “Oh gosh, you surprised me!”

 

Yunho hardly swallowed the food inside his mouth.

 

“Oppa, why are you here?” Jihye asked. “What happened?”

 

Yunho turned and busied himself in making coffee.

 

“Oppa!” Jihye called again. “Is this has something to do with the dinner? Did you fight with Shim Changmin?”

 

Damn woman with their thoughts. “I just want to spend some time alone, Jihye.”

 

Jihye hummed. “Did he say something to you?”

 

 _I said something_. “No.” Yunho still refused to tell the truth. “I just decided that… we should spend some time alone, to think about it.”

 

“You know, yesterday they were talking about you.” Jihye said.

 

Yunho turned around and walked towards her. “What? Who?”

 

“You know, Mrs Shim and Shim Yuri.” Jihye stole Yunho’s coffee. “Ugh, Oppa! So bitter!”

 

Yunho made his coffee black without sugar because… that was Changmin’s favorite. How could he make it the way Changmin liked? It was his, dammit. He liked to add sugar and creamer, and he’d fucking add them now.

 

Jihye sat on the kitchen counter and watched Yunho stirred his coffee. “Mrs Shim thanked you for taking care of Yuri. What did she do, anyway?”

 

“Huh?” Yunho tilted his head. “What else?”

 

“Well… seemed like the Shims really like you, Oppa. They said you’d make a good son in law. And they said he made Changmin a better man,” Jihye giggled. “What did you to him, Oppa?”

 

“Aish, what are you talking about?” Yunho sipped his coffee. Something that once his favourite could taste so… different now.

 

“Ah, I didn’t think it will turn out like this…” Jihye sighed. “Oppa, how can that Shim Yuri sweet talk about you, huh?”

 

“She’s a nice girl, Jihye. Don’t think badly about her.”

 

Jihye gave Yunho a weird look. “Oppa, how do you get close with Shim Yuri, huh?”

 

Yunho sighed. “She ran away from home.”

 

“What?!” Jihye’s eyes widened.

 

“And she had been visiting the academy.” Yunho added.

 

“Why? How come?”

 

“Well, maybe she was there to see Siwon.” Yunho lifted his shoulders.

 

“Siwon?! Oppa! How can- how can they know each other?”

 

“They went together to buy things for my apartment, too.”

 

“Oppa!!” Jihye whined.

 

“Why?” Yunho asked, didn’t understand why Jihye was angry.

 

Jihye groaned and stomped back upstairs to her room.

 

“Jihye-yah!” Yunho called her. “Jung Jihye!”

 

“Why?!” Jihye shouted a reply.

 

“Don’t tell Umma I’m here, okay?!” Yunho said loudly.

 

“Aish! Oppa!”

 

*

 

In the end, Changmin didn’t go to his class at all. His mind wandered here and there and didn’t drive in the right direction.

 

His eyes spotted a poster. A man with water-drop like eyes. He knew this man. Oh right, Kim Junsu, Changmin read the name. He went to his concert together with Yunho.

 

Changmin stopped the car and got inside the store. Seemed like Kim Junsu was the trend with his musical album. The song he sang in the concert had packed into exclusive cds. Changmin took the headset and listened to the song.

 

He remembered this one during the concert.

 

_After letting you go forever_

_When I see the starlight_

_The unfinished days, the painful love_

_That flow down as my tears_

_Will I be able to erase them?_

Changmin scoffed. He knew the answer. _No_. Memories would stay, no matter how hard he tried not to think about it.

 

_I hope a love that is too painful_

_Was not love from the start_

It hurt too much. It wasn’t love for her, but it was love for Changmin, this stupid naïve Changmin. He should press down his feelings, control his mind, that it wasn’t love. He tried to convince himself. But what could he do, anyway?

 

Changmin sighed. He couldn’t love anymore. He didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was just a foolish childish feeling. He shouldn’t let himself suffer. The love that was too painful, wasn’t love.

 

But with Yunho… he was far from suffering.

 

Never once Yunho hurt his feelings. It was kind of a shock for Changmin, how much attention Yunho gave. He made him breakfast and tried to cook. He asked what his favorite food was and tried to make it, even though it led to a failure and mess in the kitchen. Yunho offered half of his dessert for Changmin, although Changmin already ate one.

 

Nobody had ever treated him so… special before.

 

And he acted like an asshole to his fiancé.

 

*

 

Yunho glad that Yoochun and Minah ended up together, though in the bottom of his heart he prayed that Yoochun wouldn’t hurt this little girl like he used to.

 

“Siwon know about this?”

 

“I… don’t know, Hyung. I think Minah hasn’t told him.” Yoochun rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“He can kill you, you know that?” Yunho muttered and he saw horror in Yoochun’s face.

 

“Oppa! Someone is here for you!!” Minah ran to him with a mischievous smile.

 

Yunho turned. “Who?”

 

“Oppa, he’s waiting in your office!” Minah said again, cheerfully.

 

Yunho thought that Minah looked much more energetic and happy with Yoochun beside him. “I can kill you too if you hurt her.” Yunho muttered to Yoochun, quietly so Minah wouldn’t hear.

 

“Got it, Hyung.” Yoochun gulped.

 

Yunho left the couple and walked to his office. Maybe it was another student’s parents. “Good afternoon, how can I-“

 

The tall man with broad back turned to face him. “Can we talk?”

 

Yunho kinda froze right then, but somehow managed to close the door behind him. He didn’t do any other movements so Changmin walked to him.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

 _About what_. “It’s not your fault.” Yunho didn’t look at him.

 

“It is.” Changmin said. “I did things I shouldn’t do.”

 

“It can’t be helped.” _When you’re in love_.

 

“Even so.” Changmin whispered. “I’m sorry.”

 

Yunho didn’t say anything.

 

“I bought you this.” Changmin said, put his hand inside his pocket and pulled out a square thing.

 

It was a cd.

 

“I don’t know if I should give you flowers… I mean, we’re men, and… I saw this in the store. We watched the concert, right? I thought you like him, so… I bought his cd.” Changmin offered the cd to Yunho.

 

Yunho received it and stared at the cover. Kim Junsu’s December. Changmin bought this because he thought Yunho liked him? Well, actually the concert tickets were given to him from Yoochun. It wasn’t because he liked Kim Junsu. But it wasn’t important. Changmin bought it because… he thought Yunho would like it.

 

Yunho gulped down his feelings. “Do you remember the song?” he asked. “That… here, it’s written here,” Yunho read one of the titles on the cd. “Love that is too painful was not love.”

 

Changmin’s eyes were still on him.

 

“It hurts, Changmin-sshi.” Yunho bit his lips, leaned back to the door and looked away, tried to hide his tears.

 

Changmin didn’t know that song was relevant for Yunho too. He thought… it was only him. How Sunyoung hurt him, and no matter how he wished it wasn’t love, it just… hurt too much. He didn’t want to love her anymore, but how could he? He found the answer when Yunho said that… _you can’t force love_.

 

Changmin didn’t know Yunho was just like him. But it was Changmin who hurt him. “You say… we shouldn’t get married if we don’t love each other.”

 

Yunho finally looked up to him, but this time, Changmin was the one who looked away.

 

Changmin eyes met Yunho’s. “But you cried too when you said we are over. Then… we shouldn’t end it, should we?”

 

Yunho took a deep breath. “Changmin-sshi, I don’t-“

 

Changmin pulled him to a hug. “Please… let me try once again.”

 

Yunho’s hand fell to his sides and he let Changmin engulfed him to his warm body.

 

“I’m sorry. Please give me another chance.” Changmin whispered to his ear.

 

Yunho sobbed into Changmin’s chest. He was such a fool for this man. He pushed him away weakly though he wanted to stay there forever. “I have a class to teach.”

 

“I’ll be waiting.” Changmin replied.

 

Yunho shook his head. “Don’t-“

 

“I will be there.” Changmin insisted. “I’m waiting.” He whispered.

 

*

 

Changmin did wait. He stared at him through the window and Yunho felt nervous all the time. He could hear Minah and Yoochun giggled from a corner but he ignored them.

 

When he finished and said goodbye to his students, Yunho came out to find Changmin near the door, offered him something.

 

“I bought the strawberry one for you,” Changmin offered him a bubble milk with a smile.

 

Yunho kinda missed that mismatched eyes when he smiled. “Strawberry?”

 

“You ate the strawberry last when we ate cheesecake.” Changmin smiled. “I thought you like them.”

 

Yunho knew this man was into detail, but… “Thanks…” Yunho mumbled. “But don’t you think it’s a little cold for bubble milk?”

 

Changmin almost frowned, but he covered it quickly. “Oh. Then… do you want to go to… the café?”

 

“Hyung!” a kid greeted Yunho.

 

“Oh, Suho-yah! You’re still here?” Yunho put his arm around his shoulder.

 

Suho nodded. “Umma is still picking up my brother from school. I’m waiting for them.”

 

“Oh, really?” Yunho ruffled his hair. “Suho-yah, do you want this?” Yunho put the bubble milk in front of his student.

 

“Oh? Is it for me, Hyung?” Suho looked up to him excitedly.

 

Yunho stole a glance to Changmin, who was eyeing the innocent kid in disbelief. “Yeah. Take this?”

 

“Really? Thank you, Hyung!” Suho stabbed the bubble milk with the straw and drank it. “Hmm, it tastes really good! Do you want to try, Hyung?” Suho offered.

 

Yunho sucked the straw and drank it. “Very refreshing, isn’t it?”

 

Suho nodded. “Thank you, Hyung!”

 

Yunho giggled and nodded. He didn’t think it would be this fun trolling Changmin.

 

“Oh Hyung, you’re with…” Suho just realized a strange ahjussi who was drilling with his eyes in front of them.

 

“Oh, yeah, he’s… my friend,” Yunho cleared his throat.

 

Suho bowed a greeting to Changmin, but forgot him just like that rightaway. “Hyung! You told me we’ll have a meal together before new year holiday… but even until now… we haven’t eat together!”

 

“Ah, you’re right, Suho-yah… should we go now?” Yunho asked.

 

Suho nodded enthusiastically, but then frowned. “Oh I can’t today, Hyung. I have a test tomorrow.”

 

Yunho pouted childishly. “Next time, then.”

 

“Got it!” Suho put his thumb up. “Oh Hyung, that’s Umma! I’m going now, Hyung! See you tomorrow!!” Suho ran to the car and waved to Yunho.

 

“Bye!” Yunho waved back to him.

 

“Ready to go, Yunho-sshi?” Changmin asked expectantly.

 

Yunho hummed. “Actually I to go somewhere.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

Yunho could hear the sarcastic tone, but also a little disappointment there. “I didn’t tell you to wait for me, did I?”

 

Changmin gave him a soft smile, and Yunho almost wavered. “You didn’t.”

 

Yunho nodded, turned and left. Tried to walk calmly though his heart was pounding fast, and took a deep breath when Changmin wasn’t in sight.

 

*

 

“Yah, Umma and Appa will be back tonight?”

 

“Of course!” Jihye chewed the french-fries. “By the way Oppa, why you suddenly call me? That’s strange…”

 

“Why, can’t I spend some time with my lovely sister?” Yunho winked.

 

Jihye narrowed her eyes. “Oppa, when you said Shim Yuri ran away from home… what happened?”

 

“Well, Mr Shim is too strict to her.” Yunho didn’t want to tell the whole story to Jihye.

 

“Really?” Jihye asked curiously. “Did he hit her?”

 

“Not to that extent. Maybe he was just… stubborn, you know?” Yunho slurped his cola.

 

“Then, what did they mean you take care of her?”

 

“Nothing much. Just… I invited her to come to the academy.”

 

Jihye hummed. “Oppa, you won’t tell Umma and Appa that you’re not living with Shim Changmin anymore?”

 

Yunho bit his lip. “Should I? I don’t want to make them worry, though…”

 

Jihye sighed. “Then, are you going back to your apartment tonight?”

 

Yunho huffed. “I don’t know…”

 

“Oppa, just tell me, did you fight with Shim Changmin? I know that guy wasn’t for you!” Jihye said.

 

Yunho shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. He’s just-“

 

“Oh, Oppa! He’s calling you!” Jihye pointed to Yunho’s ringing phone on the table.

 

“Omo, Jihye!” Yunho surprised himself. How could Changmin sense that they were talking about him?! “What should I do?”

 

“Answer it, Oppa!” Jihye answered quickly. “Hurry!”

 

“Oh! No, you answer it!” Yunho pushed his phone towards Jihye.

 

Jihye looked at Yunho curiously and pressed the button to answer. “Hello?”

 

“Yunho-sshi?” Changmin’s voice could be heard. Yunho had moved his seat closer to his sister. They stuck head to head with the phone between them.

 

“Yunho is in the bathroom.” Jihye said. “Who is this?”

 

Changmin didn’t answer at first. “I’m sorry. I will call later.”

  
Jihye looked at Yunho after they disconnected the call. “Oppa, you should go back to him… look, he’s looking for you!”

 

Yunho tsked. How could he just go home like that?

 

They talked more and Changmin called again. Jihye told him to pick it up, but Yunho refused.

 

“Aish, Oppa! You told me nothing wrong between you two, but you’re not answering his calls!” Jihye stated. “What is it?”

 

“I just… want to see...” Yunho said. “What will he do without me…”

 

“Eii, what’s that even mean…” Jihye mumbled.

 

*

 

Changmin didn’t know what Yunho’s favorite food was, but he was quite confident in making the potato pancake after he knew the right recipe. He cooked the dinner so it would ready when Yunho got home. _If_ Yunho would be back home.

 

Should he call?

 

Changmin looked at the clock. It was 7 and he thought how slow time passed.

 

He tried not to think much and called.

 

He should expect that Yunho wouldn’t answer.

 

So he went back to his cooking. He mastered the kimchi jjigae and the taste was getting better. The potato pancake was also a success, just have to wait until Yunho came home.

 

So he called again. Changmin knew, maybe Yunho would ignore this call too. He deserved it, after all- HE ANSWERED THE CALL.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Yunho-sshi?”

 

Wait.

 

It was a woman.

 

Why was Yunho with a woman.

 

“Yunho is in the bathroom. Who is this?”

 

 _I’m his fucking fiancé what was he doing with a woman and why was he in the bathroom_. Changmin tried to find the answer. Why. Why was Yunho with a woman? What was he doing? Why was he in the bathroom? Was Yunho in the bathroom, or _they_ were in the bathroom? And why were they together? “I’m sorry. I will call later.”

 

Changmin wasn’t jealous. _I’m just wondering_ , he thought as he checked the rice. _I’m just curious_ , he told himself.

 

*

 

“Oh, Umma, I’m with Yunho Oppa right now…” Jihye said as she tried another high heel.

 

Yunho felt tired after went through shops after shops. At least they had comfy seats in the shoes store.

 

“Oppa, Umma wants to talk to you,” Jihye handed the phone to him.

 

“Yes, Umma?”

 

“Son, what are you doing out so late… why aren’t you home with your fiancé?” Mrs Jung asked.

 

Yunho cleared his throat. “About that… Umma… do you think… if I… can I… what if I just go back home, huh? Back to our home?”

 

“Why are you coming back?” Mrs Jung asked curiously, and Yunho didn’t mishear the slight pressure in there. “Is there something happened between you and Shim Changmin.”

 

“No!” Yunho quickly replied. “Just… I mean, to take Jihye home…”

 

“Aish, don’t worry about that, son!” Mrs Shim said and Yunho breathed again.

 

“Umma, how can I let Jihye go home alone!? You’re the one saying it’s already late…” Yunho tried to find excuses. “That’s why, I will-“

 

“Don’t worry, I will tell Siwon to pick Jihye up.”

 

“But Siwon-“

 

“Siwon-sshi?” Jihye’s voice lightened up when she heard his name. “What about Siwon-sshi?”

 

“Jihye-yah, tell Umma you’ll go home with me, okay?” Yunho gave back the phone to Jihye.

 

“Yes, Umma?... what? I will go home with Siwon-sshi?...” Jihye sounded excited. “Of course! I’ll tell Oppa to go back to the apartment… okay, Umma!”

 

“Jihye-yah! How can you do this?” Yunho scolded her.

 

“Why Oppa? It’s the right thing to do! You have to go back to him!”

 

Yunho hissed. Jihye indeed felt happy above his misery. Not long after, Siwon was there, even offered Yunho a ride to his apartment. But Yunho was already feeling sulky so he refused that offer. He took the last train and waited. Not much passenger, so it was kinda cold and… lonely.

 

When he checked his phone, there were three missed calls from Changmin, and his phone even rang again. Changmin was calling him.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Yunho-sshi?”

 

Yunho bit his lip so he wouldn’t smile hearing Changmin saying his name. “Yes?”

 

“Where are you now?”

 

Yunho wanted to say, ‘It’s not your business’ but he didn’t have a heart to do that. “Train.”

 

“Oh? Where are you going?” Changmin asked.

 

Again, Yunho wanted to say ‘not your business’.

 

“Are you going home?” Changmin asked again.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

 

“I’ve told you I already in the train.”

 

Changmin didn’t answer and Yunho kinda regretted he snapped like that.

 

“Be careful, then.”

 

“I’m hanging up.” Yunho said, and he disconnected the call. He should’ve been nicer if he was to go home. It would be awkward for both of them, then.

 

Yunho counted to ten when he arrived at the door. He already pushed code number, he just had to open the door, but he didn’t have the courage to. Gosh why-

 

The door opened and Yunho’s hand was still in the handle so he was pulled along too.

 

“Yunho-sshi!” Changmin sounded surprised. “I thought I heard voices in front of the door, so I…”

 

“It’s me.” Yunho smiled bitterly and took off his shoes.

 

“Welcome home, then,” Changmin said and he moved aside, gave some space for Yunho.

 

 _Home_. It wasn’t weird to hear that… because it was, his home.

 

“I cooked dinner,” Changmin said.

 

“I already ate.” Yunho replied.

 

“Of course.” Changmin cleared his throat. “I’ll be eating, then… by myself…” he mumbled.

 

“Go ahead.” Yunho took off his coat and hung it. He really tried to ignore but failed, in the end stole a glance to the dining table and smelt the nice delicious food and his stomach wanted for more. He wanted to just walk to the bathroom, but his legs unconsciously brought him to the kitchen… and the potato pancake looked so golden and so well cooked and Yunho wanted to try, just a little biiiitt…

 

“Please, Yunho-sshi,” Changmin pushed the plate. “Try it.”

 

“I’m so full-“

 

“Do you remember when you asked the pancake recipe to the seller in the market? Well, I tried to make it, and it was fine. It’s embarrassing to say it myself, but it’s delicious.” Changmin chopsticks were ready, took a bit and offered it to Yunho. “Here,”

 

Well, it was already in front of his mouth, so… he just opened it and let Changmin put the pancake to his mouth and it was... nice. Oh fuck it, Changmin was right, it was delicious. Yunho nodded. “Good.”

 

Changmin smiled hearing the compliment.

 

And Yunho shamelessly ate another slice.

 

“Do you want the jjigae? I’ll reheat it for you.” Changmin asked.

 

“It’s okay,” Yunho said. He didn’t want to eat the jjigae because he had pride to keep, thank you. But his throat was dry from the potato. The jjigae soup made his mouth salivating.

 

Yunho stole a spoon of the soup when Changmin was pouring a glass of water.

 

Gosh, the taste was so Changmin. He remembered the taste. The kimchi jjigae Changmin cooked. Oh, that was the taste.

 

“It’s a bit cold, isn’t it?”

 

 _Oops_. The spoon had touched his lips, so, no way back. Yunho tried to just eat coolly, but ended up choking because he didn’t expect Changmin to find out.

 

Changmin quickly gave Yunho the water and the older man drank it. “I should’ve reheated it… I cooked hours ago but…” Changmin patted Yunho’s back gently.

 

Changmin had… cooked hours ago? But he didn’t eat yet? Did it mean that he waited for Yunho?

 

*

 

Yunho took his pillow outside, but Changmin said he’d sleep on the couch instead.

 

“You can sleep inside.” Changmin said.

 

“Okay,” Yunho didn’t want to argue.

 

But his pillow was still outside, meant that… he used Changmin’s pillow. And Yunho remembered the smell too… Changmin’s shampoo… and Changmin’s musky spicy smell. He smiled.

 

Though he was by himself in that large bed, Yunho slept well.


	9. Chapter 9

“Good morning,”

 

It sounded really awkward and Yunho almost cringed.

 

Changmin made a wonderful breakfast, hot chicken porridge and Yunho was ready with his spoon. Yunho didn’t want to admit it was delicious, but Changmin could see how much Yunho enjoyed his food and it was enough.

 

“Can we go to my home first?” Yunho asked as he put on the seatbelt.

 

“Your home?” Changmin asked, started the engine.

 

“Yeah. Yesterday I put my wallet in Jihye’s handbag and forgot to take it back.” Yunho said.

 

“Oh,” _Oh_. Yunho was with her sister yesterday! And to think of it, the voice of the woman was kind of familiar to Changmin’s ear. How could he don’t realized that? Just to think he was jealous over his sister was so… stupid.

 

“What’s funny?” Yunho asked to the chuckling Changmin.

 

“Your forgetfulness.” Changmin said.

 

“I am forgetful?” Yunho repeated.

 

Changmin hummed and leaned closer to Yunho.

 

Yunho put his hand on Changmin’s shoulder. “What are you doing?! You’re driving!”

 

“You used my shampoo again.” Changmin smiled and got back to his position.

 

“Well I’m sorry.” Yunho looked out to the window.

 

“Next time just buy one shampoo instead of two. We can use it together.”

 

Yunho didn’t reply because Changmin was… just then, he leaned and he thought Changmin was going to- NO. He wasn’t going to kiss him, Yunho _knew_ that, but he couldn’t help but surprised when the younger suddenly moved closer just like that.

 

“Aren’t you gonna be late to the campus?”

 

“My first class is at 10.”

 

“Then, you shouldn’t drive me to the academy… I can go by myself…”

 

“But we’re going to your parent’s house first.”

 

“It’s not gonna take hours.”

 

Changmin just chuckled.

 

“Do you want to come in?” Yunho asked as they arrived. “It’s not gonna take long, though.”

 

“I’m coming with you.” Changmin took off his seatbelt and followed Yunho.

 

“Oh? There’s a guest.” Yunho noticed an unknown pair of shoes in front of the door. “Jihye-yah!”

 

“Oppa!! You won’t believe who’s here~!” Jihye’s voice welcomed them.

 

“Who?” Yunho asked as he came in.

 

Changmin was taking off his shoes but he could hear Jihye was squealing and Yunho shouted in surprise. When he stepped in, he saw Yunho was hugging a man, intimately, and they were laughing and fell into the couch. Didn’t let go of the hug.

 

“Yah!! When did you arrive?” Yunho smacked the man’s chest.

 

The man giggled. “This morning! I came but only Jihye is here.”

 

“Aish! Jaejoong-ah, I miss you very much!!” Yunho pulled him to a tight hug again.

 

“I miss you too, Yunnie…”

 

 _Yunnie?_ Changmin just stood there, dazed with the view presented to him.

 

Jihye kicked their legs and pointed to Changmin quietly.

 

Yunho quickly stood up and cleared his throat. “Right. So… Changmin-sshi, this is Kim Jaejoong.”

 

Changmin walked towards the man. He had pretty eyes and killer smile. Changmin shook his hand awkwardly. “Nice to meet you,”

 

“Hello,” Jaejoong grinned.

 

Yunho felt a bit uncomfortable. “Okay. So… Jihye, I’m taking my wallet?”

 

“Here,” Jihye gave the wallet to Yunho. “I took ten thousand won but it’s okay, right, Oppa?”

 

“Aish,” Yunho hit Jihye’s head lightly with the wallet. “I’m going now, then…”

 

“Aw, Yunho! Where? We just met!” Jaejoong held Yunho’s hand.

 

“The academy, I have to go… visit me later!” Yunho smiled.

 

“Of course!” Jaejoong put his thumbs up. “I’ll go later.”

 

“See you!” Yunho waved.

 

Jaejoong blew him a kiss.

 

“Oh~~ I don’t expect Jaejoongie’s home…” Yunho sighed in happiness when they were in the car. “When we were kids, my father also trained him together with me, you know… we used to run in the neighborhood and Jaejoong was always losing. My father also taught him hapkido, but he wasn’t really good at it and he was crying. Hahahaha… so at night, he’d sneak to my room and learn from me because he was scared of my father…” Yunho grinned when he remembered his past.

 

“So he’s your childhood friend?”

 

“Yes! His house was just next to me! Jaejoongie, Siwonnie, and I always played together. Jaejoong even took care of Jihye well, because he didn’t want her to be left behind… he’s really good at cooking! He always shared his meal with Siwon because his mother had passed away… he’s very nice… I’m so happy that he’s come back!”

 

*

 

“Yah! Why didn’t you tell me he’s your fiancé?!” Jaejoong slapped.

 

“It’s arranged, Jaejoong. It’s not like we’re engaged because I love him or he loves me.” Yunho said. “It’s our parents plan. His father was up for the president election and you know, my father was in the military.” He passed the ice cream bucket to Jaejoong.

 

“But Yoon Jinyi won.” Jaejoong received it. “So it’s done?”

 

“What done?”

 

“You and him.”

 

Yunho didn’t answer but ate a mouthful of the vanilla ice cream.

 

“Yunho-yah,” Jaejoong nudged Yunho’s leg with his. “Don’t tell me you loved him for real!” Jaejoong accused.

 

“No!” Yunho quickly replied. “Not that!”

 

 “Then what?”

 

“We’re just… not thinking about it.” Yunho swirled his spoon inside the bucket.

 

Jaejoong gave him a strange look but didn’t say anything about Yunho changing the topic, asked how his life was in Japan.

 

*

 

_Changmin-sshi, u don’t have to pick me up ><_

_I’m staying at Jaejoong’s tonight ^^v_

_From: Jung Yunho_

Changmin didn’t know what to reply.

 

It wasn’t like he could forbid Yunho from seeing his friend. Jaejoong was his old friend anyway, and surely, Yunho liked him a lot. Jihye looked so close with him too. It shouldn’t be a problem, right? Well, unless, Changmin was _the_ fiancé. He was the one Yunho supposed to like. Jihye supposed to favor him to, as a future sister in law, right?

 

That should be him.

 

But it was Jaejoong instead.

 

He replied a short yes and dumbly waited for a reply. Well of course it never came.

 

He didn’t know what to do with the sweet and sour pork he just bought from his favorite restaurant. He happened to buy jajangmyeon to, just in case Yunho felt like eating it.

 

He took his phone and called. “Yuri-yah, have you eat dinner?”

 

*

 

“So what, you have a boyfriend?” Yunho asked, watching Jaejoong cooked.

 

“Yunho!” Jaejoong scolded, busy with his jjigae.

 

“I remember you tried to kiss Siwon back then!” Yunho giggled.

 

“We were just a kid, okay.”

 

“You were in highschool, Jaejoong.” Yunho stated.

 

“Okay. So what, I’m just curious, okay!”

 

Yunho laughed and stole the fresh fried eggroll. “Girlfriend, then?”

 

“Ew, no.” Jaejoong sprinkled some salt. “Is Siwon coming or not?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t want to leave Minah, you know how overprotective he can be.”

 

“Right. Come on! Dinner’s ready!” he smacked Yunho’s butt to get him off the kitchen table and put the hot pot of jiggae.

 

“Oh? Kimchi jjigae?” Yunho sat on the chair and eyed the soup.

 

Jaejoong hummed. “Try it.”

 

Yunho tasted a spoon. It was delicious. Too delicious for his tongue. Somehow… it wasn’t… the way he liked it.

 

“Good?” Jaejoong asked hopefully.

 

“Very good,” Yunho tried another spoon, tried to clear everything in his mind because the smell of the similar kimchi jjigae brought him somewhere with someone. “Always very good,”

 

*

 

“You bought so many, Oppa…” Yuri was holding her chopsticks, didn’t know what to eat first.

 

“Because we’re men who ate a lot, okay,” Changmin said.

 

“Of course.” Yuri scooped some of her rice and put it to Changmin’s bowl. Her brother put the rice too much for her. “Where’s Yunho Oppa anyway?”

 

“He’s out with an old friend.”

 

“Drinking?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Yuri hummed as she munched her food. “Oppa do you want the rest of my rice? I think I want the jajangmyeon.”

 

Changmin said nothing but took Yuri’s rice bowl.

 

Yunho always made a mess out of his face and his eating space with the black jajang sauce and Yuri ate with such manner that there wasn’t even a drop of sauce dirtied the table. But Changmin wipe it clean, just because.

 

*

 

“I don’t know you can drink this much.” Yunho was still on his first can of beer but Jaejoong was opening his third one.

 

“I really miss this brand. They don’t have it in Japan.” Jaejoong gulped his beer like water.

 

Yunho said ‘oh’ as he watched Jaejoong in amazement.

 

“Hey, by the way, how’s Jihye?” Jaejoong straightened his legs.

 

“Why, you like her?” Yunho asked suspiciously.

 

“Oh please, Yunho,” Jaejoong opened another can for Yunho. “I’ve seen her naked.”

 

“Yah!” Yunho hit Jaejoong with an empty can. “That’s my sister you’re talking about!”

 

“But don’t you think she kinda like Siwon?”

 

“Siwon?”

 

“Uh huh,” Jaejoong wiped Yunho’s beer stained chin. “You don’t know it?”

 

“Siwon is going out with Yuri. You know, Changmin’s sister.”

 

“Ouch.” Jaejoong’s eyebrows furrowed. “So Changmin has a sister.”

 

“Yeah,” Yunho gulped down his beer. “Younger sister.”

 

“What else Changmin has?” Jaejoong nudged Yunho’s shoulder.

 

Yunho was thinking. Did Jaejoong mean like… material? Because he was sure the Shims were richer than his family.

 

“Big cock?” Jaejoong continued before Yunho could answer.

 

“Kim Jaejoong!” Yunho shouted.

 

“Omo Yunnie… you’re blushing!! Ahahaha…” Jaejoong laughed. “Why are you so red? Shim Changmin has big cock?”

 

“Gosh, stop it!” Yunho could feel his hot cheeks.

 

“You’ve had sex with him?” Jaejoong asked curiously.

 

Yunho just gulped down the rest of his beer and opened another one.

 

“Yunho-yahh…”

 

“I’m not gonna answer that.”

 

Jaejoong smirked. “Whatever. I can make you drunk and spill anything.”

 

*

 

“Did you really just ask me that?”

 

“What?” Changmin asked. Did he say something wrong? “It’s night already. You really coming back to your place?”

 

Yuri scoffed.

 

“It’s snowing.” Changmin pointed out to the window.

 

Yuri sat back down to the couch. “I’m staying not because you asked me to.”

 

“What?” Changmin looked at his sister.

 

“Because… this is the first time you’re being nice to me? I don’t know…” Yuri smirked.

 

“I’m not nice to you?” Changmin asked.

 

“You’re not an evil brother, doesn’t mean you’re nice either.” Yuri sighed.

 

Changmin snorted.

 

“Oppa,” Yuri called. “I… like Yunho Oppa.”

 

“Why?” Changmin’s senses woke up when he heard that name.

 

“He’s so nice, and kind. I mean, the way he treat people, you know.” Yuri lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know a person could be so… thoughtful and caring.”

 

Well yeah. That was exactly what Changmin thought too.

 

“Do you like him too?” Yuri asked.

 

“I do.” Changmin admitted and Yuri smiled.

 

He gave a towel for Yuri to wash up. He lent his tshirt and sweatpants for her too.

 

“Are you really gonna sleep on the couch?” Yuri asked when she entered the bedroom.

 

“You want to sleep with me?” Changmin _never_ slept with his sister, even when they were kids.

 

“I just know you’re not that nice to let me sleep on the bed.” Yuri shrugged and Changmin snorted. “Just sleep here. But don’t touch me, thinking that I’m your fiancé.”

 

“What?!” came Changmin quick reply.

 

“What? Don’t think that I don’t know why you called me here, Oppa.  I know you feel lonely because Yunho Oppa is always here.” Yuri said calmly, pulled the blanket to cover her.

 

_Yunho is always here._

 

As Changmin saw Yuri’s back facing him, he thought, how nice it would be if Yunho was there.

 

*

 

Yunho woke up in the bed alone.

 

He remembered Jaejoong put him to bed.

 

But he didn’t remember that he was…

 

NAKED. “JAEJOONG!!!!!!”

 

Yunho grabbed the blanket and covered his bare body. Fuckfuckfuckfuck what fucking happened last fucking night, fuckit!!

 

“Jaejoong aahh~~~” Yunho whined.

 

“What is it? What is it?!” Jaejoong barged in the bedroom.

 

“Why am I naked? Did we… oh fuck, Jaejoong, please don’t tell me that we-“ Yunho asked panicky.

 

 Jaejoong tsked and got out from the room.

 

“Jaejoong-ah!!” Yunho cried.

 

“Shut up will you!” Jaejoong shouted from the kitchen.

 

Why Jaejoong such a meanie? “Jae…”

 

Yunho could hear conversation out there faintly, the sound of the door being opened, and closed. Jaejoong came back to the bedroom.

 

“Somebody was outside?” Yunho gasped. “Why am I naked?” Yunho remembered, he was still covering his body with the blanket.

 

“You fucking puke on my fucking expensive carpet last night. It was a laundry ahjumma.” Jaejoong’s hands were on his hips. “You puke and you fell all over the mess. I have to strip you off your clothes.”

 

 _Oh_.

 

“Go shower first. I’ll make you breakfast.” Jaejoong said as he left the room.

 

Yunho grabbed his boxer on the chair and went out to find Jaejoong in the kitchen. “But why don’t you lend me your clothes?”

 

“They don’t fit you,” Jaejoong said playfully. “And it’s fun to see you naked, while… you know, you were moaning his name last night… ‘Changmin… Changmin-ah’ while getting hot by yourself.”

 

Yunho’s jaw dropped. “I fucking did not!”

 

“Heheh, yeah, of course.” Jaejoong said sarcastically.

 

“Yah, Kim Jaejoong!” Yunho hit Jaejoong’s with a big fat cucumber.

 

“Ouch, that’s hurt! Okay, okay, I’m kidding, I’m kidding…” Jaejoong laughed.

 

Yunho tsked and left to the bathroom.

 

“Not kidding!” Jaejoong shouted so Yunho would hear it.

 

Yunho groaned and slammed the door shut.

 

*

 

Yunho was thinking. Hardly. Tried to remember, did he, _really_ , moaning Changmin’s name when he was drunk?

 

Oh, he shouldn’t believe Jaejoong! He really shouldn’t!

 

But what if Jaejoong didn’t lie?

 

Actually he could get the answer by asking Jaejoong, but he didn’t dare to ask. He didn’t want to show Jae that he was _actually_ cared about it. Maybe if he didn’t blush when Jae mentioned Changmin’s big cock (ehem), he wouldn’t tease Yunho that he was moaning the younger man’s name.

 

“Yunho-sshi?”

 

Yunho almost jumped in his own seat.

 

Fuck!

 

There was another knock on his door.

 

“Come in,” Yunho said, and the door opened.

 

“Hi,” there was Changmin.

 

Of course! Who else would call him Yunho- _sshi_.

 

“I’m arrived so… I just go to your office.” Changmin closed the door behind him. “Yuri said this restaurant has great pancakes, so I… bought them.”

 

“Oh,” Yunho just noticed Changmin was carrying a bag.

 

Changmin was busy preparing the pancakes while Yunho eyed him. He wore stripped shirt and sweater, paired with jeans. Changmin was gorgeous. Damn, he was always gorgeous, Yunho sighed. His long fringed covered his eyes and Yunho’s hand itched to brushed it back.

 

“Honey?”

 

Yunho’s heart raced. Did Changmin called him… “Yes?”

 

“Honey?” Changmin asked again.

 

Gosh, Yunho didn’t know Changmin was such a guy! They didn’t even pass the phase where they dropped the formalities, but, he called me… honey?

 

“Do you want honey?” Changmin asked again. “On your pancake.”

 

“Of course!” Yunho said, as if nothing happened though he was so embarrassed he just wanted to hide under the wooden floor. “Yes please.”

 

Changmin didn’t know why Yunho flustered when he asked whether he wanted honey, or jam on his pancake. Maybe because he was too distracted on Yunho’s chest. Fuck, he was still wearing the hapkido uniform and the slit revealed his smooth chocolate skin.

 

“This is really nice,” Yunho said as he chewed.

 

Changmin just made a noise because his mind was kinda elsewhere then. He was sitting on the chair while Yunho was sitting on the table in front of him and he was eye to eye with that glorious chest.

 

“Changmin-sshi, your chin… you have a little-“ Yunho pointed his finger on his chin.

 

“Nothing,” Changmin’s hand came up and brushed Yunho’s chin.

 

Yunho chuckled. “Not _my_ chin, yours…” he leaned down to the younger guy, brushed his thumb on Changmin’s chin and wiped it. “There.” Yunho sucked on his finger.

 

And it made Yunho’s lips glistening with the saliva and sticky honey and it was red as ever and pouted too and-

 

Changmin cleared his throat. “Are you coming home tonight?”

 

Yunho hummed. “Are you picking me up?”

 

“I’m… just visiting.” Changmin said. “Also picking you up, in case you wanna go home.”

 

“Should I go home?” Yunho bit the plastic fork.

 

Changmin looked down. “If you… want to…”

 

“Do you want me to?” Yunho wanted to rip off his head out of frustration. Why couldn’t Changmin get straight to the point?

 

Changmin huffed and put away the empty paper plate. “I can’t force you.”

 

“Do you want me to?” Yunho asked again, leaned down so he could see Changmin’s face.

 

“Yunho-sshi-“

 

“Yes or no?” Yunho grabbed Changmin’s chin, turned his face to him.

 

Changmin gulped and looked away.

 

Yunho sighed. “I’m just gonna spend another night at Jaejoong’s then.”

 

Changmin shrugged. “Okay,”

 

“You… just gonna let me stay with him?” Yunho put his plate aside.

 

“I understand if that’s what you want.”

 

Yunho groaned and jumped off the table, stood in front of the younger man. “If you don’t want me to spend time with him, just say it!”

 

Changmin stood up, towering Yunho with his height. “He’s your old friend! He knows you better than I do, everybody like him! Your sister, your bestfriend, Siwon, your parents…” he took a deep breath. “I’m just like… an outsider, a stranger, suddenly come into your life, while he had been there forever. If you chose him over me, then, it can be helped!”

 

Yunho cradled Changmin’s face with his hands. “Do you want me to go back home?”

 

Changmin closed his eyes. “Come back to me.”

 

Yunho pulled him down to a kiss, he could feel Changmin startled, but kissed back. Two strong arms went around his hips and hugged him closer. “Our first kiss.”

 

Changmin scoffed a smile and leaned down again to capture Yunho’s lips, bit his lower lip gently and sucked it, brushed his tongue on it. Yunho closed his eyes, felt Changmin’s tongue shyly poked his and they were dancing inside his mouth. He could taste the sweet honey and sucked Changmin’s tongue for more. Yunho’s finger combed Changmin’s hair and pulled the man closer, as if he wanted to suck the life out of him.

 

Changmin moved to kiss Yunho’s chin, down to his jaw, neck and sucked on it, bit on his collarbone and Yunho moaned. His hands went under Yunho’s uniform to caress the skin. It shivered under his touch and Changmin kiss it just to feel it trembled. His hands moved to slip the uniform off Yunho’s shoulder and he spotted Yunho’s brown nubs. He gave a testing lick to the left nipple while his thumb brushed the right one, and sucked.

 

His heartbeat was getting faster and Yunho’s breath got heavier, he was still worshipping Yunho’s chest while his other hand wandered down to his inner thigh.

 

“Changmin-“ Yunho muttered under his breath.

 

The hard muscle of Yunho’s thigh was a contrast to his soft fleshy chest and Changmin fucking loved it. He was on his knee and Yunho bent down, held himself with his helpless hand on Changmin’s shoulder while his other hand covered his mouth, held the whimpering that threatened to go out.

 

Yunho tried to stand just to realize what was coming. Changmin was kneeling in front of him, hand pulled down his pants and his underwear and fuck, Yunho didn’t know he was hard as rock and his cock was in front of Changmin’s face.

 

Changmin looked up to him, put his finger on his lips, “Shh…”

 

And Yunho could feel the air blowing to his cock and it twitched _._

 

Changmin put his hands on Yunho’s hips and kissed the tip of his cock. His lips were slightly chapped and the rough texture made Yunho’s sensitive dick became crazy. His hand held the table behind him and he watched Changmin opened his wide mouth, put his cock in, and su-

 

“Hyung!”

 

 _FUCK_.

 

Yunho startled and lost his grip on the table. What Changmin did to his erection made his legs as weak as jelly. He lost balance and fell to the front.

 

All over Changmin.

 

With his cock still in his mouth and he kinda choked Changmin with it and Changmin was gagging and the effect made Yunho groaned.

 

“Hyung, are you in there?” there was another knock on the door.

 

“Wait!”

 

It was a mess.

 

But Changmin pulled back and Yunho quickly put his pants on, ignored Changmin who was still on the floor, rearranging his uniform in a rush.

 

“Hyung! Are you okay?”

 

Yunho could hear the clicking sound of the handle. “Don’t come in!”

 

“… what happen?”

 

Yunho opened the door, just a bit to show his face. “Nothing happen.”

 

Yoochun looked curious. “What?”

 

“Why you here?”

 

“I’m giving the scores you asked for my class.” Yoochun gave him a paper.

 

“Sure.” Yunho took the paper. “What else?”

 

“Um, nothing?” Yoochun lifted his eyebrows.

 

“Then you can go.”

 

Yoochun eyed him suspiciously from head to toe. And he saw. “Hyung! It’s inappropriate!”

 

“What?!” Yunho asked.

 

“Your erection!”

 

*

 

Changmin watched Yunho’s back as his fiancé was talking with Yoochun.

 

Ugh.

 

That was the worst cockblocking he ever experienced in his life.

 

Changmin took a deep breath and rubbed his erection, once, twice, and he had to hold himself because the image of Yunho, totally debauched with his uniform stripped was too sexy to his mind.

 

He could hear the door closed and Yunho turned to face him. “Ha ha.”

 

Changmin let out the awkward laugh too.

 

“I totally have to go home with you.” Yunho said.

 

Changmin smirked.

 

They kissed again in the car and Changmin tried to drive as fast as he could. They almost ran inside the building to reach the elevator.

 

“Yunho-yah!”

 

Changmin stopped and Yunho turned.

 

“Gosh, I know this is annoying, but my parents and yours went for a double date and they drop me off here.”

 

Changmin froze.

 

“Oh… is that so?” Yunho smiled, though it was more like a stretch on his lips.

 

Jaejoong pouted. “I’m really sorry, though,”

 

“No, no, it’s okay,” Yunho held Jaejoong’s hand. “It’s fine, right, Changmin-sshi? Jaejoongie can make us a wonderful dinner.”

 

“I’m sorry for disturbing the night, Changmin-sshi.” Jaejoong smiled to him sweetly.

 

Changmin instructed his brain to say something. “Ha ha.”


	10. Chapter 10

Changmin excused himself for a shower while Yunho was busy with Jaejoong.

 

Shit.

 

He was turned on but he was too frustrated and Changmin decided to just ignore his half hard cock. When he finished and it was Yunho’s turn to shower, he went out to buy some drinks. Actually because he didn’t want be left alone with Jaejoong.

 

“Do you want anything?” Changmin asked.

 

“Oh please, don’t let me trouble you,” Jaejoong was chopping the onion and Changmin had to admit that  this guy could cook.

 

“Okay.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll be back.”

 

*

 

Yunho felt _really_ lucky because Jaejoong didn’t notice his erection. He didn’t even change his clothes and still wore his hapkido uniform because they were rushing to-

 

Ehem.

 

That was the first time Yunho disappointed seeing Jaejoong. He just hoped that something would happen, preferably sex, and of course the shout of the right name. His name.

 

He turned on the shower and let the water drenched him, hand wrapped around his cock, and jerked. Oh, shit, it would be much much better with Changmin’s mouth around him, engulfed him in the hot wet heat. With his tongue trailed the visible veins and sucked the precum came out from the slit. And Changmin’s hand would roam to his ass, massaging it while he fuck Changmin’s big wide mouth, choked him with his erection.

 

Yunho fingered himself, teased the hole with his left hand while the other hand busy jerking his hard cock. Oh gosh, how wonderful it would be if Changmin was there. He should’ve joined him in the bathroom earlier, maybe they could continue. He’d lather Changmin’s slim body worshipped his long chocolate cock.

 

 _Oh fuck_.

 

Yunho leaned to the cold tiles and jerked faster, moved his hand up and down his hardness. Shit, could Changmin deep throated? Took all of Yunho in his mouth, until his lips reached the root, and…

 

Fuck.

 

Yunho came in his hands. Body flushed and breaths heavy, but felt completely unsatisfied.

 

He took the towel and dried himself, wrapped it around his waist and came out.

 

“Where’s Changmin?” he asked when he found out his fiancé wasn’t there.

 

“He’s buying drinks.” Jaejoong put something in the boiling pot.

 

“What are you making?” Yunho looked at the stove from Jaejoong’s shoulder.

 

“Fish soup.” Jaejoong put some pepper powder in. “I bought the groceries, no need to thank me.”

 

“Huh,” Yunho snorted. “Put it more, Changmin like it spicy.”

 

“Oh, he does?” Jaejoong turned his face to Yunho.

 

Yunho hummed. “He makes a great kimchi jjigae.”

 

“Better than me?”

 

“No,” Yunho admitted. But he kinda like Changmin’s than Jaejoong’s jjigae. “But he makes the best potato pancake.”

 

“That Shim Changmin isn’t as bad as I thought.” Jaejoong said as he turned the fire low.

 

“Who says he’s bad?” Yunho asked.

 

“I know that Jihye isn’t fond of him. And I know your type, Yunnie. And he’s not on the list.”

 

“What’s my type anyway?”

 

“That funny guy type who made you laughed. Warm, friendly, and get close to your family and life easily. Smile to your friends and have a nice vibe that made people around him comfortable.”

 

“Well, he’s not that kind of man, but it doesn’t mean he’s that bad, okay.” Yunho said.

 

Jaejoong smirked and gave Yunho a weird look in the eye.

 

“What is it.” Yunho _hate_ this look. That accusing, ‘are you kidding me’ look.

 

“So I see you like him.” Jaejoong grinned. “Don’t you enjoy it so much living with him?”

 

“I don’t!” Yunho replied quickly. “Just because I said that he’s not bad, doesn’t mean I like him, right? It’s just a fake engagement and living together is just… a convenience. And… you’re the one who’s saying he’s not my type.”

 

Jaejoong wanted to say something, but held himself and sighed. “If you think so…” he got back to his soup. “Here, try this.”

 

*

 

Changmin bought cans of beer and bottles of soju from the minimarket near the apartment building. He dragged his time and succeeded in wasting 15 minutes in the lobby, read boring magazine and helped an old lady with her groceries. She gave Changmin an apple he ate right away. Decided to finish the apple before he got back to his apartment.

 

“I know that Jihye isn’t fond of him. And I know your type, Yunnie. And he’s not on the list.”

 

Changmin could hear Jaejoong’s voice through the slightly opened door, decided to hold his steps and listened.

 

“What’s my type anyway?” came Yunho’s reply.

 

“That funny guy type who made you laughed. Warm, friendly, and get close to your family and life easily. Smile to your friends and have a nice vibe that made people around him comfortable.”

 

Jaejoong knew a lot about Yunho, huh? Well of course, he was his old friend. They grew up together and Changmin wondered if there was something he knew about Yunho that Jaejoong didn’t know. He knew, by the way, that he was far from Yunho’s type.

 

“So I see you like him.”

 

Changmin’s held on the plastic bag tightened. Did Yunho really… like him? If Jaejoong really knew Yunho that well, then… that could be, right?

 

“I don’t!” came Yunho quick reply, and Changmin almost lost his grip. “Just because I said that he’s not bad, doesn’t mean I like him, right? It’s just a fake engagement and living together is just a convenience. And you’re the one who’s saying he’s not my type.”

 

Changmin should’ve expected this. A guy like Yunho, wouldn’t like a cold guy like him. They were too different. And people said different was good, you could complete each other. But Changmin guessed, their relationship was an exception. When Yunho said, fake engagement, did it mean that Yunho told everything to Jaejoong? Changmin should’ve known that, they wouldn’t keep a secret from one another.

 

And yeah, living together was just a _convenience_. It wasn’t like they attached to each other. They just stuck with each other. Yunho was stuck to be with him, to be exact. Changmin started to enjoy it. Felt happy from the hot coffee Yunho prepared in the morning and Yunho’s gentle massage when he read his textbook.

 

Changmin forgot that it was a fake engagement and didn’t know why he was fighting for this.

 

When he opened the door, Jaejoong was feeding Yunho a spoonful of soup with his hand on Yunho’s bare back.

 

His fiancé was just wearing a towel around his waist.

 

Changmin put the plastic bag on the table and that was the time Yunho noticed him. He complimented Jaejoong’s cooking and went to the bedroom, put on clothes.

 

Changmin sat in front of Yunho, who was sitting beside Jaejoong. It was the best homemade cooking Changmin ever had and he had to hold himself for taking food excessively.

 

“Is it good enough, Changmin-sshi?” Jaejoong asked.

 

Changmin nodded. “It’s delicious.”

 

Jaejoong smiled. “I live alone in Japan so I have to cook by myself. Practices make perfect, right?”

 

“But Jaejoongie is a very good cook even when before he moved to Japan.” Yunho patted Jaejoong’s thigh.

 

Changmin wiped his mouth. “Of course.”

 

“So, Changmin-sshi, what do you do?” Jaejoong asked.

 

“I’m just a university student, Yunho-sshi didn’t tell you that?” Changmin asked, eyes to Yunho.

 

Yunho hid his face in his ricebowl, but Jaejoong remained calm. “He might be, but I forgot.”

 

“Well, I’m just a student.” Changmin ate his rice. “What about you, Jaejoong-sshi?”

 

“I work in a fashion house. I designed bags and accessories.” Jaejoong said.

 

“He’s really good at it,” Yunho said. “Your bags are really expensive, Jae.”

 

“It’s not because of my talent, but the material.” Jaejoong waved his hand in dismissal. “Oh, I should give you one for your engagement present!”

 

“It’s fine, Jaejoong-sshi,” Changmin said. “You don’t have to. It’s not a real engagement, anyway.” He ate the fish calmly.

 

Yunho stiffened in his seat. He didn’t expect Changmin would… say it like that. He knew the engagement wasn’t out of love, but did Changmin really have to tell it coldly?

 

“Siwon just texted me. Maybe I’ll go to his place later.” Jaejoong said to Yunho. “And I want to see Minah, too!”

 

Changmin went to the bedroom to do his homework, left Yunho and Jaejoong to do the dishes.

 

“I think I made a mistake coming here,” Jaejoong said as he put the clean plates aside. “I should’ve gone to Siwon’s.”

 

Yunho tsked. He didn’t want to have Jaejoong right then either! It was a very bad timing and Changmin was being cranky. Was it because their hampered sexual intercourse?

 

When Jaejoong said goodbye, Changmin thanked him for the meal and Jaejoong apologized again for disturbing their night.

 

“To make it up, I’ll give you one of my designed bags.” Jaejoong said.

 

“Make sure that’s the most expensive one, then,” Changmin joked.

 

“I’ll carve your initials on the leather.” Jaejoong winked. “See you.”

 

Yunho felt a bit relieved seeing Changmin kidding around with Jaejoong, but once the door closed, Changmin went back to the bedroom without shared a glance to Yunho. He followed the younger man to the bedroom.

 

Changmin was reading on the bed and Yunho sat near his long legs, put his hands on his knee and gently rubbed it. “Are you tired?”

 

“You want to sleep?” Changmin’s eyes were still on his book.

 

“Should we?” Yunho’s hand sneaked to Changmin’s thigh.

 

Changmin stood up abruptly and Yunho startled.

 

“You’re sleeping outside?” Yunho asked as Changmin took his pillow. “If you still want to read, I don’t mind. Come to bed.”

 

Changmin didn’t turn to face Yunho. He sighed. “I’m just not feeling well.”

 

Yunho walked to Changmin. “Are you sick?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Yunho’s hand reached up to feel Changmin’s forehead, but he slapped Yunho’s hand away. It wasn’t hard it hurt, but Yunho didn’t expect Changmin would do that. The feeling went straight to his heart.

 

Changmin’s expression remained stoic, but there was regret flashed in his eyes. “Good night.” He went outside and closed the door, left Yunho in his position, alone and cold.

 

*

 

It became like their first met, when Changmin didn’t talk a word and Yunho was struggling to start a conversation. Yunho just watched as Changmin sipped his coffee.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Yunho asked carefully.

 

“What is it?” Changmin replied without looking at him.

 

“You just… seem… different,” Yunho mumbled.

 

Changmin scoffed. “I heard you talked with Jaejoong yesterday.”

 

Yunho looked puzzled.

 

“Oh, you seemed confused. It’s hard to think with his hand’s roaming your skin, huh. So you didn’t remember that you told him you don’t like me.” Changmin said sarcastically.

 

Yunho _did_ remember that. “Why are you such a kid? I don’t know you think of me that low!” he stood up from his seat. Changmin _should know_ that he didn’t mean that. Right?

 

“In the other hand, I know that you think of me _that low_.”

 

“I’m not thinking about you that low. I don’t think you’re low at all! But you really need to fix your personality, Changmin!” Yunho pointed his finger to Changmin’s chest.

 

Changmin stood up in front of the man. “I’m sorry if my personality doesn’t fit your standard, Yunho- _sshi_.”

 

Yunho narrowed his eyes.

 

“I must be a fool to think that you like me too. Because all of this, just a convenience for you, right?”

 

It was just so frustrating how Changmin just blamed him for all the things he said! What about the things Changmin _did_ , huh? He was fucking cheated on him with another woman! Just when they got better, why Changmin had to start a fight!?

 

But he knew it was because of him. Because of his stupid self denial and words he didn’t mean to say and unfortunately, Changmin heard it. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay!”

 

Changmin poured the rest of his coffee to the sink. “Don’t be.”

 

*

 

“I think I came in the wrong moment.” Jaejoong sipped his latte. “It was uncomfortable last night.”

 

“You came to Yunho Hyung’s place yesterday?” Yoochun asked, and Jaejoong nodded. “Umm, I think he had a hard on when he left the academy.”

 

Siwon chuckled. “That’s inappropriate.”

 

“I told him that.” Yoochun replied.

 

The three men were having a brunch in the canteen, warmed themselves from the cold weather with a cup of caffeine in each hands. Siwon sat in front of Jaejoong, with Yoochun beside him.

 

“So Chunnie-yah, what do you think of that Shim Changmin, huh?” Jaejoong asked.

 

Yoochun hummed. “I don’t know… but he used to wait for Yunho Hyung in the car when he picked him up. Lately he went to his office.”

 

“Isn’t that better?” Jaejoong lifted his eyebrows.

 

“But he also caused an erection.” Yoochun mumbled and the others laughed.

 

“Oh, Yunho’s coming,” Siwon spotted the man walking to their direction.

 

Yunho came and sat next to Jaejoong, leaned to him lifelessly.

 

“Huh? What’s going on?” Jaejoong asked.

 

“Changmin heard when I told you I didn’t like him.” Yunho mumbled.

 

Siwon and Yoochun exchanged a look.

 

“You’re so stupid, Yunho! I mean, of course I know you like him, but you still say no.” Jaejoong gulped his latte.

 

“Then if you already know, why did you ask!?” Yunho smacked Jaejoong’s back, made the man spurted out his drink.

 

Siwon threw a tissue on the wet table. “So you really like him.”

 

Yunho let out a deep sigh and put his arm around Jaejoong’s tiny waist, hid his face in Jaejoong’s shoulder. “What should I do now…”

 

“Excuse me,”

 

Siwon’s eyes widened and Yoochun almost dropped his coffee from his grip. They were both looking at the man behind Jaejoong and Yunho in shock.

 

“Yunho-sshi, you left your phone in the car.”

 

Yunho froze.

 

“Oh, Changmin-sshi!” Jaejoong turned and greeted him a smile.

 

Yunho didn’t dare to look back, because, _fuck_ , did Changmin catch him in Jaejoong’s embrace? Well it was him hugging Jae, to be exact.

 

A moment passed, then he could hear Changmin’s sigh before the man put his phone on the table. “I’m leaving.” Changmin said as he left.

 

“Yah!” Jaejoong hissed as he smacked Yunho’s hands around him.

 

Yunho looked at him with pleading eyes.

 

“Go!” Jaejoong said as he kicked Yunho’s chair.

 

Yunho turned to see Changmin’s back, walked away.

 

“Hurry up, you moronic-“

 

And before Jaejoong could complete his cursing, Yunho ran after Changmin to the hallway. “Changmin-sshi! Wait!” he quickly stopped him by standing on his way.

 

Changmin looked at the man in front of him.

 

Yunho didn’t know what to say.

 

“You’re welcome.” Changmin walked again.

 

Yunho held Changmin’s hand to prevent him from leaving. “About earlier, I’m just-“

 

“Changmin! Shim Changmin, right?” a girl put her hand on Changmin’s shoulder.

 

Changmin turned and looked at her. “Oh! Hyori?”

 

“Yes!” the girl smiled. “Gosh, it’s been so long, right?”

 

Yunho eyed the girl’s hand that sneaked down along Changmin’s bicep.

 

“Yeah… what are you doing here?”

 

“I learn hapkido, of course,” Hyori giggled. “What about you?”

 

“Well, I’m about to leave.” Changmin lifted his shoulders.

 

“Oh, is that so?” her hand held Changmin’s.

 

Changmin hummed, and Hyori noticed Yunho. “Oh! Seongsaeng-nim!”

 

“Hello,” Yunho remembered this girl who was in Yoochun’s class.

 

“Minnie, you know Yunho Seongsaeng?” Hyori nudged Changmin.

 

Changmin looked at Yunho and said, “He’s a friend.”

 

“Alright,” Hyori smiled. “Hey, my number is still the same. Call me, okay!”

 

“Okay,” Changmin nodded and Hyori waved her hand, leaving.

 

“I’m your fiancé.” Yunho said as Hyori left, hand on Changmin’s shoulder, demanded attention.

 

“You told me I’m just a friend to your student.” Changmin stated.

 

“Suho was just a little kid! But your friend was a woman who likes to flirt and you like it too much!”

 

“Well at least she doesn’t have her hands around me, or me around her!”

 

“Jaejoong and I are just friends!”

 

“So do Hyori and me.”

 

Yunho forgot how the Shims debated. They would never lose an argument. “This is tiring.” He rubbed his palm on his forehead.

 

Changmin stared at the man. “Maybe you were right. We should end this.”

 

Yunho looked back in disbelief. “You said that you want to try this again! You told me to give you another chance! It was just a lie?!”

 

Changmin’s jaw clenched, looked at Yunho deeply. “It wasn’t a lie. I just changed my mind.”

 

Yunho slapped Changmin’s cheek.

 

The sound was too loud and Yunho’s palm felt hot and sting.

 

A second later, he realized what he had done and gasped, threw his arms around Changmin’s broad shoulder and hugged him, hid his face in Changmin neck. “I’m sorry, I really- I didn’t mean it.” he wished Changmin’s arms would embrace him. Hoped the younger man would hug him back and accepted his apaology.

 

“No. I’m sorry.” Changmin replied.

 

Yunho felt terrified because Changmin was still. He waited and waited, until Changmin’s hand wrapped around his wrists, pulled them away from his body.

 

“I have class to attend.”


	11. Chapter 11

“The reservation is at 8, and come on time, Yunho.” Mrs Jung said.

 

Yunho hummed. He couldn’t argue with his mother setting up a date between him and Changmin, a dinner in a fancy restaurant. It was nice, unless his relationship with Changmin was a bit… “Can you… tell Changmin too?”

 

Mrs Jung didn’t answer at first. “Why?”

 

“Because… you know, I’ll be teaching and Changmin is in the campus …” Yunho hoped it was a reasonable reason and his mother would buy it. “I’m afraid I’ll forget to tell him.”

 

“I think his mother will tell it to him.”

 

“Oh? Is that so?”

 

“Yes. This is her idea. And oh, Yunho,”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Talk about the marriage with him, okay.” Mrs Jung said. “You’re older than him. Lead him, son.”

 

Lead Changmin?

 

*

 

“Why are you arranging a date between us?” Changmin asked, tried not to sound angry.

 

“You have to talk about the marriage with him, Changmin.” Mrs Shim said, straight to the point.

 

“Oh,” Changmin shrunk.

 

“At 7 o’clock. You know the restaurant, right?”

 

Changmin hummed. “Mother, if…” he took a deep breath. “If we don’t want the marriage…” he waited his mother to cut him or say something, but Mrs Shim didn’t say anything. “Is it okay?”

 

“You think I can’t see if something happens between you two?”

 

Changmin didn’t know what that mean.

 

“Yunho is a nice man, he’s good looking too. You’ve lived together with him for quite a long time. You should feel something towards him, son.”

 

Changmin admitted, he felt something. But Yunho…

 

“Talk to him. And after you know what to do, talk to us.”

 

*

 

Changmin didn’t text him and he didn’t have the courage to text him first.

 

He must be angry, Yunho thought. Oh fuck, Jung Yunho, why did you slap him?!

 

“Yunho-yah, do you wanna go out tonight with me? Drinking maybe…” Jaejoong asked. He thought his friend needed some alcohol for his gloomy self.

 

“No. I have a date with Changmin.”

 

“Oh? That’s great!”

 

“Our parents set it up for us…” Yunho pouted.

 

“Oh…”

 

“Can I stay in your apartment until I meet him in the restaurant?” Yunho asked Jaejoong, with an extreme puppy eyes.

 

But it didn’t work on his bestfriend. “You can’t hide forever, Yunho.”

 

“I know.” He mumbled. “I just can’t face him yet.”

 

“Just let me dress you up for the dinner.”

 

*

 

Yunho didn’t ask to pick him up, so Changmin didn’t. He arrived at the restaurant at 6.45, but drove around a bit until it was 7. He entered the restaurant and went to his table, but Yunho wasn’t there.

 

He expected that Yunho wouldn’t show up. But he waited anyway.

 

Changmin knew he deserved that slap, yes he did. It was stupid to be jealous of Jaejoong, Changmin knew Yunho was the type who liked skinship a lot, and of course he’d be touchy around his bestfriend. But it hurt the same, to see how natural and close Yunho with Jaejoong, but not him. If only Jaejoong was in his position, if Jaejoong was the one who had to engage to Yunho, then there wouldn’t be any difficulties at all. Yunho would be happy, Jaejoong would be happy, Changmin would…

 

He would never meet Yunho.

 

But maybe it would be the best for all too.

 

But the story was different. He met Yunho. And bit by bit, he started to fall for the older man. He always anticipated, when he went from the university to pick Yunho up, what story the man would tell. Was Yoochun flirting with his students again? Because he had Minah now. Did Inhwan, the tiniest boy on earth Yunho ever saw, got the highest score again for the test? Or, did Yunho have his favorite seaweed soup again in the canteen for lunch? And the man said that he craved for Changmin’s kimchi jjigae. Changmin would make it for dinner to make it up for him, and Yunho would squeal like a little girl when Changmin offered him to taste it.

 

He wanted to make breakfast, but Yunho said no. “You always make the best dinner, Changmin-sshi. I at least could make coffee and simple breakfast.”

 

Yunho’s coffee was too sweet to his likings, but Changmin drank it anyway. The toasts burnt and the sunny side ups wasn’t a sun because the yolk burst. But seeing Yunho with anticipating look, though it was just a simple dish, made Changmin smiled and thanked him for the breakfast.

 

Yunho’s sunshiny smile invaded his mind and Changmin thought he was lost. He thought that Yunho must be an angel, because the time spent with him was heavenly. But he was just an evil thing who didn’t deserve someone like him.

 

He knew he was a cruel man. But wasn’t Yunho cruel too? To make him fall for him, but just left him hanging there?

 

Changmin poured his second glass of wine and looked at his watch. 7.42.

 

He wasn’t the one who tolerance someone’s tardiness, but for Yunho, he would wait.

 

*

 

“Have you made the reservation, Sir?” the waiter asked.

 

“Um, yes,”

 

“Name?”

 

Fuck. He didn’t remember the name. Or did his mother mention it to him? “Is it under Shim Changmin?”

 

“No Shim Changmin,” the waiter shook his head as he checked the book.

 

“Jung Yunho?”

 

“Nope,”

 

“Maybe just… Shim? Jung?”

 

The waiter looked up to him. “There’s some Shim and Jung in here, Sir.”

 

Yunho gulped. Damn his clumsiness! “I’ll come back later,” he gave an apologetic smile and called his mother. She didn’t answer.

 

Yunho groaned and called Jihye. And she didn’t answer either. Yunho could just call Changmin, but… what if he didn’t come? That he just plainly rejected to have the dinner with him?

 

“Sir, there’s an empty table you can use.” The waiter informed him.

 

“I’ll take that.” Yunho said and followed the waiter and sat.

 

“Do you want to order now?”

 

“I’m waiting for someone.” He felt so pathetic. He was waiting for someone, and didn’t know the reservation name. The waiter must think that Yunho’s date was just playing with him.

 

“Very well. I’ll come back later.” He poured the water and left.

 

*

 

It was 8.13 and Changmin surprised he still had his patience. He could order some food but somehow, he didn’t feel hungry. Or he could just left. It had been more than an hour. Yunho maybe couldn’t come. Or he wouldn’t.

 

Shit, did something happen to Yunho?

 

 

*

 

It was almost 9 and Yunho wanted to pee because he drank too much water. But what if Changmin came and didn’t see him? So he just held it in and waited.

 

Waited for someone that would never come.

 

Would Changmin come?

 

But if he came, what would happen? Would they talk about the marriage, for real? Because Yunho didn’t know what to say. He personally didn’t mind getting married with Shim Changmin. He could live with him. He _wanted_ to. But what about Changmin? Knowing him, he would probably just agree, without saying anything in his mind.

 

“Sir, do you want to order now?” the waiter came again.

 

“Later,” Yunho smiled to him.

 

Yunho could smell the savory steak on the table next to him. His mouth salivated and his stomach grumbled. Jaejoong refused to buy any food or went to his apartment to cook, busy choosing the right belt that went well with Yunho’s shirt.

 

“You’re gonna eat dinner anyway…” Jaejoong was eyeing two belts. For Yunho, both of them looked exactly the same and he wondered why Jae had a hard time choosing. He didn’t understand why Jaejoong was thinking too hard. “Ah, if only they had the snake skin motif for this color, it’d be great.” He left the store.

 

“Wait, Jae, you’re not buying- Jae!” he could just hopelessly followed Jaejoong to the next store.

 

He should’ve told Jaejoong not to work too hard. Yunho knew he looked good, with his styled hair, branded new clothes. The ladies who just passed murmuring and threw him a smile and he caught the waitress stared into him several time.

 

But what was the point, if his date wasn’t showing up?

 

*

 

The restaurant closed at 11 and it was 9.27.

 

Maybe Yunho wouldn’t come. Maybe he should go home. He said to himself that he would just wait for another 5 minutes, but the minutes had passed and Changmin would just wait for another. And another. And another hour had passed when he realized the bottle was almost empty.

 

Changmin looked around and he could see a pretty woman with short black hair and red lips, talking to her date. Huh, it must be great, Changmin snorted. The man’s back was facing him, and Changmin could see him shook his head. The woman smiled, stood up and touched his shoulder before she left a piece of paper on his table.

 

He felt a bit comforted when he realized that they weren’t dating, that the woman was just hitting on him.

 

The man leaned back to his seat and stretched tiredly, before he turned and his eyes met Changmin. And it was-

 

Jung Yunho.

 

He could see Yunho’s eyes widened and the older man quickly turned back around, his back faced Changmin again.

 

And that fucking slut was just flirting with his fiancé, dammit!

 

He needed to save Yunho before other hyenas came to him. He came to Yunho’s table and put his hand on his shoulder. He could feel Yunho stiffened. “Yunho-sshi,”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Our table is over there.” Changmin could see the paper the woman left. Her phone number. When Yunho stood up and didn’t look, he crumpled it and threw it under the table.

 

“Right,” Yunho stood up and followed Changmin. The younger pulled the seat for him and he mumbled a thank you.

 

“You look great,” Changmin lied. Yunho was fucking gorgeous and he couldn’t blame the woman who was flirting with him. He was a mixture of Helios and Adonis and Changmin was just a skinny poor man who fell too deep with the god.

 

“Thanks,” Yunho let out a nervous smile. “I don’t know the reservation name, so I just…”

 

“It’s under my mother’s name.” Changmin poured the wine for Yunho. The last drop fell but it filled just a quarter of the glass. “The restaurant owner is my mother’s friend.”

 

“Oh,” Yunho sipped the wine as he thought if Changmin just drank the whole bottle for himself.

 

“You should just call me.” Changmin said as he stared at the older man.

 

“I know,” Yunho looked down.

 

“Or I should’ve called you.” Changmin smiled blankly. “I’m just waiting dumbly.”

 

“How long have you waited?” Yunho looked at his watch and counted, he had waited for an hour and half.

 

Changmin checked his watch and said, “155 minutes.”

 

Yunho’s eyes widened. “You waited for two hours?!”

 

“And half,” Changmin added.

 

Yunho gulped. “But my mother said that the reservation is… at 8?”

 

“My mother reserved it at 7,”

 

Changmin still had this strange smile on his face. It didn’t reach his eyes and Yunho felt fear.

 

“Should we eat now? Aren’t you hungry? I’m starving…” Changmin called the waiter and Yunho let him order for them.

 

They waited for the food and Yunho hated the awkward silence between them.

 

“So there’s one of my students… she was missing and we thought she was in the bathroom. And it had been hours and she-“ he tried to start a conversation.

 

“Bomi?”

 

Yunho’s jaw dropped. “You… remember that story?”

 

“Bomi who locked herself in the bathroom for a day, and you were worried, Yoochun kicked the door opened and turned out she wasn’t there. The janitor locked the door because the toilet was leaking. In the end of the day you found her asleep in the men’s bathroom. That story?” Changmin asked.

 

“Uh, yeah…” Yunho bit his lip. “I’ve told you that?”

 

“Three times, yeah,” Changmin smiled.

 

Yunho had told the same story three times to Changmin, almost four times. Fuck. And Changmin was just sitting there, listened to his ramblings about unimportant events at work.

 

“During high school, my friend, Kyuhyun, and I kinda locked my physic teacher in the bathroom. We didn’t want him to teach.” Changmin said.

 

“Really?” Yunho lightened up.

 

“I heard Kyu became a high school teacher. Hope nobody lock him in the bathroom,” Changmin shrugged.

 

Yunho laughed and Changmin couldn’t help but laughed too.

 

The food came and Changmin remembered how hungry he was. Yunho must be starving too, he finished the soup faster than him. When Changmin watched him wiped his mouth with the napkin, Yunho caught him staring.

 

Yunho looked like a prince.

 

“You look great.” Changmin mumbled to his empty plate.

 

Yunho chuckled. “Yeah, you told me that.”

 

“I’ll tell you once more later.” Changmin smiled shyly. “Because you told the same story three times, it’s okay to compliment you as much, right?”

 

Yunho laughed. “Well, Jaejoong dressed me up. We went shopping and he chose the shirt and belt and-“

 

“Jaejoong?”

 

“Yes. I have to admit he has a great sense of fashion, don’t you think? There’s this one chicken skewer store he likes so much. The owner remembered us, you believe that? Well, maybe because when we were kids, Jaejoong used to come to the kitchen and helped her made the skewers. And when we were shopping, we walked passed it and Jaejoong forgot that it was there! He was too busy with picking the right clothes for me. So we walked back just to buy the chicken…” Yunho giggled.

 

Changmin just stared. “It must be fun.”

 

“It is! And we got 10% discount on my shirt because the boutique owner kinda likes Jae. But Jae gave him a fake number. Hahhaha… he was quite gorgeous though.”

 

Changmin didn’t say anything. The next food came and Yunho ate happily. He just realized Changmin became silent when they waited for the dessert. Why? He talked quite a lot just now, but suddenly he didn’t say a word.

 

“So… my mother told me to talk about the marriage…” Yunho said slowly.

 

“If it isn’t because of her, would you go out with me like this?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho didn’t understand. “I’m sorry?”

 

“Nevermind. It will be better if you hang out with Jaejoong instead, right?”

 

“Why is it Jaejoong suddenly?” Yunho really hated it when Changmin talked like that. He could just tell him what he wanted to say, instead of saying meaningless things with sarcastic tone.

 

“Not suddenly, but always.” Changmin put down his spoon.

 

Yunho narrowed his eyes.

 

Changmin scoffed. “It’s always him. You were so intimate with him, in _our_ apartment, when I was there. And this morning you were hugging him. And even when we have a date, he’s still-“

 

“He’s my friend, okay!” Yunho couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

“I am your fiancé, Yunho-sshi.” Changmin stated. “Oh, well, maybe you don’t think so, because it’s just a fake engagement.”

 

“Gosh, will you just stop!” Yunho’s breath was heaving. “Why don’t you understand? He’s my old friend, we’ve been together more than 20 years, of course we’re intimate, because we’re comfortable with each other.”

 

“And you’re not comfortable with me?” Changmin lifted his eyebrows.

 

Yunho looked down, didn’t answer.

 

“Of course not.” Changmin answered his own question. “You’re just comfortable with Kim Jaejoong. He’s fun to be with, he makes you laugh, your family like him. He’s perfect for you, right?”

 

“Why are you keep talking about him?” Yunho started to get irritated.

 

“Don’t you just wish you’re engaged with him instead of me.” Changmin said.

 

Yunho spoke up. “We’re supposed to talk about the marriage-“

 

“That will never happen.” Changmin finished his words.

 

“What.”

 

“It’s not going to work. Let’s part our ways. Didn’t you say I was tiring? I don’t want to tire you or interfere with your life.” Changmin threw his napkin to the table.

 

“You just- gonna…” Yunho was speechless. “So. We’re… just end this?”

 

“Let’s do that.” Changmin said flatly.

 

“Do I mean nothing to you? Why are you such an evil man, Changmin-sshi?” Yunho clenched his fist under the table. “Why you hug me in the night, make me dinner, drive me to work, and things that…” _make me fall for you deeper_. “And you just gonna leave just like that?”

 

Changmin didn’t say anything.

 

Yunho snorted. “Why did you ask for a fucking second chance?!” he shouted and the woman from the next table stole a glance to them. “Is it fun? You’re playing with my feelings. Is it fun?”

 

“It is.”

 

Yunho stood up and threw his money to the table and left. He walked fast to the door and hid behind a wall. He called Siwon.

 

“Hey, Yunho, what’s up?”

 

“Hi… um, Siwon-ah, are you busy? Can you pick me up?” Yunho walked back and forth, tried to control his mind to remain calm.

 

“Sure. Where are you?”

 

Yunho told him the address. “Can you… hurry up, please?”

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

Yunho could hear rustle of clothes, knowing Siwon, maybe he was going now if Yunho asked. “Just please.”

 

“Be there soon.”

 

“Okay. Thank you, Siwon.” Yunho put his phone back to his pocket and waited.

 

*

 

When Changmin came out from the restaurant, he could hear the ringing siren and people was crowding on the street. The ambulance came and he could saw someone entered the ambulance.

 

Wait.

 

Is that?

 

“Yunho-sshi!” Changmin called. But the ambulance door was already closed and Yunho couldn’t hear him.

 

Fuck. What happened? Why was Yunho in the ambulance?

 

He quickly took his car and followed the ambulance to the hospital. Changmin tried to call Yunho, but he wasn’t answering. It wasn’t like Yunho was getting hurt. He looked fine. But what happened, really?

 

He arrived and parked his car. He could see the nurse crowded around the ambulance, before rushing in to the emergency room. Changmin ran and tried to find Yunho.

 

The man was sitting in one of the chair, bent down, face buried in his palms. Changmin walked slowly and sat beside him, didn’t know what to do. He put his hands arond his shoulder. “Yunho-sshi,”

 

Yunho sobbed.

 

Changmin rubbed his back awkwardly, but tried to be gentle. “Yunho-sshi… what happened?”

 

Yunho mumbled something Changmin couldn’t hear. His hands which covering his face wet with tears.

  
“Yunho-sshi?”

 

Yunho put his hands on Changmin’s shoulder, “I kill him! I kill him!”

 

Changmin shocked. But he could see Yunho’s red teary eyes and his trembling lips. “I killed Siwon… why am I always… his father… he… I-“

 

“No, you don’t kill him,” Changmin ran his hands through Yunho’s arm.

 

“This won’t happen if he’s not picking me up! He just opened the door, and suddenly there was a car, and, and- he was-“

 

Changmin quickly hug Yunho again before the man burst into tears. He was trembling in fear and Changmin hug him tighter. He could hear the older man kept blaming himself.

 

“Yunho! Yunho! What happened!”

 

Changmin startled and looked the Jungs came, with Minah, Yoochun, and Jaejoong.

 

“Son, what happened?” Mrs Jung touched Yunho’s back.

 

Changmin let go of his hold and let Yunho came to his mother instead. The man stood up and threw his arms around his mother and hid his face in her shoulder. “Umma, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ he sobbed. “Siwon was hit by a car. It’s because of me- if I- I…”

 

Mrs Jung’s eyes filled with tears, hands limp to her sides.

 

Changmin could see Minah talked to a nurse to find out what happened.

 

“Seems like Choi Siwon-sshi was getting out from the car when another car in high speed suddenly hit him. He broke several bones, but now the doctor is trying to find any problems with his internal organs.”

 

Minah froze so Yoochun thanked the nurse instead, brought Minah to sit on the nearest chair.

 

“Your Oppa will be fine, Minah, he’s a strong man. I believe he’ll be okay,” Yoochun said, arms around her shoulder.

 

“But… what if… he left me?” the thought sent tears to her eyes. “If he’s gone, then I’ll… I’ll…”

 

“Hush, don’t think like that!” Yoochun hugged her. “He’ll be fine, I promise,” he lied. Yoochun was afraid himself but he promised anyway.

 

Jihye tried to calm her mother but cried silently, and Jaejoong was hugging Yunho, ran his hands on Yunho’s back, murmuring words to his ear.

 

It looked natural. They were a family. And Changmin was just somebody who didn’t belong there.

 

“Mr Shim,” Mr Jung called him, and Changmin startled. “I think this shouldn’t be happened when you were there,” Mr Jung looked at him with disappointed eyes.

 

And he thought the blame was his, not Yunho’s.


	12. Chapter 12

Mrs Shim came to the apartment early in the morning and it was a bad time because Changmin drank too much last night and his head was spinning. He hadn’t changed his clothes and just collapsed to the bed at 4am. He shut his eyes closed just for 4 hours and it wasn’t enough.

 

“You look miserable,” came out from Mrs Shim mouth.

 

Changmin closed the door once her mother got in.

 

“You went out drinking?” she turned around and asked. She noticed Changmin’s messy hair and glassy eyes. “Where’s Yunho?”

 

“Hospital,” Changmin went to the kitchen.

 

Mrs Shim gasped. “What happened?”

 

“Accident. Not him, though. It was Choi Siwon.” Changmin took a deep breath and tried to stop the banging in his head, his fingers kneaded his temple.

 

Mrs Shim was unmoving. “Son, what happened? Did you go to the dinner with Yunho?”

 

“I did.” Changmin gulped down some water. He wanted to throw up. “Choi Siwon came to pick him up.”

 

“And _why_ he came to pick Yunho up? There were you.” Mrs Shim asked with pressure in each word.

 

“He didn’t want to go home with me. That’s why Siwon came.” Changmin replied.

 

“Gosh, Changmin, what have you done? Did you fight with him?” Mrs Shim asked panicky. “And why are you here, anyway? You should accompany Yunho in the hospital!”

 

Changmin finally looked at his mother. “Do you really want us to get married?”

 

Mrs Shim sighed. “Jung Yunho is a good man, Changmin.”

 

“And what about me? Am I good enough for him? Do you ever think what his family thought of me?” Changmin stared at her.

 

“The Jung family has agreed to have you as his husband!” Mrs Shim said the fact.

 

“But what about him?! What about Yunho? Does he-“

 

“This is not the right time, Changmin!” Mrs Shim cut him loudly. “Take a shower. You’re such a mess. We’re going to the hospital.”

 

*

 

“The doctor finds nothing wrong in the internal organ. He broke his left arm and left shin. His nose was broken too. But aside of that, the patient is fine.” The nurse explained.

 

“Really? So… when can he get out from the hospital?” Jaejoong asked.

 

“Three days.” She answered.

 

“Okay. And uh, can the doctor check him again before he’s being dismissed?”

 

“Of course. The doctor will check him up everyday.”

 

“Great. Thank you.” Jaejoong smiled. He walked to the door and peeked. Minah was sitting by the bed, held her brother’s hand and stared. He sighed and turned around, told the Jung and his family about Siwon’s condition.

 

“Oh, thank God, he’s fine.” Mrs Kim had her palms on her chest.

 

Jaejoong walked to Yunho who was sitting by himself. He sat next to him and put his hands on his shoulder. “Hey,”

 

Yunho was still.

 

“Siwon is fine. Don’t worry about that.” Jaejoong continued.

 

“Where’s Minah?” Yunho asked quietly.

 

“She’s with her brother. But he’s still sleeping.” Jaejoong said.

 

“Why am I… such an evil person to her?” Yunho stared blankly to the wall in front of him. “I killed his father. I almost killed his brother. This is my fault…”

 

“It’s the driver of the car which hit him. This is his fault. And you have nothing to do with-“

 

“If I didn’t call him, then he wouldn’t come! And he’d be safe at home, with his sister!” Yunho snapped.

 

Jaejoong sighed. “It’s almost noon. You need some rest, Yunho. And you haven’t eat anything since yesterday.”

 

Yunho said nothing.

 

“Come on, let’s eat.” Jaejoong stood up and offered his hand.

 

“I’m not hungry.” Yunho mumbled.

 

“Yunho,”

 

“Leave me alone.” Yunho looked down, and he could hear Jaejoong walked away after some time.

 

He felt tired. But everytime he closed his eyes, the flash of light, the crashing sound, the loud shouts, and the shadows came haunted him again. How Siwon laid on the street, drenched with blood, limbs jerking before went limp. That must be nothing compared to when he killed Siwon’s father. He didn’t remember anything at that time, but now, everything was clear in his mind.

 

*

 

Minah refused to go home and stayed all night and day by her brother’s side. His brother woke up at dawn and her tears rolled down again.

 

“Oppa…” she called. “Oppa…”

 

Siwon could see her wet cheek glistened in the dark room. “You’re such a baby, Minah… come on, don’t cry…”

 

“Oppa…” Minah sobbed. “You’re awake.”

 

“Of course… I’m fine, Minah-yah…” Siwon raised his hand to caress his sister cheek, but he had no strength left.

 

Minah held his hand and cried uncontrollably.

 

“Don’t cry, Minah… come on, I’m here, right?”

 

“I’m afraid Oppa…” her breath hitched. “What if… what if you leave me too… then I- I…”

 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay…” Siwon wanted to hug her, but everything in his body hurt. “Oppa will never leave you, okay? I promise. I will protect you forever, Minah. Don’t be afraid. I’m right here.”

 

After some time, Minah stopped crying and fell asleep. Siwon calmed down a bit and fell to a slumber, just when the sun rose.

 

When Minah woke up, the nurse came and explained Siwon’s situation, told her the medicine he needed to take and delivered the breakfast. His brother was still sleeping. She would wake him up later to eat.

 

The door opened and someone came. Minah turned to see who it was.

 

Yuri froze once she saw Siwon on the bed. Bandages around his arm and leg, there was some wounds on his face.

 

It took some seconds for her to realize Minah was there. “Oh, Minah,” she bowed to her. “I… I-“

 

Minah smiled. “Please come in, Unnie.”

 

Yuri gave a small smile to her before walked closer to the bed.

 

Minah stood on the other side, watched Yuri stared at Siwon deeply.

 

“I asked the nurse and I thought… she said he’s fine but… I don’t think he’ll be…” Yuri stuttered. Minah saw Yuri extended her arm hesitantly to touch Siwon’s hand, but pulled back. She covered her mouth to prevent any sob to come out. Her eyes were teary. “I’m sorry, I’m just-“

 

Minah gave her a sympathetic smile. “I’m glad you come, Unnie.”

 

Yuri smiled back to her but her lips were trembling. “I’ll- I’ll be back.”

 

*

 

Yunho looked more depressed than yesterday and Changmin was angry with himself, to let his stupid feelings overtook him and left the man alone. Yunho stayed when he was too deep with Sunyoung. He betrayed Yunho, but the older man was still there for him. Why did Changmin left just because he felt insecure? “Yunho-sshi,”

 

Yunho didn’t answer.

 

Changmin kneeled in front of him. “I know you’re blaming yourself. Don’t do that.”

 

Yunho scoffed. “You don’t know how it feels to be me.”

 

“You’re right. But the accident already happened. You can do nothing about that. Your regret wouldn’t mend anything.” Changmin said softly.

 

“I can do something about that!” Yunho felt frustrated. Why these people didn’t understand?! “If I didn’t call him, he wouldn’t come! The accident wouldn’t happen!” he hid his face in his palms. “It’s my fault…”

 

“Yes, it’s your fault.” Changmin said.

 

That was the first time Yunho heard that. He looked confusedly to the younger man.

 

“If we’re talking about whose fault is this, everybody can take the blame. It’s my fault. If I didn’t upset you, you wouldn’t call him. You’ll go home with me.” Changmin said, returned the stare. “It’s my fault.”

 

Yunho’s head hung low, his tears flooded his eyes again.

 

Changmin hugged him and Yunho cried loudly to his shoulder. He said nothing, let the man wet his shirt with his tears.

 

When Yunho fell asleep with his head on his lap, Changmin brushed Yunho’s furrowed brows and held his hands, tried to drive the nightmares away. “I’m here,” he whispered, hoped that Yunho wouldn’t be afraid anymore.

 

He took off his coat and draped it over Yunho’s body which sprawled along three seats next to him, and watched the older man.

 

With every breath he took, Changmin realized how much he wanted to be with Yunho. How much he realized that he needed Yunho, and he hoped, Yunho needed him as much, or maybe more. Therefore, Yunho wouldn’t ever leave him again.

 

*

 

“We’re going to grab a coffee, do you need anything, son?” Mrs Jung asked.

 

Yunho shook his head.

 

“Siwon is awake. Go see him.” Mr Jung said.

 

Yunho didn’t say yes, because he thought he didn’t dare to see him yet. His parents left with Jaejoong’s parents.

 

Changmin held his hand. “Come on.”

 

Yunho couldn’t refuse because Changmin already opened the door. He wanted to run, he yanked off Changmin’s hand and-

 

“Oppa!”

  
Yunho stopped and saw Minah smiled. Minah smiled at him.

 

“Oppa, please come in.” she said. “Please take care of him. I’ll be out for a while.” She smiled. She kissed Siwon’s cheek and left.

 

Changmin held the door opened. Yunho walked slowly, head down, and he could hear Siwon called his name. “Yunho-yah,” his voice was a bit rough and he was sitting on the bed.

 

“I think I’ll leave now,” Mrs Shim said. “I’ll tell Yuri that you’re up. Get well soon, Siwon-sshi.”

 

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Siwon replied.

 

Mrs Shim gave a smile to Yunho as she walked out.

 

The door opened again and Yuri stood there.

 

Siwon looked at her. “Minah said you came but-“

 

“You stupid moron, can’t you be more careful?” Yuri cut him and she walked to the bed. “What kind of man opened the door without looking?” she looked around and noticed Yunho was there. “Oh, I’m sorry, I…”

 

Siwon chuckled.

 

“Don’t you dare to laugh,” Yuri hissed. “How can you be so clumsy and make your sister worries so much? You deserve this!”

 

“And you?” he asked. “Don’t you worry about me?”

 

“You must be kidding.” Yuri glared.

 

Siwon gave her a weak smile. “Come here,”

 

Yuri shook her head.

 

“Please,” Siwon raised his hand, offered it to Yuri to reach.

 

“You could die, you know that?” Yuri looked at with glassy eyes. “And you just smile like an idiot right here, you think you’ll get lucky next time?”

 

“Yuri,” Siwon called again, his hands touched Yuri’s and she lost it. She looked away to hide her tears, but Siwon pulled her closer. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he wiped her tears.

 

“You’re so stupid.” Yuri’s voice was shaking.

 

“I know. A stupid man who makes you cry.” Siwon whispered.

 

“Don’t do that again.” Yuri looked at him sharply.

 

“I won’t.” Siwon said.

 

Yunho could see Siwon smiled at him when he hugged Yuri. “ _Thank you_ ,”

 

“Maybe we come in the wrong time.” Changmin said to Yunho. “Let’s find something to eat and come back later.”

 

*

 

“I’m sorry,” Yunho sat next to Siwon’s bed. The man was sleeping. “I’m sorry, Siwon. I’m sorry… this wouldn’t happen if I didn’t ask you to come…”

 

Yunho took a deep breath and looked at his friend, there were several cuts on his face and deeper cut along his right arm. “I can never forgive myself… gosh, Siwon, if we lost you, maybe I better die myself.”

 

“Don’t, Yunho,”

 

Yunho startled. Siwon was awake.

 

He smiled to him. “Don’t do that. You have to take care of Minah if I wasn’t here.”

 

“Don’t talk like that.” Yunho whispered.

 

“You mentioned it first.” Siwon replied. “This isn’t your fault, okay. Yuri was right. I should be more careful. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

 

Yunho bit his lip. “I’m sorry about your father.”

 

“It’s 25 years ago. The accident was meant to happen. I lost my father. But it’s okay, Yunho. Your father is like my father. And you are my brother. I can’t ask for a better family.”

 

Yunho couldn’t stop his tears. “But I’m still… Siwon, your father would be here if it wasn’t because of me… me and my dumb actions…”

 

“Yunho, just let it go.” Siwon touched Yunho’s hand. “I believe it’s meant to happen. If my father supposed to live, he will. But the reality is different. And it’s okay, Yunho. Let it be.”

 

“I’m sorry…” Yunho hugged Siwon.

 

Siwon rubbed his back. “That will be the last time you apologize, okay.”

 

Yunho scoffed a smile.

 

“And Yunho, can you move a bit? My chest kinda hurts…” Siwon patted his head.

 

“Oh, okay. Sorry about that.” Yunho pulled back and sat again. “You were fine when Yuri did that to you, though.”

 

“Well, because it’s her.” Siwon rolled his eyes. “And because of this accident I know how much she cares about me.”

 

“So… that’s what you thanked me for?” Yunho just realized that.

 

“Yeah…” Siwon smiled. “I’ve never knew how she felt about me. But now I know, at last. Minah told me Yuri cried when she saw me. I think it’s enough.” He looked at Yunho. “During your hard time, I believe someone who’s there for you, loves you, Yunho.” He said. “Well, at least care for you.”

 

“I know,” Yunho replied the smile.

 

When Minah came in with Yoochun, Yunho left the room, didn’t expect Changmin was there, waiting for him.

 

“You’re still here…”

 

“I’m sorry to disappoint you.”Changmin shrugged. “I can leave if-“

  
“No! I didn’t mean it like that… I just… didn’t expect you to stay.” Yunho mumbled.

 

“Well, I stay.” Changmin said.

 

And then Yunho realized it. Changmin was always there. He stayed, he made him dinner, he listened to his boring stories and didn’t even complain once. Changmin knew what Yunho liked and disliked, though he never told him. Yunho didn’t know how Changmin felt about him, but it was fine. He had a lifetime to make Changmin loved him back.

 

“Are you okay?” he noticed the trail of tears on his cheek.

 

 “I’m much better,” Yunho smiled.

 

Changmin smiled back. “Good, then.”

 

“You’re here…” Yunho muttered. “You care about me.”

 

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Changmin said. “I happen to like you too, although you don’t feel the same.”

 

Yunho held Changmin’s hand and turned the man to face him. “Do you really believe that?”

 

“You said it yourself.”

 

“I lied.” Yunho confessed. “But you want us to end, right?”

 

“I lied.” Changmin quickly replied. “I change my mind.”

 

“Again?”

 

“For the last time.”

 

Yunho looked away. “You’ll just gonna change your mind again.”

 

“Then remind me,” Changmin cradled Yunho’s head to face him. “Remind me what I’m fighting for.”

 

“What are you fighting for?” Yunho whispered.

 

“You,” Changmin said softly. “I know I’m selfish, but I want you for myself. I know I don’t deserve you, but please stay with me.”

 

Yunho blinked.

 

“You can slap me everyday for all I care, but please…” Changmin shut his eyes. “I can’t lose you again. If I let you go, I’m afraid I’ll forget what it feels like to be with you and we’ll just fight again.”

 

Yunho felt the same. He didn’t know why they sharpen their knives and hurt each other with words they didn’t mean. “Then… tell me. What it feels to be with me?”

 

“Loved.” Changmin looked at him deeply. He said it because he knew it; Yunho loved him. He didn’t know how he could be so dumb to realize it. To know the answers of the questions in his head, the reason of why Yunho was always there. “I feel loved.”

 

Yunho leaned closer until their foreheads touched. “Do you love me too?”

 

“I love you,” Changmin said, and he pulled Yunho to a hug, couldn’t feel happier as he felt Yunho’s arms went around his body. “I love you.”

 

Yunho laughed in relief. “Gosh, I thought you’ll never say those words to me.”

 

Changmin laughed and felt his body much lighter with Yunho in his arms.

 

“I love you too, Changmin.”

 

*

 

Changmin drove Siwon home. Yunho sat next to him, and Siwon sat on the back with Yuri and Minah. To his surprise, Yuri followed him to Yunho’s house after they helped Siwon got in his house.

 

“Come visit us later, Unnie!” Minah waved.

 

Yuri waved back as she returned to the car.

 

“I thought you’re going with your boyfriend.” Changmin started the engine again.

 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Yuri said.

 

“-yet.” Changmin added, and Yunho laughed.

 

“Mother and Father are waiting in Yunho Oppa’s house.” Yuri said. “They said I have to come.”

 

Now that Siwon was healthy again, Yunho knew it was his family came out next. He totally forgot about the marriage plan. He didn’t say anything, Changmin didn’t say a word either.

 

Changmin’s and his parents were already there, Jihye too. Changmin held his hand and Yunho sat next to him.

 

“So, are you going to continue your relationship?” Mr Jung asked, eyes on Changmin. “Will this continue to a marriage or not?”

 

Changmin felt that Mr Jung knew he had been hurting his son. “I don’t want the marriage.”

 

Yunho froze.

 

“Not now. I want to do this right. Get married when the time is right.” He continued, held Yunho’s hand tight. “But if that’s okay with Yunho.”

 

No Yunho-sshi. Just Yunho. And he smiled inside his heart, gave a squeeze to Changmin’s hand.

 

“Yunho?” Mrs Shim asked. “What about you?”

 

“Okay,” he nodded, tried to be chic.

 

Mrs Jung clapped her hands, felt pleased with the idea. “It’s decided, then.”

 

Later, when the mothers and sisters busy in the kitchen, and the fathers were chatting, Yunho brought Changmin to the garden.

 

“You don’t want to marry me?” Yunho pouted.

 

“I want to. But later.” Changmin explained. “Don’t you understand what I mean back there?”

 

“But what if I want to marry now?” he asked teasingly.

 

Changmin sighed and smiled. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll-“

 

“Oh, Changminnie, that’s a bad habit, you know!” Yunho scolded. “You don’t have to always agree with me! Do what I want to do… instead, what do you want to do?”

 

“What I was gonna say is, we can’t get married now, Yunho.” Changmin corrected. “We haven’t send the invitations, rent the building and order the food.” He smirked.

 

Yunho laughed. “I don’t want to get married in a building.”

 

Changmin kissed his lips. “Where, then?”

 

“Beach.” Yunho kissed back.

 

Changmin gave another peck.

 

“You’re not surprised.” Yunho put his finger on Changmin’s lips to stop the kiss attack.

 

“You didn’t say Mars.” Changmin shrugged. “And the beach suits you.”

 

Yunho hummed as Changmin’s lips attached to his again. “Do you know what else suits me?”

 

“What is it?” Changmin bit Yunho’s lower lip.

 

Yunho giggled. “Your mouth around my cock.”

 

“Hyung!” Changmin reprimanded him.

 

“You owe me a blowjob.” Yunho lifted his eyebrows.

 

Changmin rolled his eyes. “I’ll give you one after lunch.”

 

Yunho whined.

 

“Okay. Now. Where’s your bedroom?”


	13. Chapter 13

Changmin tasted his jjigae.

 

It was perfect. It was always perfect, Yunho said. The older man said that Changmin should join those cooking competition because he’d win it for this signature dish of his.

 

Speaking of the man.

 

Where was Yunho?

 

He told Changmin not to pick him up because he was going somewhere, but really, it was Yunho’s birthday. Yunho knew Changmin knew and he requested those stupid things he saw on romance movies, like flowers and good morning kisses.

 

“You’re a messy eater. The bed will be dirty.” Changmin said when Yunho asked for breakfast in bed. “And brush your teeth. I already do. Maybe I’ll kiss you then.”

 

Yunho just pouted childishly but didn’t say anything.

 

When Changmin put the dishes on the table, the door opened.

 

“Changdol~~” Yunho called cheerfully.

 

Changmin mumbled a reply as he scooped the rice.

 

Yunho gave him a peck on the lips and Changmin kissed back shortly as he was busy with the food.

 

“Smells good…” Yunho hummed. “But Minnie, I already eat…”

 

Changmin shrugged. “What?!”

 

“So… Suho and the other students celebrated my birthday… you know, with Minah and Yoochun too… we went eating… and…” Yunho was biting his lips. He felt guilty.

 

Changmin sighed. “Yeah, well… no worries. I can eat them.” He returned the rice in Yunho’s bowl to the rice cooker. “By myself.” He glanced at the older man.

 

Yunho held Changmin’s arm. “Ah Minnie, I’m sorry! I know I should eat at home, but suddenly they asked me out for dinner, to celebrate my birthday…”

 

Changmin could smell smoke on Yunho’s body. They must have eaten barbeque. But Changmin just cooked kimchi jjigae and potato pancake, because they were Yunho’s favorite food. He bought seasoned chicken too, but… he couldn’t blame Yunho. “Go take a bath.”

 

Yunho sighed as he left to the bathroom. “Okay…”

 

Changmin ate. Alone. He felt pathetic. Actually, it was fine. He knew Yunho loved by many, especially in the academy. He was glad everbody liked his partner, but he couldn’t ignore the jealous feeling that spiked him once in a while. As soon as Yunho got out from the bathroom, with only towel around his waist, he came to the kitchen. Changmin could feel Yunho’s arm wrapped around his waist as he washed the dishes.

 

“Minnie…”

 

Changmin smiled as he heard his name from the person he loved so much. But he hid it. _Play angry, Changmin! Don’t lose to this fluffy man!_

 

“Changmin-ah… are you angry?” Yunho mumbled to Changmin’s back.

 

“You think?” Changmin replied as cold as he could.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry, Minnie… I know I should’ve come home, but I can’t reject their offer, you know? They’re my students after all…”

 

Changmin turned around and broke from Yunho’s hold. “Was it nice?”

 

“What?”

 

Wrong move, Changmin thought. Now that he was face to face with Yunho, he could see the puppy eyes and pouted lips and Changmin almost lost right then. “The dinner,” he managed to say.

 

“It’s only samgyeopsal.” Yunho looked down.

 

“I asked if it was nice.” Changmin repeated. He could feel his shampoo scent from Yunho’s hair.

 

“It is…” Yunho said in the smallest voice. “But your cooking is better, Minnie!” he quickly added.

 

Changmin walked away. “So why did you go eat with them? If my cooking is better.”

 

Yunho quickly followed. “They already booked the restaurant! And I promised Suho to eat together, so-“

 

“Suho?” Changmin stopped and turned.

 

“Suho… you know… my student…” Yunho mumbled, didn’t dare to look Changmin in the eye.

 

“Your student who you gave the bubble milk to.” Changmin described.

 

“… yes.”

 

“The bubble milk I bought, for you.” Changmin added.

 

“… yes.”

 

“He fed you, did he?”

 

“… yes.”

 

Changmin knew that. He couldn’t blame Suho for having a teenage crush on his hapkido teacher, maybe Changmin would too if he was in Suho’s position. But he was better, right? He was in _his_ position, his fiancé. “What else did Suho do?”

 

“Nothing! I mean, even everybody feed me!” Yunho said with victimized expression.

 

Changmin wanted to laugh at his lover’s innocence but instead he pulled Yunho close to him, startled the older man, and slipped his hand to grab Yunho’s ass, the towel fell to the floor. “Did Suho do this?” he asked as he kneaded the muscle.

 

Yunho held his moan. “Changmin!”

 

“I bet he called you Hyung, huh?” Changmin smirked as he saw Yunho gulped with his eyes shut, hands clawed at Changmin’s chest helplessly. “Yunho Hyung, does it feel nice?” he whispered to Yunho’s left ear, all breath and lust.

 

“Ch- Changmin-ah…” Yunho shivered as he felt the hot air in his sensitive ear.

 

“Does it feel nice, Hyung?” Changmin asked again, palm massaging Yunho’s firm ass. He leaned to kiss Yunho’s neck, sucked and bit the skin to leave a deep mark. He could feel Yunho’s hard erection on his clothed crotch. Changmin smirked and turned Yunho around, so his back was in contact to his front.

 

Yunho gasped and almost fell, but Changmin held him tight. The younger’s clothed erection poked his ass.

 

“Yunho Hyung…” Changmin moaned and thumbed Yunho’s cock, collecting the precum. “Hyung…”

 

“Min, don’t…” Yunho was a mess in a short period of time. He didn’t understand how Changmin could break him that easy calling him that. Changmin didn’t call him Hyung. But in time like this- “Ah! Min…” he could feel Changmin rolled his nipples, the other hand was still stroking his dick and Changmin’s lips attached to his shoulder, made another mark. Yunho felt hot all over, and he was longing to the man behind him.

 

Changmin could feel Yunho’s soft flesh rubbed his erection through the rough material of his sweatpants and it made him crazy. He wanted to feel the skin but his hands were too busy wandered around Yunho’s body, to map and memorize every muscle.

 

“Changmin… Changmin…” Yunho called breathlessly. “Kiss me.”

 

Changmin ravaged Yunho’s mouth. He explored the wet cavern with his tongue, felt Yunho fought back. He bit Yunho’s lower lip and sucked. Yunho tilted his head more, tried to feel Changmin more and lapped at Changmin’s tongue, devoured each other. There were wet trails of saliva around their mouth.

 

Changmin took his hands off Yunho’s cock, slicked with precum, and quickly pressed his fingers to Yunho’s hole.

 

Yunho moaned to the kiss, his arms went back around Changmin’s shoulder and head, to pull him impossibly closer and kissed deeper. He could feel Changmin’s long finger probed at his hole and pushed in. The second finger felt too dry but Yunho couldn’t care. “Changmin-ah…” he desperately clutching to the man behind him.

 

Changmin pulled from the kiss and bit his ear gently before asked, “Hyung…”

 

Yunho couldn’t think because Changmin’s fingers scissor him open, pushed in and out and he wanted to feel something bigger, hotter… something more real, more Changmin…

 

“Hyung,” Changmin called again. “Can I fuck you now, Hyung?”

 

Yunho groaned and Changmin smirked. He bent Yunho down to the kitchen counter, Yunho’s nipples brushed the cold surface. Changmin pulled out his fingers and Yunho whined. Not long after, the fingers were back, three fingers, three slick fingers.

 

Changmin must have sucked on his fingers. Then Changmin could taste him, right? The thought made Yunho dizzy and hot. He let Changmin prepped him, hands clutched to the edges.

 

“Can I fuck you now, Hyung?”

 

Yunho moaned.

 

And Changmin pushed in. He cursed as he pulled back a bit and pushed again deeper. Changmin didn’t wait but set up a fast pace when he felt Yunho loosened, made the older man cried in need. Changmin’s hand curled around Yunho’s hard cock and stroked, just the way Yunho liked it. He twisted and thumbed the slit, fucked Yunho harder in time.

 

“Min, please…” Yunho begged. He was in the edge since Changmin touched him.

 

“Do you want to come, Hyung?” Changmin asked as he slow down his pace, but his cock brushed Yunho’s prostate with each thrust.

 

“Changmin…” Yunho whimpered. “Gosh… Changmin…” Changmin’s hand was tight around him, and Yunho just needed a little push. “Faster, please…”

 

Changmin waited until Yunho sobbed, and he moved faster, his hands around Yunho’s cock worked in different rhythm. He could feel Yunho clenched and he knew the older man was close.

 

“Ahhh! Changmin-ah!” Yunho spurted his seed in Changmin’s hands.

 

When Yunho came, his inner muscles trapped Changmin’s cock. Changmin muffled his scream before he came to the tight heat. Filled Yunho’s hole with his cum. He shuddered when he slipped out, walked back so he wouldn’t crush Yunho with his weight.

 

Changmin could see his cum spilled out and the drop flowed down Yunho’s strong thigh. The hole was still clenching around air and Changmin groaned at the sight. “Fuck, Yunho, you make me crazy.”

 

Yunho startled when Changmin suddenly lifted him up, bridal style, carried him to the bedroom and threw him to the bed. Huger and lust was evident in Changmin’s eyes as he stripped off his clothes, and Yunho felt proud he could make the younger felt that way.

 

“Do you want more, Hyung?” Changmin asked seductively.

 

Yunho smirked. “Give Hyungie more, Changdol-ah.”

 

Changmin was still standing before the bed, and Yunho sat on the edge, pulled Changmin closer by his waist, face to face with his crotch. He could hear Changmin whimpered as he put Changmin’s cock on his lips.

 

Yunho opened his mouth and sucked. He knew the familiar taste of Changmin’s cum, and another taste… maybe his. Fuck. The thought made him shivered and he put Changmin’s cock deeper, until it touched his throat and Yunho pushed in more. He could feel Changmin’s pubes tickled his nose and Yunho bobbed his head back and forth, sucked in earnest.

 

He wanted to break Changmin just like how Changmin broke him. He felt Changmin’s hand on his head and shoulder. And Yunho wanted Changmin to lose it. He tightened his throat and Changmin shout a moan. Yunho pulled back when he needed to breathe, hands stroking the length.

 

Changmin was almost faint from the sight. Yunho below him, panted for air, lips red, wet, and swollen, hands around his cock and jerked it furiously. He could see the mark he made on his skin and it turned him on more.

 

“Changmin,” Yunho called as he nuzzled Changmin’s balls. Inhaled the scent that made him drunk.

 

Changmin gulped as he held Yunho’s hair tighter.

 

“Give me my birthday present.” Yunho sucked on the crown hard, and Changmin groaned because of the vibrations sent to his weeping cock. “Give it to me, give it to Hyung, Minnie…”

 

“Fuck!” Changmin came shamelessly to Yunho’s face.

 

Yunho startled but welcome it anyway. He licked the liquid off his lips and there was some under his eyes and on his cheek. Seeing Yunho like this made Changmin hardened again and Yunho realized it. He sucked his fingers sexily. “My turn?”

 

“Again?” Changmin pushed Yunho to lay on the bed and crawled on top of him.

 

“I’m the birthday boy, remember?”

 

Changmin smirked and dropped a kiss to Yunho’s abs, dipped his tongue to the older man’s navel. “What do you want?”

 

Yunho gulped as he watched Changmin’s chin _almost_ touched the tip of his dick.

 

“What does the birthday boy want?” Changmin tilted his head innocently.

 

“I’m hard, Min,” Yunho was out of breath.

 

“Uh huh,” Changmin made a wet trail in his inner thigh.

 

“Mouth-“ Yunho gasped as Changmin sucked and bit on his fles. “On my co- fuck!”

 

Changmin slid Yunho’s cock in his mouth and sucked hard. Practice made perfect. He knew Yunho liked to have his cock sucked, especially by “ _your hot sexy mouth, Minnie_ ,”

 

“Hnngg… more, Min…” Yunho’s hands helplessly went to cradle Changmin’s head, fingers tangled in his hair. The lewd sounds made him breathless. “Changmin-ah…”

 

Changmin licked the visible vein, down to the sacks and his fingers slipped in Yunho’s wet hole. _Fuck_. It was filled properly with his seed and Changmin’s smirked. He came back to sucking, teeth grazed Yunho’s sensitive skin while he fucked the older man with his fingers faster, tried to find his sweet spot. Yunho bucked up, hands on his head pulled him down, chocked him to the large hardness. He let Yunho fucked his throat for some time, felt the pain in his head, and finally pulled out.

 

“You’re a bad boy, Hyung,”

 

Yunho’s eyes dark with lust. Changmin’s lips were wet with his precum, hair disheveled, face flushed red. He surged forward to kiss the man, tasted his own self and Changmin in his tongue. He could feel Changmin kissed his jaw, sucked his neck, down to his chest, and bit his nipple. His hands were still on his head, forced the younger to ravage him more.

 

When Changmin’s lips were on his shoulder, he could feel the man pushed in, slow, and he could feel every move, every skin that entered in. Yunho moaned loudly, his legs went around Changmin’s waist, tried to have more. “Faster, faster!”

 

“Hmm, no,” Changmin shook his head. “You sucked me off earlier. I can last longer.” His left hand held Yunho’s head up, bit his left ear, while his right hand played with Yunho’s nipple.

 

Yunho cursed. Changmin hit his prostate with his every _slow_ move, and he clawed to the younger’s back. “Faster, Changmin…” Yunho couldn’t hold it. He almost reached his orgasm when Changmin sucked him earlier.

 

“No.” Changmin repeated. “Feel me, Yunho,” he held Yunho’s hand tight. Yunho’s wet sobbed were clear in his ear. He leaned down closer so their body stuck to each other, became one.

 

Yunho was panting his name with every breath he took. He could feel his cock trapped under Changmin’s abs, and he move, fastened the rhythm, tried to get more friction.

 

“Happy birthday, love,”

 

Yunho jerked uncontrollably under Changmin’s weight, his inner walls clenched tight, and with another thrust directly to his prostate, he came, covered both their stomach with cum. His felt oversensitive and Changmin moved slower. “Don’t stop,” he grabbed Changmin’s ass, kept him on place.

 

“Not going to.” Changmin replied. “Not until the sun rises.”

 

Yunho moaned and pulled the younger for a heated kiss.

 

*

 

Yunho opened one of his eyes and hated the fact that Changmin wasn’t in the bed with him. He wanted some cuddly time, it was weekend and he wished to spend more time with the younger but his fiancé wasn’t there. He twisted in the blanket and could feel his body ached in some spot.

 

The door kicked open and Yunho turned.

 

“Good morning,” Changmin greeted. He brought a tray with breakfast on it. Orange juice, and from the smell, chicken porridge.

 

Yunho’s face lightened up. “Morning.” He sat up.

 

“Breakfast.” Changmin smiled as he put the tray on the bedside table, offered Yunho the orange juice.

 

“You didn’t let me to have breakfast on bed.” Yunho said over the glass. “Because it’ll make the bed dirty.”

 

“Your body must be sore,” Changmin held the bowl. “And you won’t mess the bed if I feed you.”

 

Yunho grinned.

 

Changmin fed his sunshine a spoon of the porridge. “Delicious?”

 

Yunho hummed happily as he rocked back and forth.

 

“Stop moving or you’ll spill your food.” Changmin said as he wiped Yunho’s lip with his thumb. “Here, aaah~”

 

Yunho thought it was the happiest breakfast he ever had. He couldn’t stop smiling like a fool and it was like a virus that made Changmin smile too.

 

“Now where’s my morning kiss?” Yunho asked as he finished the bowl.

 

Changmin rolled his eyes but leaned in to kiss his fiancé.

 

Yunho put his arms around Changmin’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “Shower together?”

 

“Of course, my prince.” Changmin smiled. “Come on, we have a meeting with the wedding organizer before lunch.”


End file.
